Well, I guess you dispelled that theory. Whenever I start to read one of your stories I think, there is no way he can top the last one but you do. Except for "The Neglected" and that, I believe, was because of your exceptional writing skills. Your writing envelops the reader to the point that they are actually living it rather than just reading it. The subject matter of " The Neglected " was a little too dark for me and your skill as a writer had me living it. Anyway, that's my theory as to why it's the only one of your stories not to break the 4.5 threshold. Truly gifted Thank you for sharing your gift.
Wow, what a story! 5*
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I've read all 3 chapters over the past week or so and to be honest i'm somewhat lost at what to read now.
I particularly enjoyed the coming together of the people from Teegan's past in her time of need. Emotional stuff indeed.
You are a truly remarkable author DC, and i hope that i see this story one day as an ebook, or on bookshelves, or dammit even televised. After all, you can dream, why can't we?
by
Anonymous02/05/17
Amazing
I gotta say: Amazing work! All three parts work well, story is simple yet entangling and I especially loved character development and their amount, well done. Two things I have to add though: Spellcheck! You left a lot of 'too' instead of 'to', couple of misspells and I think one word was wrong although it makes the same 'sound'. Also please expand your vocabulary a little bit, you often repeat adjectives.
Please don't take this as critisism but rather as an advice. Other than that, I really enjoyed your story and I'd love to read a prequel if you ever made it. Hank, Sam and Corbett come to mind as protagonists.
First he weakens Sabbatini with his love for almost his entire life, almost unwittingly destroying the man he held so dear. Then Teegan comes along, undoes all of his work and then struggles to regain the ground that Anthony's love accomplished over several decades by using everyone she had ever met. Then at the very end, she makes him finish the very job that he started and takes the credit for it!
My god, Anthony has to be one of the most unlucky characters in existence whose only fault is loving his father and his God too much. For his efforts and being the hero of his story, he is jailed in Guantanamo for the rest of his life.
I loved the story, but Anthony is such a sad character to think about.
I agree with one of the other commenters that this is the Great American Novel. You brought us into the world of a small baby. Then showed us what love was really all about. Thank you for a wonderful story and I sure hope you keep writing!!!
English
One Hit Wonder
Well, I guess you dispelled that theory. Whenever I start to read one of your stories I think, there is no way he can top the last one but you do. Except for "The Neglected" and that, I believe, was because of your exceptional writing skills. Your writing envelops the reader to the point that they are actually living it rather than just reading it. The subject matter of " The Neglected " was a little too dark for me and your skill as a writer had me living it. Anyway, that's my theory as to why it's the only one of your stories not to break the 4.5 threshold. Truly gifted Thank you for sharing your gift.
B-e-a-utiful
Wow, what a story! 5*
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I've read all 3 chapters over the past week or so and to be honest i'm somewhat lost at what to read now.
I particularly enjoyed the coming together of the people from Teegan's past in her time of need. Emotional stuff indeed.
You are a truly remarkable author DC, and i hope that i see this story one day as an ebook, or on bookshelves, or dammit even televised. After all, you can dream, why can't we?
Amazing
I gotta say: Amazing work! All three parts work well, story is simple yet entangling and I especially loved character development and their amount, well done. Two things I have to add though: Spellcheck! You left a lot of 'too' instead of 'to', couple of misspells and I think one word was wrong although it makes the same 'sound'. Also please expand your vocabulary a little bit, you often repeat adjectives.
Please don't take this as critisism but rather as an advice. Other than that, I really enjoyed your story and I'd love to read a prequel if you ever made it. Hank, Sam and Corbett come to mind as protagonists.
Congratulations.
Congratulations, you wrote the "Great American Novel". I loved every word.
Anthony is the Real MVP
First he weakens Sabbatini with his love for almost his entire life, almost unwittingly destroying the man he held so dear. Then Teegan comes along, undoes all of his work and then struggles to regain the ground that Anthony's love accomplished over several decades by using everyone she had ever met. Then at the very end, she makes him finish the very job that he started and takes the credit for it!
My god, Anthony has to be one of the most unlucky characters in existence whose only fault is loving his father and his God too much. For his efforts and being the hero of his story, he is jailed in Guantanamo for the rest of his life.
I loved the story, but Anthony is such a sad character to think about.
Just a short comment
Hate to see it end......great story.
Wow
Wow
What a great story
More please
Absolutely loved it!!!
I agree with one of the other commenters that this is the Great American Novel. You brought us into the world of a small baby. Then showed us what love was really all about. Thank you for a wonderful story and I sure hope you keep writing!!!
Amazing.
Felt like I was reading a novel all through. Best I've seen. Absolutely amazing.
Another masterpiece by DreamCloud. You need to publish a book, this story and your others.
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