Not bad, I just feel like the brother/sister terms were a bit forced. Since we already know they are twins, it didn't need to be mentioned so much.
This is a really good story i Love the use of chaning pov
... wouldn't that be taken as a given and not an oft-observed detail?
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English
Not bad, I just feel like the brother/sister terms were a bit forced. Since we already know they are twins, it didn't need to be mentioned so much.
For the Sun God
This is a really good story i Love the use of chaning pov
If they are Asian...
... wouldn't that be taken as a given and not an oft-observed detail?
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Until the Sun God Don't Shine or
More submissions by QuaternionSoul.