All Comments on 'Male Virgins & Other Freaks'

I agree the social system pushes young men into these roles. The problem lies in that these roles are built to affect all other roles a young man must play. Can we gain some constant, I doubt it. There will always be young men who pressure and ask dozens of girls out in a single day for success. There will always be the young man who asks out one girl in four years of high school. The real question here is what are we teaching the young people? This world puts so much pressure on the young already, it does not need add these roles. And what happens when the young man tries some unspoken third path? Well I dated two girls from 7th to 12th grade (and seriously considered marriage with the second girl before the end of 12th grade as a result). So in my opinion, I took that third path. I fell in love. Simple and effective and to many in this world of our unacceptable. "He is simply too young to date only one girl." I heard it myself (and heard it load at times) from many including the girl's well meaning parents. So even the third choice can be a pain.

well, guys don't have to be jerks to be womanizers, and the whole "chivalry" thing is a relic of the anti-male court of the duplicitous Eleanor of Aquitaine, who "rewarded" her chivalrous husband, Henry the 2nd of England, by betraying him. Simply put, chivalry was a historical conspiracy against men from the outset. Also, there is the possibility of being passionate, and still being polyamorous. I don't care for the PC, pro-feminist thrust of this. I am in love with a particular woman, but she shares me, and submits to me, without fear that I will abuse. I am a loving master.

Yeah, I was one of those nice guys in high school, and my dating career reflected that status. Namely I can count the number of dates I had on one hand though not from lack of asking the girls out. As a farm kid in a city school, I just didn't have the social status to interest them.

The worst effect of the rejections, which were sometimes rather humiliating as the girls liked to gossip, was on my confidence. It died a slow death over the four years of school, and never returned.

Teenage sex is, unfortunately, generally a waste of time. In terms of developmental psychology, most teenagers haven't progressed enough beyond the self-centeredness of childhood to consistently and thoroughly satisfy a sexual partner, and they often haven't explored their own sexuality enough to discern the 5 Ws and 1 H of arousal, either. I'm sorry that some high school boys either experience or perceive a lack of multitudinous bedpost notches as a social barrier, but bemoaning it is decidedly ineffectual. Bear in mind that a key ingredient of the pathetic loser is self-obsession-- a quality common to both the oversexed stud and the undersexed-but-desperate "nice guy." More important than calculating conquests is learning to differentiate strong, loving individuals from weak, self-absorbed ones.

On the other hand, now that I think about it, most of people that screwed around in highschool, both guys and girls, now are either unemployed or have a shit job, often children and broken marriages. Me on the other hand went on to university, where I met a nice girl whom I have been together a couple of years with now :)

There's an excellent essay by Paul Graham called "Why Nerds are Unpopular" (Google will find it in two ticks) that has a good deal to say on subjects closely related to this one.

I stayed a virgin till I was 21. I really didn't feel the need to have sex in highschool, because I figured out real quick that the girls were just as bad as the men. It takes two. A whore is a whore, man or woman. I hold open doors. I pull out chairs. I am chivalrous. Do I do these things with the expectations of getting laid? No. It seems as though you're giving up to the assholes of the world, but remember this: IT TAKES TWO. If a woman goes for an asshole, what does that make her? A FOOL. Oh, by the way, all my highschool crushes want me now, 7 years after we graduated. Nothing short of winning the lottery is more pleasurable than the look on their faces when I reject them. Funny how the tables turn. I need another beer...

Women have this thing. We want to find a rougue that we can 'reform.' Not all, but a lot are like this. If we can get the jerky guy to be nice to us, we must be really something! Nice guys should try to channel just a little bit of bad boy so theres something we can improve upon! AND not be so nice that that you get taken advantage of or that you become a martyre. Guys who are too 'nice' sometimes aren't. Because they expect a lot in exchange for their 'niceness' (admit it) and they feel and act all victimized when they don't get it. Nice guys seem fragile. A girl might be afraid she'll hurt a nice guy (and she probably will.) At least with a jerky guy, when you decide the relationship is over, you can leave without being the jerk yourself. When you date a nice guy, there's a lot of pressure on you. It's too tempting to take advantage, and then when you do you are an ogre. Nice guys need to find a way to take the pressure off. Learn to be kind rather than 'nice.'Don't be a doormat.That is my advice.:)

Im emailing this to a few people , You said a mouthful honey

The important thing is to measure up to other people, especially those whom you respect.

If an Alpha man with breath & muscular control converted his strength leaking semen leaking , testosterone leaking orgasm into an infinite sexual chaste bliss -- all this shitty situations , aging , poor health , Illness es ,divorces , adultery etc would NOT arise !!!

I, too, noticed this in high school, and found it both disheartening and infuriating. Nice guys didn't finish last, they didn't even finish: they were beaten and left for dead along the side of the road.

I fight a futile fight to not let the English language go to hell too quickly. Change does come, without a doubt, as it should. I take umbrage at the term male virgin. Years ago a virgin could only be a female, one who had not had sexual intercourse and had her hymen broken thereby. In some cultures--desert, nomadic mostly--a clean white fleece was placed under the virgin during her first intercourse with her husband and the next day he displayed the bloody stain to his family, clan, tribal members as proof that the girl had been, in fact, a virgin. A male who hasn't had sex is just a guy who has yet to get laid. Alas, we all accept the term "extra" virgin olive oil today, whatever the hell that means (how can an olive be virginal and how can something be extra virgin?), so calling a male who has yet to experience sex with another person (female or male) a virgin is probably okay, but really, rather stupid. I think solo sex (masturbation) should count and if it did there would be few if any male virgins and not so many female ones either. (Smile readers. I'm not all that serious.)