Nice beginning. I'm interested to see how the set-up works out. The situation is interesting with the wife watching while he and the "target" are fucking. The influence of the other female friend taking photos also could lead to other possibilities.
by
05/25/04
No.
But could write another episode with a different title with less or additional characters.
by
Anonymous05/25/04
Carry on!
Ignore that anonymous cryt, SirDave, that's set things up very nicely. The info from Faith that your protagonist has already 'been with Mellinda ' _potentially_ explains why he wasn't shy to let her see him at it with Faith, but I'm left wanting to know about that encounter (and how Faith knows about it), as well as how the bet turns out. That's at least two more chapters to come! Just control it so it doesn't become one of those drab, 76-chapter sagas going on about, "so they fucked 134 other people as well...."
Not your best work Dave, but good enough to want to read the next chapters. Keep up the good work, you are one of the few male writers I keep coming back to check up on.
English
no need for more
i dont think we need anymore chapters.
Good Start. How does it conclude?
Nice beginning. I'm interested to see how the set-up works out. The situation is interesting with the wife watching while he and the "target" are fucking. The influence of the other female friend taking photos also could lead to other possibilities.
No.
But could write another episode with a different title with less or additional characters.
Carry on!
Ignore that anonymous cryt, SirDave, that's set things up very nicely. The info from Faith that your protagonist has already 'been with Mellinda ' _potentially_ explains why he wasn't shy to let her see him at it with Faith, but I'm left wanting to know about that encounter (and how Faith knows about it), as well as how the bet turns out. That's at least two more chapters to come! Just control it so it doesn't become one of those drab, 76-chapter sagas going on about, "so they fucked 134 other people as well...."
Intriguing
Not your best work Dave, but good enough to want to read the next chapters. Keep up the good work, you are one of the few male writers I keep coming back to check up on.
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