This story has promise, however the you are in desperate need to proof-read your submissions first and also an editor. There are too many miss-spelled words, for instance - ridged instead of rigid, mussels instead of muscles, and many others and grammatical errors which will hopefully be put right before chapter 2.
Your writing is fine, but the finished article isn't the kind of thing that is easy to read. You owe it to your readers, and to yourself, to get your work as near perfect as you possibly can before posting it.
Try to find someone to assist you in things like proof-reading, and don't rely on spell-checkers. If you use a speech to text program, don't!
Please write more, more carefully. Three stars.
by
Anonymous10/18/16
Hucow is a well established fetish.
Why aren't you posting this in fetish or noncon? It would fit well in either. If you dress it up with whips and chains in future chapters, that still won't make it bdsm. Forced arousal and orgasm doesn't make consent, which bdsm is based upon. You have a strong foundation here. Take the prior advice on stronger editing and polish, then post in a more appropriate category. You're reception from readers will improve.
by
Anonymous11/16/16
I loved it
My favorite stories are non con impregnation where there is no intended violence or humiliation toward the woman. I especially love stories like this where the woman's choices don't even matter. Not speaking to her was so hot! This hit all my buttons.
No spelling errors, strictly speaking, in the sense that this tale would pass (and probably has passed) an automated spell-check, but there's a difference between to, too, and two, even though they all sound the same. You often use a wrong word in place of a similarly sounding correct word and it's an uncommon app that can detect these errors.
Seriously, you need a to find someone, a human, to proof read your stuff.
When writing a tale such as this one, one that's built on a foundation of kidnapping and non-consensual abuse, you're eventually going to have to come face-to face with a grim reality: she must never go free and will have to die in captivity; if she ever gets loose, there's hardly a jurisdiction anywhere that wouldn't give the 'farmers' life sentences without parole. You're eventually going to have to snuff her because the farmers will have no choice.
Suggestion: put a pig sty somewhere on the dairy farm in order to permanently -- and completely -- dispose of your worn-out livestock.
English
Has Promise
This story has promise, however the you are in desperate need to proof-read your submissions first and also an editor. There are too many miss-spelled words, for instance - ridged instead of rigid, mussels instead of muscles, and many others and grammatical errors which will hopefully be put right before chapter 2.
A good story spoiled by poor presentation
Your writing is fine, but the finished article isn't the kind of thing that is easy to read. You owe it to your readers, and to yourself, to get your work as near perfect as you possibly can before posting it.
Try to find someone to assist you in things like proof-reading, and don't rely on spell-checkers. If you use a speech to text program, don't!
Please write more, more carefully. Three stars.
Hucow is a well established fetish.
Why aren't you posting this in fetish or noncon? It would fit well in either. If you dress it up with whips and chains in future chapters, that still won't make it bdsm. Forced arousal and orgasm doesn't make consent, which bdsm is based upon. You have a strong foundation here. Take the prior advice on stronger editing and polish, then post in a more appropriate category. You're reception from readers will improve.
I loved it
My favorite stories are non con impregnation where there is no intended violence or humiliation toward the woman. I especially love stories like this where the woman's choices don't even matter. Not speaking to her was so hot! This hit all my buttons.
JOLIE
JOLIE HISTOIRE AVEC UNE SUITE ET SA MISE DANS LE TROUPEAU
Interesting start of a larger tale
Interesting start of a larger tale.
No spelling errors, strictly speaking, in the sense that this tale would pass (and probably has passed) an automated spell-check, but there's a difference between to, too, and two, even though they all sound the same. You often use a wrong word in place of a similarly sounding correct word and it's an uncommon app that can detect these errors.
Seriously, you need a to find someone, a human, to proof read your stuff.
When writing a tale such as this one, one that's built on a foundation of kidnapping and non-consensual abuse, you're eventually going to have to come face-to face with a grim reality: she must never go free and will have to die in captivity; if she ever gets loose, there's hardly a jurisdiction anywhere that wouldn't give the 'farmers' life sentences without parole. You're eventually going to have to snuff her because the farmers will have no choice.
Suggestion: put a pig sty somewhere on the dairy farm in order to permanently -- and completely -- dispose of your worn-out livestock.
Three stars -- woulda been four otherwise.
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