Surprise Wife Ch. 02

Waiting

When does the anvil fall on her indiscretion with Jason?

Don't believe the Hype

Still looking good. Nice set up. If I'm not wrong- the author is setting the scene for some SHOCKING revelations. "grab 'er right in the pussy!

A long ending to a bad story

will not make it better. She is still a useless accessoey to the marriage.

The real story is about to start Jason has her motor running

Okay...

A couple of guys played golf, and then a married couple had sex.

If you're going to break up your story into chapters, you have to give us more than this or we'll quickly lose interest. In general, you should try to end each chapter with a cliffhanger, providing us with further incentive to continue reading. You gave us nothing in this chapter that we didn't already read in Chapter One.

Anon's

At least wait until you have something to gripe about. I thought this chapter was very arousing. 4*.
JJ

Nicely written, the sex scenes

but leaves one wanting as the tension introduced in the first chapter is neither furthered nor resolved. A couple more chapters like this and the readership will plummet.

Just wow!

A new author offers up a better than average piece of writing and all he gets is grief. How about some helpful criticism? SJ came close but still heaped on the sarcasm. Yes, the pacing and chapter breaks could be improved and no doubt the author will improve in that department, but the poolside sex was well written and Jason's name did come up again, so the two chapters aren't completely disjointed. The dialogue flows well. Not Faulkner but what do you expect for free?

Waiting for Ch 3.

Nice stories. I want to know Margo's view of the night in Ch1. There are some missing things that I hope show up in future chapters. I see a DP in Margo's' future....

You've got my attention.

What are you going to do with it? You are following an old lame formula, where the wife is a lying cheating slut, but somehow comes across to the man who has known and lived with her for years as a sweet loyal loving innocent wife. You've also got this young punk asshole word-fucking his wife right to his face and this old experienced businessman can't tell when he is being played like some country bumpkin. Sorry, its just becomes obvious and obnoxious. I was hoping for something more original and believable. This is a box cake, and we've had it served to us a thousand times already.

I'm positive this is just a prelude where we see her cheat on her husband

But I really hope I'm wrong. This was a great chapter with some amazingly hot sex between a husband and wife.

I can see what's coming....

but it isn't unexpected, being this is the LW section. She's been cheating but is trying her new moves on hubby. Well written. 5 *'s

well-written, waking, marital nightmare

Author is playing with readers' worst case expectations like an experienced angler reels in a 20 lb. salmon.