All Comments on 'Pieces of a Marriage'

How about using some names for the characters. I get confused with so many he / she/ him/ her pronouns.

I admire that the author is trying to do something different , but this takes a motivated reader to both read and then reread for fullest understanding. But keep experimenting - writers take awhile to find their voice and I sense the outofshadows has the potential to please both himself and broader audience if that is his ( or her ? ) goal. Good luck.

Most couples wouldn't have made it past her cheating, but liked the effort.

This short story paints a realistic picture of a particular long-term marriage and the stresses of dealing with the constant demands of parenting. It packs a real punch. Well done!

But I admit I had trouble reading it because of the lack of names.

3*

I think this story is dense, but intense at the same time...And in my opinion had the perfect ending...4*

I was not surprsied to see that the author was a woman because it seems to me that men are likely to be more plot and action focused and women more about the emotional environment that surrounds the actions. And this story was certainly about the emotions... LOL!

But it does strike a deep chord. I didn't find it too difficult to read, the context more than provided the 'whos' and 'whats' for the reader.

Could a marriage survive a scenario like this? Partly it depends on how you define 'marriage.' I've know a couple of 'marriages' where they never split up but were more housemates than spouses. Yet there have been some even very public instances in which people have gotten past equally devastating situations.

It isn't entirely clear in the story whether the wife tried to kill herself (and came close enough to say that it wasn't just a ploy) or if it was an accident as the result of her breaking a glass vase and cutting herself in the frey. If it was intentional, then it certainly would be a statement of sorts, wouldn't it? Would it be worth at least talking about it after she was somewhat recovered? Again, some clarity in the story might have helped: was her sexual liaison with the old cad a first time thing? It seem so from her response, but if so how did the spouses know?

I did give the writing and the story a 5* — the effort and the thought that went into the story deserves recognition (after all, consider what we are paying...). But I suspect that as a style, this is a 'once in a great while' type of story.

Very nice work and believable.excellent story.

Some people didn't understand it.

Oh, well, can't please everyone.

I have no idea why it didn't post along with the other stories today. You are a very talented writer and I'm in awe of this story. Write more, please. I wouldn't know how to give it anything other than a five. If this is a sample of your talent we're in for some good days with you posting.

You certainly can weave a story well. Thanks.

Could it have been (even a little bit) less of a narration?

Sure it was more a narration and was lacking in depth at times; but it showed real life! The minutia, the humdrum, the way life kicks you in the ass while you're doing your best.

Is any husband or wife perfect? Hell no but that's what makes the good times better end hecrappy times bearable. Well done!

it was difficult for me to read.

The emotions were dark, the narrative was clinical, and the subject matter was depressing.

boring uncomprehensible cuck shit.

Not a likely scenario. Not a particularly insightful piece on the depth of the wound she inflicted on her husband and their marriage. No love for the children, no self respect.

I thought you did a nice job summarizing one possible marital relationship in one page,

You certainly have a way with words. I don't recall seeing your other stories here before, but I will definitely have to check them out.

The straying, selfish wife is a very (very) common character in these stories. My complaint with most stories featuring such a character is that it's impossible to relate to such a vile, evil, monster who is so selfish and so driven by her sexual urges. All too often, that character is created for the sole purpose of destroying. Again and again, the soulless, evil, bitch wife is created and destroyed in these pages.

You've given a voice to that character. Yes, she is selfish -- but she knows it, and she is ashamed of it. She is a deeply-flawed character, but she doesn't embrace her flaws like so many other wives in this section. Unlike the wives in so many stories, we understand this character's motivation -- selfish and flawed as it is -- and therefore we can identify with her and actually care what happens to her.

Thank you for contributing this story. One of the best I have read here.

This was anything but boring. I am in awe at your ability to weave words. I haven't seen an author in LW that has that much command of words. The closest I can compare it to is Dreamcloud (My absolute favorite author, hands down), but he/she is mostly romance. These heartwrenching emotions were so beautifully laid out that I couldn't stop reading.

This story is scored way too low. I for one will be sure to look for more of your stories.

"No, both were equally culpable" - This line cost you a star. Obviously in any marriage there is plenty of blame to go around. But they were NOT "equally" culpable! She was more to blame than he was,

That comment perfectly explains the relatively low score for this story.

Compare this story to larrylegend's fantasy tale submitted this week. Two stories featuring cheating, selfish wives who cast aside their morality to satisfy their carnal curiosity. In his tale, the wife ends up divorced, humiliated, and shunned by her family. In this tale, the wife realizes the error of her ways, begs for forgiveness, and lives happily ever after into old age with the man she truly loves.

Not that I need another data point to prove my point about the scores in this category.

The poetry of the descriptions and the moments captured are truly impressive..

She was stupid and went somewhere she knew better than to go. Why? Because she could. Someone needed to die in order for thescales to be balanced.

That didn't happen. Mr Player didn't get what was his due. And the stupid slut managed to keep her devoted husband.

More's the pity.

Go eat you daily cum treat from wifey's pussy, you cuck moron.

There are a tiny handful of writers who can just wrap you up in a web of words and hold you paralyzed. You are one of them. Superbly crafted story. Not a stray word that didn't mean something to the story.

@swingerjoe: No one gives a shit. No one cares; no one is interested. No one wants to know what you think about scores or anything else. You're the joke of the site, a bad joke at which no one is laughing. Just boring and completely without any redeeming quality. A huckster, trying to get attention by shouting louder than anyone else. Get a hobby, other than writing, you're truly bad at that one, get a job, do something useful. You're just a gravel in the shoe of literotica.

I don't know him and I don't know you, but your story is fine. Of course, I would have ended it differently, beause hard revenge is good for me, but what does that matter? You keep doing what you do, I will be glad to read it.

some pointless, long-winded raac crap. confusing too.

There are very few marriages that don't have conflict in them - it's human nature. You have in a short space, poignantly laid them bare and yet breathing. Well done.

5/5

and the beats go on etc etc, TK U MLJ LV NV

As usual, you misinterpret my comment. I have no problem with her repentance and his forgiveness, etc., etc.

My ONLY problem was the idea that they were EQUALLY to blame, and that just "ain't so, Joe!"

Thank you to all readers who have left comments, for my response, please read my post http://bit.ly/2eu7gDK

A quick summary: please do not use the comments section to attack other readers or writers and please put your name to your comments if you wish to be taken seriously :)

into the wife`s feelings and her emotional state, surely the writer can only be a woman. I question the husband`s revenge liason, as with the steadfast character the author assigned to him I don`t think that would have happened. Notwithstanding that, I really did end up with a tear in my eye come the end. Really well done ! A real pleasure to see someone posting who can be up there with the best on the site. PW.

The comment just befor mine and just after your's give me pause

Seems to me ''UNNAMED'' is as capable as anyone of a to be taken seriously comment

For a time I used a Literotica profile for comments but was deluged by mostly named commenters who disagreed with my courteous insights. So I dumped that email address.

Not sure where that prejudice comes from. I have read a number of scurrilous comments made by those with ''names''

MADE UP MEANINGLESS NAMES

Someone commented about all marriages have problems seeming to imply that her infidelity sprung from those problems and was excusable.

Cheating in an upstairs bedroom while numerous guests attend a christening party and being caught by two children and two adults is not in any way excusable.

I do not care how full of drudgery your days have become

Adultery is more than a mistake where she chose to give in and when is indefensible

Come on people take a moment to reflect on the where and the when

I have read this exemplary work a half a dozen times now. Once again I am awed by the talent that can combine thousands of disparate words to evoke a myriad of conflicting emotions in the mind of the reader.

In order, I went from being proud of the wife, to sympathizing with her struggle to overcome the increasing demands, at times drudgery, of being a mother and wife, to praying for her to be given strength, to shaking my head in disgust, to cursing her betrayal of her vows, to smirking when she received her comeuppance, to rooting for her revovery, to applauding her efforts to atone, to finally dropping to a knee in acknowledgment of her strength and character, and throught it all holding her husband -AND THE AUTHOR - in the highest of esteem

WELL DONE

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE EFFORTS OF YOUR IMAGINATION

√&√

Technically title is not true

I am angered and insulted by them

CHOPSHOPPED- HOW CONDESCENDING!!!

HAVE TO BE MOTIVATED READER TO READ STORY IN ENTIRETY-DEMEANING TO BOTH THE AUTHOR AND THE READER-my attention was captured and held within the first paragraph

He implies you are a rank beginner and have miles to go to find your voice

BLACKRANDLE1958? Apologies is I spelled that wrong seems to disagree. Having read her examplary works and being a great admirer of her talent I READILY AND PROUDLY ADMIT HER PRAISE OF THIS STORY AND YOUR TALENT PUTS THE LIE TO lsd's indefensible and insulting remarks

Perhaps lsd needs time to develop his croaks

√$√

Thank you for writing this story.

because like the puzzle you have to start at the corners, TK U MLJ LV NV

It is a powerful story about life and love. good writing

Now this is writing. Under normal circumstances I would have disagreed with the content but this was so fabulously written nothing was going to keep it from getting a 5.

And so well written. Not necessarily my cup of tea...a little flowery for me but I'm not all that touchy-feely anyway. I gave it 5*s but my computer only registered 4. Sorry about that. Must be the old and tremulous hand on a very responsive mouse.

I have always wondered why the betrayer goes all nuclear at payback

But you need to stop using too many pronouns.

long wordy boring shit.

Any readers wishing to know what an insightful, intelligent, gifted, and exceedingly seductive woman looks like, should view outofshadows profile!

The couple survived the battles of children, aging, and infidelity to make it through to the other end. Sure they were scarred, but life isn't for wimps. From the comments, I guess not everyone likes a happy ending.

To this endearing work.

I have no knowledge of words to adequately describe your words.

I am stunned by any comments that denigrate this story.

Eloquent beyond the superlative.

Your work has no equal on this site!

I genuflect in awe and admiration!

√&√

Only the Passion of your Portrait surpasses your genius!

√&√

For the detractors/whiners....Life is a hard way to live.....T (age 74 & have seen a few things)

True life at it's best, and worst. I do think she should have expected some sort of payback. After all, she was the one who caused this mess. He obviously didn't count on her response. Then she gets to spend time in the hospital because she can't stand the shit she dealt out. Finally, they were able to get past it and never repeat it. Good story, good writing, EARNS it a 5......ROBT

A little different from the usual cheating story, but effective and satisfying.

I don't see it as happily ever after. I see it as co-existing ever after. First he was destroyed than she was destroyed and they existed. Was it love? Who knows but it was convenient. Still worth Four Stars.

the pieces may never fit nor mesh, TK U MLJ LV NV

Interesting way to tell a story.

The bitch of a wife deserved the revenge fuck from her husband. She brought it on herself with this: "she'd yelled back at him, assigning blame for her betrayal to his neglect."

Fuck that!

Cheating at a christening(!), then getting caught by her husband, best friend (wife of her lover) and her kids... The wife behaved like a total cunt, no amount of "neglect" deserved that.

Then I read the author’s intro to the story, and I just stopped. The author himself described the story as “boring” so why would I even want to read it? Thanks for the heads-up, outofshadows.

You write beautifully. This is very intimate and personal, a glimpse at a woman's interior.

And as I'm sure you know, if you're looking for quick judgment and a lynch mob, you've come to the right place. Social media doesn't do public shaming any better than the loyal readers of Literotica.

Thank you -outofshadows- this story is just beautiful !!!!!!

CCH

and poignant.

You held up a mirror that reflected the pain and hurt that happens when we let our base instincts drive our actions.

Again. I don’t remember this one at all, but it is a great story. The betrayal was all hers. He paid her back in the same coin and she didn’t handle it very well. Tough read.

It's like this

Many couples stay together for the sake of the kids. No life, no love. Just co-exist. Damn.

Still well written.

Very good

4 Stars

With love comes obligation and the duty that comes from it. That old idea that marriages are built and not just contractual. Good, well written story that reminds one of this.

The husband proved himself to be no better than his adulterous wife. They are a well matched pair. May Heaven help their children.

So many aspects of your writing are outstanding: word choice, turns of phrase, creation of vivid imagery, etc. But this story was too hard to follow. You obviously have a great deal of training in writing generally and fiction writing in particular so I have to presume you are aware of the principle, show don't tell. I suggest you revise your style to show those things about which you write in your characters' actions and dialog. Use your obviously well-developed skills to support a more clearly created story line that not only engages your thought processes but also those of your readers. Nevertheless, I am very impressed. Keep on writing.

I had forgotten that I had read this story before and just finished reading it again. I take back my comment below (VikingSailor). In this read, the story wasn't hard to follow and it is very well done. You describe and illuminate aspects of life and relationships in unique and insightful ways. Thanks for sharing it. Please keep writing. You have a special talent.

Good stuff. Well portrayed. Thank you.

Wonderful story and well done. I have to say that I envy the couple. I have been married now for 65 years, I gave my wife an engagement ring in High School and she had to hide it from her family for a year.

I wish I could be as understanding as the husband in this story, however, I cannot imagine my terror and my anger if the only love of my life were to betray me. I sometimes think I could kill, but when faced with my love for her, I could only kill myself rather than live with the pain.

As I said, I wish I were a better person, but I couldn't live without my wife.

It was a decent story. But it did not tug at the emotions, like Ohio’s did. The communication was too vague...3 stars.

Me gustó, gracias autor

Revenge sex is the only acceptable reason for RAAC.

Enjoyed.,⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️