All Comments on 'Here for You Ch. 21-23'

This was horrible! I wanted Ben and Elle to work out!

I felt the ending left much to be desired. The accusation was painful and I found it hard to believe really. No doubt, I would've done the same thing Ben did. But, I highly doubt I would've classified it as betrayal if I were Elle. How can someone protecting their child to the best of their ability be considered any form of betrayal. Her side of the story was that she didn't do it. Was he supposed to disbelieve his son based off of that statement?

I understand where you were going and it could be my parental instincts preventing me from feeling Elle's sense of betrayal.

Moral of the story is, I think you're a good writer and I will continue to read anything else you post here.

Please dont leave them hanging with guilt and regret aleast bring them together.i need a happy ending here.please please and please

This was not the ending i was looking for

Aww...I'm sorry that this is not the ending you were wishing for. For me, romance stories don't necessarily have to have a happy ending to be 'good'. In this case, Ben had accused Elle of abusing his child and she had to endure the police investigation and lost both her jobs. I seriously have no idea how to write a compelling ending if I choose to have them both back together. Of course, it's not impossible, but I don't think I have that level of expertise to do it properly.

Thanks for reading all the way through!! That means so much to me!

I'm sorry for the poor grammar so thank you so much for reading all the way through and commenting. As for the 'child abuse shit' being too contrived, if you remember, there are two different occasions whereby River is worried that Karen is mad at him even though she is not (this shows River is a sensitive child and yearns for his mother's approval - as any child would). So I think that it is believable that he tells Ben, under Karen's instructions, that he had been abused by Elle just to please his mother. And throughout the story, Ben is portrayed as a protective father so it's natural that he is quick to accuse Elle of the act in order to protect his son.

I hope my explanation makes sense.

A possible epilogue? To end with so many loose ends feels awkward. No face to face discussion. Poor River will turn into a lunatic thinking he's ruined his dad's life if he's as sensitive as he's portrayed. At the very least, an epilogue might give closure.

Thank you so much for your comment and support. What you said makes sense, but then, have you thought about Ben being betrayed (instead of Elle)? Yes, the accusation is false in the end, but at that very moment, the betrayal is really real for Ben. He trusted Elle with his son and he thought she had abused him, thus betraying his trust.

I admit I should be clearer in my story-telling and it's something that I really need to improve on alongside my grammar. Thank you for reading!

I've thought about maybe making a part two...but as of now I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm sorry, but I'll leave it here for now because as I've said to Anon#1 and Allinthehead, I don't think I have that level of expertise to write a compelling story to get them back together.

I'm sorry that I didn't do a better job in writing the story but an epilogue of Ben and Elle meeting face-to-face and basically repeating their previous conversation through the phone won't make the ending any more appealing so I think I'll leave this story like that.

Thank you so much for the love and support!

I loved this story, and had I read it sooner would have offered to edit for you. Honestly you could begin a new story with the same characters, and eventually have them reconnect but I think it would have to be a long term thing, like a year or two later. After the dust settles and perhaps the loveable son finds a way to contact her... anyhow thank you for sharing and I look forward to more from you in the future! Should you want any help editing anything, send me a message and we can discuss it.

Rnebular

It wasn't a positive ending. I didnt like it at all. But it evoked emotion from me, and from all the other readers too, if the comments are anything to go by.

Since you do believe that all endings don't need to be happy to be great, just a small piece of advice (hope Im not being pretentious here, just giving my honest opinion).

This ending was awesome, but it would have been heart wrenching if you had ended the story with a conversation between the two characters. Just much much more impactful. Or if you could have shown some kind of symbolism with some object. Say maybe showing Elle with a gift in her hand that she had planned to give to Ben. Maybe she sees River somewhere.

Don't resolve the issue. Show Elle with her hand on the phone or the gift. End it there. Leave it to us to fulfill it with our imaginations. Good stories never end you know?

Thank you so much for your story idea and your offer for editing; I'll keep you in mind. Thanks for reading!

Aww...your idea is so awesome! I wish I'd thought of it. It shows how much improvement I should make to be a somewhat good writer. Thank you so much for reading!

I'm really upset with your ending. I think if Elle and Ben would talk things out a lot could be solved.

I think you have a character that could keep on going. But you are the author. Thank for the story.

You should read Macallan promises by Paco Fear. Even if the genre isnt what you like, read it for how amazingly it is written. It fucking killed me at the end. I dont want to say much but it is probably the one shot that has the most punch on literotica, at least for me.

I hated it mainly for preferring a romance story to have a happy ending. But i will give you that despite your sometimes poor grammar, the story was good up to the last installment. Even though i didn't like the ending, sometimes, probably many times unfortunately, basically good people get ripped asunder by one person's greed or jealousy or something else. That was your story and your message.

It's eaay to pin all the blame on Karen, but i pin it on Ben. Yes, he needed to protect his son, but he really overreacted, calling police even before confronting Elle, and not even probing the accusation from a child. He owed Elle that! In the end, he destroyed Elle's life, he destroyed River's chance to grow up with two loving parents; by that i mean Elle and Ben.

Maybe Lierotica needs a nww category, Tragedy, and you can claim top story for a while. That's sad.

and your score for this chapter shows it. Time invested in the story and the characters, and you end it like this. Be sure, in the future, when I see one of your stories, it'll get an automatic single star.

Thanks for commenting without truly reading! I'm sure I'll take heed of your criticism if you read the entire story.

Aww...I'm sorry you hated the ending. But you and all the others who hated the ending made me sorry that I hadn't thought to put up a warning that says this story doesn't have an ending where everybody ends up together. I didn't know there's this unspoken rule on this site that a story under the Romance category has to have the main characters fuck each other till all eternity. I'll know what to do in the future ;) As for the automatic 1-star, well, fell free to do what you want. I'm not making or losing money out of doing this thing. Thanks for reading!

Really enjoyed the storytelling here, but was sad to see the way you ended it. Just a personal preference, doesn't take away from your series tale up to this point. Ah well as the saying goes...que sera sera!!!!

Elle has a very good case against the hotel and even against Ben. I don't think she would sue Ben but the Hotel acted vindictively both firing with out cause after she was cleared and for refusing to supply a reference. She could sue the manager directly for that decision.

ending was really contrived.

Let's have a somewhat unconventional love story with bumps and difficulties and then end it with a pasted in graphic a few paragraphs from the end .

Is this really the end or is there just like a little HEA happening in the future. Thanks! Great writing

I don't usually go for the full on romance stories, especially ones with so little conflict as this one had (up to the ending), but found the characters likeable enough to read it through. I thought the main flaw in the story all along was that everyone was too perfect and was wondering how the tagged betrayal would play out. Cheating didn't make sense, as you could tell that Ben was unlikely to choose Karen in her grieving state over Elle because it would be out of character for him.

With that in mind, it would take a huge wedge to drive them apart and child abuse certainly fits the bill. I agree that after an accusation like that it would be almost impossible to reconcile the couple believably so the ending is what it is. It just didn't seem to fit with style of the story, so it made me wonder about the author's motivation in ending it this way.

It could have been the author grew tired of comments directed his way about the lack of conflict or action in the story and decided to slap the readers in the face with the downer of an ending to the romance. That reaction seems a bit childish, but I could see someone thinking like that after seeing their hard work get picked at, even if the ratings were high for all the previous chapters. Another option is that the whole story was a slow burn troll with a planned downer of an ending all along. If that was the case, my hat is off to the author for playing that long game so well.

Thank you for your awesome comment and your attempt at psychoanalyzing me. However, I assure you that it was never my intent to troll the readers or write an intentional downer. I had finished writing this story completely before posting it so the comments I'd received never played any role in the ending. Besides, I don't care for ratings because I am neither making or losing money from posting stories. If you read my response to one commenter, it was just purely poor writing on my part, plain and simple and I am not afraid to admit it. This was my first story in the Romance category and I didn't know there was an unwritten rule that all stories in this category need a happy ending. I don't know if real people need to 'talk' about their relationship in depth when one has accused the other of a serious crime; personally I wouldn't ask my ex if they want to get back together with me if I had accused them of abusing my child (even if it was a false accusation). I wouldn't want to get back together with a person who had accused me of a serious crime either.

So thanks again for your comment. It is a very fair observation, although not very accurate.

good story, looking for more, but not bad, keep writing

It's understandable when someone can't imagine a happy or at least hopeful ending or people who might have a future together to write that into a story, but after spending so much time with Elle it was hard to see her put through the wringer and then just left there wanting to let the world pass her by. Wish Elle could be picked up in another more hopeful story where she is enjoying fat checks from her hotel and police lawsuits and finishing up her education and getting a real romance, where she has more fun and doesn't have to be a responsible parent figure right away.

I will honestly admit that I am a flawed as the next person, reader or story commenter. Sometimes I try too hard to be clever in my comments and that may have been the case this time, but I do try to put some thought into them and would hope that might be recognized. I gave two paragraphs summarizing my thoughts on the story and why I did agree with why it had to end like it did given the betrayal over the false accusations. My third paragraph was a couple of theories that you shot down in flames like the hot air balloons they were.

---QUOTE---

However, I assure you that it was never my intent to troll the readers or write an intentional downer. I had finished writing this story completely before posting it so the comments I'd received never played any role in the ending.

---

I was just a little surprised by the sarcastic tone of your reply, since these two sentences would have killed off my suggestions easily, but if taking a sarcastic shot at someone who was carefully considering your story works for you, by all means, fill your boots.

I would only suggest that you should look at the disappointment of those who didn't like the unhappy conclusion as a compliment. You created characters that readers got emotionally invested in enough that it hurt them to see their romance end and they responded to that pain

I have learned to appreciate the raw, honest, pain that a sad ending can bring to a story as much as the uplifting joy of the traditional happy ending. Good, believable writing is what counts and I thought you had that covered.

i haven't read the whole story, and I read only this. This has story has spiritual lessons; sometimes surrendering to the life's surprises, and in this case knowing El fully well that she was innocent and her stoically accepting her arrest and interrogation, can turn out to be unpredictable. She was free, but she wasn't happy. I think this is one of the most realistic plausible stories. Fact is stranger than fiction, and even though this is a fiction, it teaches just that; THAT GOOD PEOPLE CAN WIN TOO. But that said, the end is one of the most realistic; the hurt that Ben caused her, the humiliation must have burnt whatever feelings she had for him. He hurt her self-respect; she was a good person, and she loved him, and it was reason enough to feel the hurt which overpowered the happiness that ought to have come with her release. That little kid is going to feel miserable because he lost what could've been a good mother. She is dealing with the fallout and in time she will become happy again. A true transformation in her character post-hurt has been written so well. Thank you. 5*

I like a happy ending as much as the next person, but this is your story, your art, if this is where your story led you, then you have to write it that way, please don’t compromise yourself to make us happy.

Thank you for writing your story.

I found this story by change and I, too, was crushed by the ending. However, this is how real life works. I know that most people in this category want a HEA but after all that happened I feel that it's not possible.

After the charges against her was cleared, Elle lost her boyfriend, and both jobs because of it. The impact on her life was so profound that if I were in her shoes, I would never want to hear or speak to Ben again. He was trying to protect his child and reacted on instinct, but it was a devastating blow to their relationship. If they got back together, this would come back to haunt them in the future.

One loose end that I feel that needed tidying was Karen. I think that having Elle suing her for defamation and maybe prison time for wasting police resources. Elle could use the money from the lawsuit to start over and she wouldn't have a record to haunt her. This way, it would give the readers some sense of justice, because as it is, I think she got off scot-free and the story feels a tad unfinished. Still, I loved it and will look at other stories from you!.

After a great job of story development and creating believable characters, the author seemingly hit a block and simply wrote "the end"!

Well, that was a terrible ending. Good lord what a waste of time that was! WTF? How is this tagged as Romance? This is as far from a romantic ending as possible. As I was reading through this story I thought the writer was doing a phenomenal job of constructing believable characters, developing them, giving the story depth and romance. But now it feels as if it was a giant prank perpetuated on the audience. I've never been glad that someone had stopped writing before, I am now happy that this person is no longer submitting work. Unless they come back and add a bunch more chapters that bring Ben and Elle together, revisiting and revising this terrible ending.

Terrible, I wasted my time.

Ben is such a wuss that Karen will get him in the end. Why not write that?

Well there’s an hour I’ll never get back. What a piece of shit story

Realities of the life.....

No matter whatever you sacrificed, devoted and contributed, a minor rumour can wash away everything.

Only Parents & family can accept you even with your misdeeds. No one else.

Love the family and not the so called lovers.

India is a nation of family, we have 1.5 billion peoples in less than 200 million joint families, 95% arranged marriages and world's lowest divorce percentage 5%

Think about it.....

I'm agree with @LunaScarlet for loose end

I liked it very much and was so much like real life's ups and downs so I guess I'll rate this story with 5 BIG ASS FUCKING BLAZING STARS and just say fuck off to all the negative commenters!

Can we get an epilogue from bens point of view?

Hated it 100%. Not even kidding.

Well written and was really enjoying the story until this last part not ending i was expecting very disappointing

Not the best but by far not the worst,