Stud and Sister

Sexy Adam

Can Adam have a bit of chest hair for that hard and muscular chest? It would be very inviting for Sarah to rest her worried head on his chest as on a soft pillow of hair. Also, let Sarah run her fingers gently through Adam's chest hair.

Pick a point of view and stay with it. Jumping back and forth between to narratives is just stupid.

Spell Check

You need to check spelling (her fits). Good story other then some things like (and lined and lined up)

tanned

How many times is that word going to be used incorrectly! Tan is a colour, tanned refers to the skin colour or tone after sitting in the sunshine.

an excellent story

Every kid sister should lose her virginity to her big brother--that's really part of his job description as a big brother. It's his fat cock that should be the first cock up her tight little twat, the first to make his baby sister cum like a river. One slight objection: when Adam blows his heavy brotherly balls it should be right up his little sister's sweet little slit--her big brother's semen should be the first great big load of semen a baby sister gets shot up her cute little cunt.

Enjoyable.

Sweet and short. I usually like a little more build-up but this was very nice. Thank you.

tender and erotic

Better if it had been longer. Need Chapter 2