I loved your story...Keep writing, ok...Got any true ones..Would love that...
HotStud1000
by
Anonymous06/07/04
Not Bad
I think it was a decent story. The setting was appropriate and the steps that led to sex were worthy. If I was to play the role of editor this would be my re-write recommendations:
-Develop the character before the event. Talk about them at home getting ready for the event, meeting at the event, spending the day together (with sugestive remarks made throughout the day).
-Flush out the emotions envolved. Are they in open relationships or is this union a risk for them.
-Expand the sex scenes a little more. Discribe how it is feeling not just what is happening.
English
Loved It..Sorry you others...
I loved your story...Keep writing, ok...Got any true ones..Would love that...
HotStud1000
Not Bad
I think it was a decent story. The setting was appropriate and the steps that led to sex were worthy. If I was to play the role of editor this would be my re-write recommendations:
-Develop the character before the event. Talk about them at home getting ready for the event, meeting at the event, spending the day together (with sugestive remarks made throughout the day).
-Flush out the emotions envolved. Are they in open relationships or is this union a risk for them.
-Expand the sex scenes a little more. Discribe how it is feeling not just what is happening.
Looking forward to more.
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