John's Rise

Good

Good start!!! Keep it up!!!

What a flake. The author waits till his story is over 4.50 before disabling voting.

Good stuff

This is good story. Please expand on your next story!

If you decide to make it a series then it was a really good start, if it'll stay a stand alone then it was good but a bit lacking in details and character development. And you definitely should leave the voting open if you want survive here, stunts like this one won't generate any fandome.

4*

Proof reading...

...is usually advisable. A few errors in what was a pretty good story. And why no rating available?

Addressing Issues

Firstly, I would like to thank all the silent readers and the few commenters. I appreciate all feedback, both good and bad, as it will help me improve.

Secondly, I will address the issues with the story/post.

Voting - I apologize for the voting situation. This is my first time ever posting a story on this site and as such I interpreted the voting to mean entering into the monthly contests and for prizes. I had no interest in this so I had placed it Off when I submitted my post. Realizing it mostly was just for people to rate my work I switched it back on from my phone. I am sorry to all those who wish to vote but have been unable to do so because of my lack of experience with the site. I assure you I will keep voting on in all future posts.

Length/proof-reading - Again this is my error in judgement and I should have taken a closer look to ensure I got all the errors out. The length of this story seemed longer than what I see now above. Knowing now how short the post actually was I will expand in my future work. Additionally, John's Rise, will be a multi-part series and hopefully something that you all will continue to bear with as I attempt to improve.

The Sex scene being at the end - I feel that, yes, this is an erotic story. However, it is still a story so it will be told as a story, not centered around the sex itself. I will not shy from details in future writings and will attempt to evolve and grasp my readers wants, but I will still be attempting to write a story, not a porn manuscript that is barely realistic in many ways. I will take into advisement though to not leave the sex until the last moment as I realize this is one of the main reasons, if not the only reason, some people read these stories, and attempt to do it in a way that is realistic yet gratifying to the reader.

Thank you all once again and I encourage all feedback, even if you choose to bash my story to the lowest parts of hell. We can never improve without criticism.

Handsome Prince John

So Prince John found a worthy woman after all. When John is stripped naked, please give him chest hair for Maree to caress and stroke. He finds her very sexy; let her return the favor!

Not bad but in serious need of proofing.

You have several diction errors. You need someone to proof for you.