This can go many ways, mostly because it is so brief. I'll wait to see what you do with this, but the tension has begun and that's a plus. We may have a cuckold story, a hot wife story, a reconciliation story, or a revenge story.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
Watch
And weep for somebody... will there be 1 loser or 5 losers in this next chapter. That is the only question.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
Oh, what a surprise. Another cuckold story from a cuckold author.
The only drama is how soon this doob will be sucking these old guys' cum out of his wife's snatch. Pathetic. Senior citizen fuck toys, every beautiful young slut's dream. Guess she carries Viagra in her purse too. What a laugh.
Remember, every English husband wants to be a cuckold, and every English wife is a whore.
You gave us a setup with no punchline. I understand this is only Chapter One, but did you give us enough of a story to motivate us to continue reading? Maybe. Maybe not.
A couple of technical issues: you have so many run-on sentences in this short chapter that lost count of them. This makes the story difficult to read. Likewise, the LONG paragraphs make it difficult -- especially on a cellphone!
Given the latest trend in this category, I expect the husband to turn into a serial killer in Chapter Two and murder everyone in the dance hall. But I guess we'll have to wait another day (or more) to find out.
though I guess each of us has a different perception. Some of us think that wittols abound while others project the violence in a few stories has completely taken over. Neither is true.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
It's not a bad start
It's not a bad start and opposed to some comments I only see it going one way, based on the husband reaction: Divorce! The only unknown fact is he a revengeful guy, and get his revenge on all of them? I liked this part...Let's wait for what the writer has for the future of this story...
Set up was good. The easy part is over. Now, what happens next? There's the rub. Based on this writer's previous submissions, we will descend into depravity and the wife will become the plaything of old men. I hope not, but there is precedent.
Many, many writing problems. Not plotting problems, but mechanical things. Very poorly constructed sentences, no clue about punctuation. You need an editor, badly. The sooner, the better.
I would estimate there are at least five cuckold/sharing/hotwife stories posted here for every story of any other variety: True Loving Wives, consequences, reconciliation, murder porn.
That is the trend, and, it appears, it always has been the trend. It's the nature of the beast. Those who pretend otherwise, delude themselves and attempt to delude the readers. Look at the stories posted this week: 20 c/s/hw stories. 2 consequences stories, 1 reconciliation, 1 superspy/war story and 1 murder porn. See the trend? The rest is dust, thrown in the air in an attempt to obfuscate the truth.
Nice start, looking fwd to continuation of the tale.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
Author
As a 65-year-old gentleman myself, who is part George Clooney and part Fred Astaire, I would love to find a club where I could dance with 40-year-old married ladies... Fairly certain I could show them a great time.
I hope it doesn't turn out to be a three page story , object of three postings. I found that he is all ready being called a wimp. Was he supposed to rush in and hit people who had their hands on his wife. or was he supposed to lock the bitch out of the house.....
These macho reactions will just only earn you time in the cooler.
Another trend is for authors to submit stories containing a wife's adultery in categories other than Loving Wives. Inter-racial, Mature, Erotic Couplings, etc all have frequent stories which would be eligible for a LW posting.
Today there even was one (A Housewife Exhibitionist -- Exhibitionist housewife could not control herself) posted in Exhibitionist & Voyeur category. Surely stories like these are just as deserving of condemnation by the Moral Brigade as those posted in LW?
There was also a sweet story of a man coming home to a loving wife who he was married to. How good is that?
Would I be correct in assuming that many LW story commentators make their daily access to Literotica only via the Loving Wives stories tag rather than via the New Stories list?
We need more than 1 page to start a story. If I voted I'd reduce it down to a 2* because of that.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
no he doesnt rush in and hit any one but why go back to a bar and miss when the music and dancing stopped
how brain dead is he, and with her panties in hand why not ask real questions as to when she got in and what the fellow and his wife's full names were, after all his wife is going out riding with someone he doesn't even know. Always remember dead wives tell no lies. She is already sneaking around and planning a trip. Why not throw a spanner or two in her lap before the divorce. Sorry but I have no idea why anyone would allow this to go on for months without much more information.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
The trend everyone is looking for!
LueDon, FrontLineCaster and Swinger Joe all arrested on successive days for something like lewd and indecent or soliciting or pandering. Maybe indecent exposure. Now that would be a trend!!
Maybe you should go over to those other categories, LueDon. How about interracial. You like all the racist shit, anyway. Maybe you could just fuck other women's husbands, like you say you did in your stories.
To many assumptions that prove to be correct. It means the author is resorting to tropes: cheating wife caught by clueless but well intentioned husband, who just happens to have a mean streak a mile deep that he has carefully disguised until now.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
It's A Start
The setup. Have to agree with HDK. With what we have this can go in any direction. Also agree with others on the writing. Might like to check with an editor for help. Or maybe a proofreader. Overall no vote. I'll wait till you finish. Looking forward to that.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
Could go lots of ways.
Is he a man or a cuck, is she cheating or not, but we will see.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
The story is competently written, and we're ALL reading it.
As others have noted, based on the types of stories posted to LW, there seems to be a much greater interest in cuckolding/wife-sharing stories than in BTB stories, although the smaller BTB crowd is more vocal in their disapproval of the former, than is the former of the later. Do you see, best beloved?
Oh, what a surprise. Another cuckold story from a cuckold author
Anon what you stated about Brit husbands and wives. You come and chat my wife up, or be within 3 feet of her and you will find out when eating through a tube, that that statement and you are sooooo wrong. That is if I want let you off and be kind to you. Never say bad things about others, as you will most times be wrong.
A short little setup. I'll hold off and wait to see if this actually turns into a story. So, no grading yet.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
Just another heartless Cunt wife and an
About to be Sissy coward husband story. Fuck I hate those. He already has evidence with her chum stained sexy panties that she only wares for her real man, not her husband. And just how she acted at the club then disappearing. Duh how fucking stupid is he. Oh ya that's the only way a sissy coward husband story can work. Doesn't matter how the writer tries to spin it from here. She is a heartless cheating Cunt.
5 stars, can't wait for the rest of the story xoxoxoxo Annette
by
Anonymous10/29/16
hurry with part 2
to our hero: dude u can be a wimp and sneak around waiting to catch her or......try this..... "Linda what i saw last night was very troubling...i want you to stop dancing @ our club unless it is with me...what you have been doing does not pass the smell test or the husband test..Would you do that in front of our children ? your mum an dad ? me ? i don't think so...if you give me any reason to think you aren't stopping i will cancel our membership.and start divorce proceedings ......one more thing i want you to to sch. a meeting with a marrage counselor for us to talk about your planned trip to Blackpool !!!!! "...stlcris
by
Anonymous10/29/16
I don't like any story
Where a single page is considered a chapter. Get on with it. He already has physical evidence. Don't go all tea-sipping cuckold pussy and ruin what is a pretty good, though boilerplate, story. Please.
by
Anonymous10/30/16
She is definitely in a relationship with this guy and maybe two of them. He knows she fucked him and is lying so why wait or so he knows and wants one more time to follow for the pictures he needs while confronting her. He's letting her do something she loves and he's not good at so she betrays him. Also no other man picks up my wife , she should be driving herself. I'm to jealous for any of it and at the mention of a trip away that would of been a no even without suspicion. Curious to see where you take it . Would like him to have proof to show kids and family and friends of her betrayal. It would be hard to hit the guy being he's much older
Would rather a longer chsptet, but will have to wait. Me I would have confronted her in the bedroom
by
Anonymous10/31/16
He will end as cuckold as always!!! MINUS 5*!!!
What is that crap for? Cuckolding isn`t a theme to trip somebody out!! Its lame and pathetic!! Only real brain sick people are in cuckolding sharing or swapping!! I look for the next chapter but fear that`s the same crap as always!!
by
Anonymous11/01/16
What about the panties?
If he's looking for evidence, why didn't hang on to the panties? Better yet, why didn't he take the panties and shove them in her face an ask her to explain the smell. He should know what she smells like after 20 years.
“I had zoned out after hearing how good he was over and over, maybe that was why I had turned up to check him out.” – This is unnecessarily confusing. I can figure out that you turned up after hearing how good he was, but it almost seems like you turned up because you zoned out!
“That agreement had worked fine until recently when Linda started to become more involved with her love of dancing.” – I’m a little confused – is her getting “more involved” impinging on their time together?
I agree, editing is needed, and why not hold onto the panties?
“I needed irrefutable proof” – Panties smelling of what must be semen isn’t enough? At least save them and get them tested!
He got home at 9:30, so the dancing ended sometime before that, but she doesn’t get home till almost midnight! What does he need, a written confession?
If you didn't like this chapter, don't bother with chapter 2!
There were only two half-way realistic ways for this to have gone -
1) Walk across the dance floor to his wife and let her know he is there! Pull her away from George and reclaim his territory. If he is halfway capable, HE dances the rest of the evening with her. If he does allow other men to dance with her, it will be with the knowledge that he is watching them! When the dancing is over he takes her home and makes it VERY clear that that he doesn't approve with how her partners got overly familiar with her, and henceforth she will only go out dancing when he can accompany her, unless and until he can be reassured that only dancing goes on! It would make this a very short story, LOL!
2) He goes home as written here, but take the panties into the bedroom and shove them in her face and ask her whose cum is in them, and he hopes she washed it all out of her cunt! When she tries denying tell her he was there and he KNOWS she left the club before 9:30 yet didn't get home till midnight! IF he (and she) want to save the marriage, similar to above, except that she can either confess to what happened, or he can have the panties tested to prove that the semen is from another man, and seal them in a plastic bag. Again, a short story.
Don't agree with these guys who want to "see where it goes".
It had already gone too far. So what if he tips his hand by shutting it down right then. Obviously she is doing at least two of the guys in the dance party and just as obviously the rest of the dancers know about it. So nothing to save here and nothing to gain by letting it go on. She has every right to screw anyone she wants, her body, her choice. He has every right to let her do it as a single person, although I would make sure she needed to get another partner. Her choice sure, but a thief needs to be shown the error of his/their ways. Dancing has always just been foreplay anyhow. Except hip-hop, I guess that's birth control.
by
Anonymous11/20/16
very good
you got the sickos all riled up.
by
Anonymous11/22/16
just like these stories, she is cheating by her actions even if she has not been laid. Confront her and divorce her .
I agree with sbrooks option 2 confront her now with the panties etc. . End it now , one way or the other. Any other way is just avoiding the inevitable.
Way behind the curve here; in terms of a timely comment
Author is doing a first rate job winding up the Loving Wife habitues ( of which I am one ). We'll see shortly how the potential is paid off. Much mayhem looming on horizon.
More details should be given. This was definitely not a good point to break your story. Far too many variables unaccounted for. At this point, I personally, find the story lacking in so many areas. I can only hope that my interest increases during Chapter 2 or I will not still be around for Chapter 3. The best I can give you is 3-stars.
English
It's a good start
I look forward to part 2.
The set up.
This can go many ways, mostly because it is so brief. I'll wait to see what you do with this, but the tension has begun and that's a plus. We may have a cuckold story, a hot wife story, a reconciliation story, or a revenge story.
Watch
And weep for somebody... will there be 1 loser or 5 losers in this next chapter. That is the only question.
Oh, what a surprise. Another cuckold story from a cuckold author.
The only drama is how soon this doob will be sucking these old guys' cum out of his wife's snatch. Pathetic. Senior citizen fuck toys, every beautiful young slut's dream. Guess she carries Viagra in her purse too. What a laugh.
Remember, every English husband wants to be a cuckold, and every English wife is a whore.
And....?
You gave us a setup with no punchline. I understand this is only Chapter One, but did you give us enough of a story to motivate us to continue reading? Maybe. Maybe not.
A couple of technical issues: you have so many run-on sentences in this short chapter that lost count of them. This makes the story difficult to read. Likewise, the LONG paragraphs make it difficult -- especially on a cellphone!
Given the latest trend in this category, I expect the husband to turn into a serial killer in Chapter Two and murder everyone in the dance hall. But I guess we'll have to wait another day (or more) to find out.
Trend in LW? Hardly
though I guess each of us has a different perception. Some of us think that wittols abound while others project the violence in a few stories has completely taken over. Neither is true.
It's not a bad start
It's not a bad start and opposed to some comments I only see it going one way, based on the husband reaction: Divorce! The only unknown fact is he a revengeful guy, and get his revenge on all of them? I liked this part...Let's wait for what the writer has for the future of this story...
So far, so good
Set up was good. The easy part is over. Now, what happens next? There's the rub. Based on this writer's previous submissions, we will descend into depravity and the wife will become the plaything of old men. I hope not, but there is precedent.
Many, many writing problems. Not plotting problems, but mechanical things. Very poorly constructed sentences, no clue about punctuation. You need an editor, badly. The sooner, the better.
I would estimate there are at least five cuckold/sharing/hotwife stories posted here for every story of any other variety: True Loving Wives, consequences, reconciliation, murder porn.
That is the trend, and, it appears, it always has been the trend. It's the nature of the beast. Those who pretend otherwise, delude themselves and attempt to delude the readers. Look at the stories posted this week: 20 c/s/hw stories. 2 consequences stories, 1 reconciliation, 1 superspy/war story and 1 murder porn. See the trend? The rest is dust, thrown in the air in an attempt to obfuscate the truth.
Good setup
Nice start, looking fwd to continuation of the tale.
Author
As a 65-year-old gentleman myself, who is part George Clooney and part Fred Astaire, I would love to find a club where I could dance with 40-year-old married ladies... Fairly certain I could show them a great time.
The location please...
Good Start
I hope it doesn't turn out to be a three page story , object of three postings. I found that he is all ready being called a wimp. Was he supposed to rush in and hit people who had their hands on his wife. or was he supposed to lock the bitch out of the house.....
These macho reactions will just only earn you time in the cooler.
On the subject of trends
Another trend is for authors to submit stories containing a wife's adultery in categories other than Loving Wives. Inter-racial, Mature, Erotic Couplings, etc all have frequent stories which would be eligible for a LW posting.
Today there even was one (A Housewife Exhibitionist -- Exhibitionist housewife could not control herself) posted in Exhibitionist & Voyeur category. Surely stories like these are just as deserving of condemnation by the Moral Brigade as those posted in LW?
There was also a sweet story of a man coming home to a loving wife who he was married to. How good is that?
Would I be correct in assuming that many LW story commentators make their daily access to Literotica only via the Loving Wives stories tag rather than via the New Stories list?
If so, you are missing so much.
Lue
Too short to rate
We need more than 1 page to start a story. If I voted I'd reduce it down to a 2* because of that.
no he doesnt rush in and hit any one but why go back to a bar and miss when the music and dancing stopped
how brain dead is he, and with her panties in hand why not ask real questions as to when she got in and what the fellow and his wife's full names were, after all his wife is going out riding with someone he doesn't even know. Always remember dead wives tell no lies. She is already sneaking around and planning a trip. Why not throw a spanner or two in her lap before the divorce. Sorry but I have no idea why anyone would allow this to go on for months without much more information.
The trend everyone is looking for!
LueDon, FrontLineCaster and Swinger Joe all arrested on successive days for something like lewd and indecent or soliciting or pandering. Maybe indecent exposure. Now that would be a trend!!
Maybe you should go over to those other categories, LueDon. How about interracial. You like all the racist shit, anyway. Maybe you could just fuck other women's husbands, like you say you did in your stories.
Too many coincidences
To many assumptions that prove to be correct. It means the author is resorting to tropes: cheating wife caught by clueless but well intentioned husband, who just happens to have a mean streak a mile deep that he has carefully disguised until now.
It's A Start
The setup. Have to agree with HDK. With what we have this can go in any direction. Also agree with others on the writing. Might like to check with an editor for help. Or maybe a proofreader. Overall no vote. I'll wait till you finish. Looking forward to that.
Could go lots of ways.
Is he a man or a cuck, is she cheating or not, but we will see.
The story is competently written, and we're ALL reading it.
As others have noted, based on the types of stories posted to LW, there seems to be a much greater interest in cuckolding/wife-sharing stories than in BTB stories, although the smaller BTB crowd is more vocal in their disapproval of the former, than is the former of the later. Do you see, best beloved?
Oh, what a surprise. Another cuckold story from a cuckold author
Anon what you stated about Brit husbands and wives. You come and chat my wife up, or be within 3 feet of her and you will find out when eating through a tube, that that statement and you are sooooo wrong. That is if I want let you off and be kind to you. Never say bad things about others, as you will most times be wrong.
As @kimi1990 said: "So far, so good"...
As @kimi1990 said: "So far, so good"...So now we have to wait and see where the author wants to take this story and the characters. 3* for now
You forgot the 'O', Anonymous
If you are going to do Kipling's Elephant's Child, it has to have an O.
O Best Beloved:
I have six honest serving-men
They taught me all I knew
There names are What and Why and When
And Where and How and Who
etc.
Words to live by, Anonymous.
Lue
Not enough
A short little setup. I'll hold off and wait to see if this actually turns into a story. So, no grading yet.
Just another heartless Cunt wife and an
About to be Sissy coward husband story. Fuck I hate those. He already has evidence with her chum stained sexy panties that she only wares for her real man, not her husband. And just how she acted at the club then disappearing. Duh how fucking stupid is he. Oh ya that's the only way a sissy coward husband story can work. Doesn't matter how the writer tries to spin it from here. She is a heartless cheating Cunt.
5* start, let's see how it goes. By the way, folk? A trip to Blackpool is the British
equivalent of a trip to Las Vagas.
All drugs, booze and cheating sex.
Although compared with Vegas, Blackpool is crap. But it does have the Blackpool Tower.
I love intrigue
5 stars, can't wait for the rest of the story xoxoxoxo Annette
hurry with part 2
to our hero: dude u can be a wimp and sneak around waiting to catch her or......try this..... "Linda what i saw last night was very troubling...i want you to stop dancing @ our club unless it is with me...what you have been doing does not pass the smell test or the husband test..Would you do that in front of our children ? your mum an dad ? me ? i don't think so...if you give me any reason to think you aren't stopping i will cancel our membership.and start divorce proceedings ......one more thing i want you to to sch. a meeting with a marrage counselor for us to talk about your planned trip to Blackpool !!!!! "...stlcris
I don't like any story
Where a single page is considered a chapter. Get on with it. He already has physical evidence. Don't go all tea-sipping cuckold pussy and ruin what is a pretty good, though boilerplate, story. Please.
She is definitely in a relationship with this guy and maybe two of them. He knows she fucked him and is lying so why wait or so he knows and wants one more time to follow for the pictures he needs while confronting her. He's letting her do something she loves and he's not good at so she betrays him. Also no other man picks up my wife , she should be driving herself. I'm to jealous for any of it and at the mention of a trip away that would of been a no even without suspicion. Curious to see where you take it . Would like him to have proof to show kids and family and friends of her betrayal. It would be hard to hit the guy being he's much older
don't get your hopes up for chapter 2
this author is just another brit cuck.
Well written
Would rather a longer chsptet, but will have to wait. Me I would have confronted her in the bedroom
He will end as cuckold as always!!! MINUS 5*!!!
What is that crap for? Cuckolding isn`t a theme to trip somebody out!! Its lame and pathetic!! Only real brain sick people are in cuckolding sharing or swapping!! I look for the next chapter but fear that`s the same crap as always!!
What about the panties?
If he's looking for evidence, why didn't hang on to the panties? Better yet, why didn't he take the panties and shove them in her face an ask her to explain the smell. He should know what she smells like after 20 years.
Hopefully btb
Hopefully you will make this a btb story.
Good Start***
Thanks for sharing.
OH=O THE WOOD PILE IS FILLING UP
tip-tap and boog-a-loo is coming to chop, TK U MLJ LV NV
Interesting
Okay let's see what he does. I'm hoping for the best.
no rating.....yet
Thoughts
“I had zoned out after hearing how good he was over and over, maybe that was why I had turned up to check him out.” – This is unnecessarily confusing. I can figure out that you turned up after hearing how good he was, but it almost seems like you turned up because you zoned out!
“That agreement had worked fine until recently when Linda started to become more involved with her love of dancing.” – I’m a little confused – is her getting “more involved” impinging on their time together?
I agree, editing is needed, and why not hold onto the panties?
“I needed irrefutable proof” – Panties smelling of what must be semen isn’t enough? At least save them and get them tested!
He got home at 9:30, so the dancing ended sometime before that, but she doesn’t get home till almost midnight! What does he need, a written confession?
He HAS to insist on going on the trip!
Further Thoughts
If you didn't like this chapter, don't bother with chapter 2!
There were only two half-way realistic ways for this to have gone -
1) Walk across the dance floor to his wife and let her know he is there! Pull her away from George and reclaim his territory. If he is halfway capable, HE dances the rest of the evening with her. If he does allow other men to dance with her, it will be with the knowledge that he is watching them! When the dancing is over he takes her home and makes it VERY clear that that he doesn't approve with how her partners got overly familiar with her, and henceforth she will only go out dancing when he can accompany her, unless and until he can be reassured that only dancing goes on! It would make this a very short story, LOL!
2) He goes home as written here, but take the panties into the bedroom and shove them in her face and ask her whose cum is in them, and he hopes she washed it all out of her cunt! When she tries denying tell her he was there and he KNOWS she left the club before 9:30 yet didn't get home till midnight! IF he (and she) want to save the marriage, similar to above, except that she can either confess to what happened, or he can have the panties tested to prove that the semen is from another man, and seal them in a plastic bag. Again, a short story.
Don't agree with these guys who want to "see where it goes".
It had already gone too far. So what if he tips his hand by shutting it down right then. Obviously she is doing at least two of the guys in the dance party and just as obviously the rest of the dancers know about it. So nothing to save here and nothing to gain by letting it go on. She has every right to screw anyone she wants, her body, her choice. He has every right to let her do it as a single person, although I would make sure she needed to get another partner. Her choice sure, but a thief needs to be shown the error of his/their ways. Dancing has always just been foreplay anyhow. Except hip-hop, I guess that's birth control.
very good
you got the sickos all riled up.
just like these stories, she is cheating by her actions even if she has not been laid. Confront her and divorce her .
stone cold
I agree with sbrooks option 2 confront her now with the panties etc. . End it now , one way or the other. Any other way is just avoiding the inevitable.
Way behind the curve here; in terms of a timely comment
Author is doing a first rate job winding up the Loving Wife habitues ( of which I am one ). We'll see shortly how the potential is paid off. Much mayhem looming on horizon.
Full marks * * * * *
By This Point Of The Story
More details should be given. This was definitely not a good point to break your story. Far too many variables unaccounted for. At this point, I personally, find the story lacking in so many areas. I can only hope that my interest increases during Chapter 2 or I will not still be around for Chapter 3. The best I can give you is 3-stars.
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