by CyranoJ
Thanks! I too find disclaimers and "author'" notes pretentious.
"Okay, so something I maybe should have mentioned earlier. The story is kind of a work in progress? There isn't actually anything for you to read right now."
Cyrano, this is absolutely hilarious. Well done, well executed, I have nothing but five stars for you sir! :)
I don't think I have ever wanted to read a story more than this one. Sounds like it's gonna be EPIC! lol. The daddy issues part in particular sounds fascinating.
I have a problem keeping my disclaimers as short as yours. Good job cutting it right down to the bone.
I particularly can't wait for all the 'measurements' - it makes my day! ;)
Copious tears of laughter from a fan of actual author notes.
Bravo.
And say hi to your dad for me.
I have often argued that the separation between good and great writing (and this is true for poetry, prose, song lyrics, and film writing) is in getting the right details.
In this particular case, I have to say (and I suspect that this is the first and only time the following sentence ever appears in Literotica):
"Andre Gide" is what did it for me.
Great writing, needless to say. Thanks for posting.
Many thanks to the "Andre Gide" fan, your comment made my day!
... every time I write a disclaimer from now on and realize that anything I may attempt by way of humor will absolutely pale by way of comparison. And what can I say, André Gide. Wonderful. And Vorkosigan. ROTFLMAO.
Doubly pleased to see someone catch the Vorkosigan ref. :)
...and I'll leave it to your imagination to finish the title. Kind of like what you did with the Centaurian Slug story teaser.
The "concrete poetry" was what ultimately did me in. Almost peed my panties when I got to that part. Of course, I had swallowed a load of sweet tea prior to reading. Still, I'm pretty sure said near incontinence was due to your caused hilarity. Yeah, going with that. 'Cause I need to
Well done. Very. Though I'm sure you knew that already. Still...
~Nova
Your reply made me laugh, too, so fair play. :) Glad you read and thanks for commenting.
Just realized I hadn't acknowledged your comment yet. Much appreciated.
Writing well is hard to do. Writing funny is really, really difficult. Your writing was funny and clever and you made it look easy.
Your compliment for the writing is much appreciated. Glad you enjoyed!
I’ve been masturbating to this disclaimer for three days straight and the only intergalactic sex tourist to show up had strawberry sex organs. Of course, I only found this out by going into anaphylactic shock in the middle of cunnilingus. Allergies, you see.
Allergies are just the worst, aren't they? Thanks for reading. :)
I do not want to plagerize so I would like to refrence your disclamer advising my readers to subtitute in the following ways:
In place of bust size detailed discriptions of eye color
In place of alien girls maybe slave girls
In place of missing father figure .... No change there that is universal but add dick wilting harpy mother in the mix.
In place of movie stars use musical stars
In place of didlos use my cloned dick
Change chaper refrences to volume refrences (also as yet unwritten)
Adding other changes as needed.
On second thought I am not going to ask permission.
Sounds just fine, LaBesse. You go!
(Ye Gods, your comment is from January. I haven't checked back here in far too long.)
I had stop reading this five times, so I could clear the tears of laughter. Never thought I would see something this hilarious on Literotica.
That's the kind of compliment I really appreciate, Salacious_Scribe. Adams really was the master. Honored to be mentioned in the same frame.
Dear Cyrano,
I'm not bald. I'm "Folically Challenged."
My lawyers will be in touch.
Sincerely,
Barry. The dick downstairs.