When a story begins with: "I have been married to my husband/wife for 16 wonderful years. It has been nothing short of magnificent, our love gets better and better as each day passes. There isn't a better husband/wife or father/mother on this planet", we know it's all bullshit and soon there will be cheating, disrespect and after all no love at all...So this was the case! The cheating, the no remorse and finally letting her husband lick her still dirty with her lover sperm...What a friendly wife! This man doesn't need enemies! His wife is enough to destroy him! And she rely on her lover to stay mute about it, just for laughs! he is young and soon will be bragging about it and maybe even bringing friends to fuck her and be payed for it! 1*
by
Anonymous10/29/16
more prove
that pigs can write
by
Anonymous10/29/16
POV
The story is written from the wife's point of view, but the sex reads too much like a male fantasy, pilfered from porn films.
This may not be so bad if it is indeed a male fantasy, in which case it is a cuckold fantasy .. in other words, don't blame the bitch wife because she's only doing exactly what the husband fantasizes about.
When Anna answered the door in an empty house would most likely ask who is there or look out peep hole. She was seduced far too easy and did things for Kevin that she refused to do for husband. Then lays around sweaty and dried juices all over mid section stinking of old sex for two days. She can think of morning after pill but can't be showered and douched for husband. Even though she admits how hot she got giving blow job she still refuses husband wish but lets husband eat her defiled and possibly std infected pussy. She believes that Kevin being an alpha teenage male won't let it slip lol. Anba is already addicted to this punk and is ready for his return and if he makes very many trips she will loosen up and there will be more problems. The one I feel sorry for is Annas son once this comes to the light, she will lose whole family for a few hours of sex.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
Starting in a Tough Category
For a first story its well written however you do realize you are starting in a tough category. There are lots of trolls that read this category, why I don't know, who believe a story should be either a Harlequin romance theme or scorched earth policy for the wife. You will need tough skin or maybe turn your comments off.
This looked like it was written by a 14 yr old boy.
The line "he saw my vagina" made me laugh, what 40 yr old woman calls it a vagina? And to "forget" she was gong commando?
Don't write from a woman's perspective because you can't, you have no idea how they think or act. Instead write what you know, get an editor to help, maybe take in a creative writing class to help.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
Good Story
Many women have this fantasy.Here tho if its not a Burn the bitch story the gay female haters will not like it and will let you know.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
More cucky shit
You fag . stop writing and eat a used condom ya full on fag
by
Anonymous10/29/16
Good story
MJR
If you are going to write in this category you need to have a thick skin as the readers are populated with sado maochists. First, they read something they don't like then they try to hurt the author with their criticism: sado masochists. At one time there were many more fine writers in this category but the trolls have driven many off. What I don't understand is reading is free and voluntary so if you don't like it don't read it. Of course that thought process applies to me also since I have written this before and continue writing it even though I know it will do no good.
This was basically a good story except for: 1) You should not have had the husband eat her dried cum filled pussy. That just doesn't go over well at all in this category. 2) Make the sex act more descriptive...much more descriptive. eg. Tell how she feels when he touches her, kisses her, and strokes her pussy with his dick...almost stroke per stroke for the first few times at least. Then tell how she feels and reacts as she climaxes...have her scream and yell out for him to fuck her harder and faster. 5* anyway for a good 1st story.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
Nice short story
Often women tease son's friends with cleavage and upskirts. They get a thrill turning young guys on. Sometimes it goes much further.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
Instant seduction - Really?
This "story" should have started "Once upon a time ......"
This is a neat little story, for a first try. Read everything you can about creative writing, consider the constructive criticism offered by the other excellent writers on this site, and above all ignore those who seem to desire the destruction of this category.
BTW, Laurel has almost allowed them to destroy her excellent site. A quick check shows that in the last two days only 9 new stories have been posted to LW while 20 seems to have been posted to Taboo. Also there are a lot of red Hs in those 20 stories while I think there was only 1 H in LW. A few of us writers keep pointing out the self-defeating path all of us are on, but it falls on deaf ears.
Oh well—on to comments about your story. We readers want to be able to suspend belief, or dis-belief, whichever the case may be, but the bottom line is, we want to identify, if only for the short time we’re reading, with the characters in the story. In order to make it easier for us, the characters should act as close to real life as possible.
For instance, if a reader identifies with Anna they quickly realize they are an inconsiderate bitch; for only a bitch would behave such as Anna does if indeed she was in a good marriage. True, you did have her depressed so we can conclude things were NOT all aces in her marriage, but you claim otherwise.
Suppose Anna had been looking forward to a trip out of town with her husband and instead Hubby decided to go hunting. Suppose this wasn’t the first time Hubby had put something he wanted above her desires. Suppose things hadn’t been going very well in the bedroom. (Yes, Charlotte, even normally happy, healthy couples have those off times.) Now we have a frustrated wife who is much more likely to act as Anna did, even though I don’t think Anna would be such an easy first time cheater. I think the horny young teenager would have to work harder before arriving in the Promised Land.
Anyway, I hope you see what I’m trying to get across, even if you don’t agree. After all, I’m sure my advice is worth every penny it cost you. Good Luck with your writing—thecarolinadreamer.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
If you love your husband there are several things wrong with this shit.
Hopefully hubbie finds out and takes care of the slut and the punk and finds a real wife.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
Now tell me you don't belive in Martians.
Slut ray story number 8,571, but who's counting.
I can understand the ambition to be a writer, but I can't understand you starting out so blatantly formulaic and stupid. If you think that telling the next chic you meet at a party that you're a published internet porn author will make her more interested in you, you need your meds changed. You have no originality, you have no wit or imagination, and you obviously just copy whatever other people do that you think works. It doesn't. This plot is not just predictable and boring, its been done so often that we don't even need to read your version to know how it proceeds, and ends.
OK, now prove me wrong. I'd love it. But I'm pretty sure you can't.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
People like the last commenter telling you that this story is predictable and boring will be foaming at the mouth defending the predictable and boring pattern of the next btb story. Then he'll have the nerve to yell at Swinger Joe for posting the exact comment that he did on this story.
Ignore the asshats. If they could do better, they would.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
To The Last Commenter...
Did you read the story? I cant tell because all you posted was about another persons opinion.Their comment!!! Pretty troll like if you ask me but..... As for this story it was a.little formulaic and it never really gave any reason or indication why a wife who LOVED her husband so much would suddenly decide to fuck a teenager.No sense
by
Anonymous10/29/16
This cunt needs to die
Of AIDS.
by
Anonymous10/29/16
No he husband did not
Send him, so don't try that ending. She cheated, either her husband is a wimp and she is a slut as expected. Or Kevin is the subject of the next hunt and she is an Ex-Wife.
"Many women have this fantasy" and "Many women get a thrill". Oh yeah. I think we know who has this fantasy and who gets a thrill, and it's not the women.
by
Anonymous10/30/16
Good story
Keep it up and do not worry about the neanderthal morons who would get turned away from Isis for being to extreme.
There are many people who comment (and write) in the section who only want to see women suffer and the worse they suffer the happier the morons are, best to totally ignore them .
Please continue .
So she fucks her sons friend and possibly ruined her marriage and her son's friendship. And she let her husband eat her pussy with another man's cum in it? But she's supposed to love and care for this man? He should divorce her and find another chick. If she's doing this kind of stuff, what else?
by
Anonymous10/31/16
Great story
I do not know why people write hateful comments on these stories if you do not like the "loving wives" category then why read it. These are the same people who probably have no issues with husbands cheating. I enjoyed your story and hope you continue with it. Thank you for taking the time to write and post this story in this site. Sincerely Michael
by
Anonymous10/31/16
And whats that crap for?? MINUS 5*!!!
A slut who cheats on her husband by a teen and got the best sex in her life??!! Idiotic!! Why not divorce her husband and she is free to get the sex she want?? Now she has to live with the knowledge that she is a cheap cheater who gave away things that she refused her husband!! Whats that a living be?? But you arbitrate that cheating is normal and cheater are wellcome in your life!!! Only real brain sick people or perverts think and react like you!!!
As innocent as it was, the long t-shirt no panties thinking it was just her neighbor friend. Taking a turn of the unexpected! I could imagine the excitement of finding herself almost naked with her sons friend at the door. Nice job of bringing her feelings and desires out. And also don't worry about "the insecure anonymous " that person thinks everyone should get a divorce. The comments from this anonymous are pretty much the same, for every story.
by
Anonymous11/01/16
Giving the teenager a blowjob
It sounds like you plan on cheating again with the teenager or whoever. And you let your husband eat you with Kevin com in you and I think you planned on your husband doing it to you then you should give your husband blow jobs remember he is super to b we the love of your life. Thank you for your story. Bigdave122163@gmail.com
Other than a few grammatical errors I found it to be pretty good. I hope you re-read your work before sending it in next time. As for the storyline it all sounded plausible. I found myself disappointed not to have more to read. Keep at it, you're doing fine.
Why do annonymous people read this stuff if all they are going to do is make negative comments. Constructive feedback is what we want.
The choice is theirs. I like the story, my only comment is that it didn't seem real, maybe a little hurried, but never the less very erotic.
Is always a better option for weekend fucking.
My friend Parag has also made love and royal fucking to my mom and made her energetic.
He also did what my father could not and that's is anal sex.
Inaugurating the matured ass is best, he told me after their first anal sex and I was surprised when he told it was with my mom.
by
Anonymous12/04/16
I like this
But I hope you make POV on Kevin side..
by
Anonymous01/12/17
BITCH
I just hate bitches who'd make their "loving" husband eat some other guys cum. There's no love there, just humiliation and disrespect. Yeah, I love the BTB stories. And this slut should be tied to stake and eaten alive by fire ants in her good old Texas home state.
English
BTB
Better Burn The Bitch.
s
great story, more chapter please
When a story begins with...
When a story begins with: "I have been married to my husband/wife for 16 wonderful years. It has been nothing short of magnificent, our love gets better and better as each day passes. There isn't a better husband/wife or father/mother on this planet", we know it's all bullshit and soon there will be cheating, disrespect and after all no love at all...So this was the case! The cheating, the no remorse and finally letting her husband lick her still dirty with her lover sperm...What a friendly wife! This man doesn't need enemies! His wife is enough to destroy him! And she rely on her lover to stay mute about it, just for laughs! he is young and soon will be bragging about it and maybe even bringing friends to fuck her and be payed for it! 1*
more prove
that pigs can write
POV
The story is written from the wife's point of view, but the sex reads too much like a male fantasy, pilfered from porn films.
This may not be so bad if it is indeed a male fantasy, in which case it is a cuckold fantasy .. in other words, don't blame the bitch wife because she's only doing exactly what the husband fantasizes about.
Enjoyes the story
It was a good story for first time. Keep writing.
Marriage circling the drain
When Anna answered the door in an empty house would most likely ask who is there or look out peep hole. She was seduced far too easy and did things for Kevin that she refused to do for husband. Then lays around sweaty and dried juices all over mid section stinking of old sex for two days. She can think of morning after pill but can't be showered and douched for husband. Even though she admits how hot she got giving blow job she still refuses husband wish but lets husband eat her defiled and possibly std infected pussy. She believes that Kevin being an alpha teenage male won't let it slip lol. Anba is already addicted to this punk and is ready for his return and if he makes very many trips she will loosen up and there will be more problems. The one I feel sorry for is Annas son once this comes to the light, she will lose whole family for a few hours of sex.
Starting in a Tough Category
For a first story its well written however you do realize you are starting in a tough category. There are lots of trolls that read this category, why I don't know, who believe a story should be either a Harlequin romance theme or scorched earth policy for the wife. You will need tough skin or maybe turn your comments off.
This looked like it was written by a 14 yr old boy.
The line "he saw my vagina" made me laugh, what 40 yr old woman calls it a vagina? And to "forget" she was gong commando?
Don't write from a woman's perspective because you can't, you have no idea how they think or act. Instead write what you know, get an editor to help, maybe take in a creative writing class to help.
Good Story
Many women have this fantasy.Here tho if its not a Burn the bitch story the gay female haters will not like it and will let you know.
More cucky shit
You fag . stop writing and eat a used condom ya full on fag
Good story
MJR
If you are going to write in this category you need to have a thick skin as the readers are populated with sado maochists. First, they read something they don't like then they try to hurt the author with their criticism: sado masochists. At one time there were many more fine writers in this category but the trolls have driven many off. What I don't understand is reading is free and voluntary so if you don't like it don't read it. Of course that thought process applies to me also since I have written this before and continue writing it even though I know it will do no good.
anon.1
Good story!
This was basically a good story except for: 1) You should not have had the husband eat her dried cum filled pussy. That just doesn't go over well at all in this category. 2) Make the sex act more descriptive...much more descriptive. eg. Tell how she feels when he touches her, kisses her, and strokes her pussy with his dick...almost stroke per stroke for the first few times at least. Then tell how she feels and reacts as she climaxes...have her scream and yell out for him to fuck her harder and faster. 5* anyway for a good 1st story.
Nice short story
Often women tease son's friends with cleavage and upskirts. They get a thrill turning young guys on. Sometimes it goes much further.
Instant seduction - Really?
This "story" should have started "Once upon a time ......"
FOUR STARS FOR FIRST EFFORT!
This is a neat little story, for a first try. Read everything you can about creative writing, consider the constructive criticism offered by the other excellent writers on this site, and above all ignore those who seem to desire the destruction of this category.
BTW, Laurel has almost allowed them to destroy her excellent site. A quick check shows that in the last two days only 9 new stories have been posted to LW while 20 seems to have been posted to Taboo. Also there are a lot of red Hs in those 20 stories while I think there was only 1 H in LW. A few of us writers keep pointing out the self-defeating path all of us are on, but it falls on deaf ears.
Oh well—on to comments about your story. We readers want to be able to suspend belief, or dis-belief, whichever the case may be, but the bottom line is, we want to identify, if only for the short time we’re reading, with the characters in the story. In order to make it easier for us, the characters should act as close to real life as possible.
For instance, if a reader identifies with Anna they quickly realize they are an inconsiderate bitch; for only a bitch would behave such as Anna does if indeed she was in a good marriage. True, you did have her depressed so we can conclude things were NOT all aces in her marriage, but you claim otherwise.
Suppose Anna had been looking forward to a trip out of town with her husband and instead Hubby decided to go hunting. Suppose this wasn’t the first time Hubby had put something he wanted above her desires. Suppose things hadn’t been going very well in the bedroom. (Yes, Charlotte, even normally happy, healthy couples have those off times.) Now we have a frustrated wife who is much more likely to act as Anna did, even though I don’t think Anna would be such an easy first time cheater. I think the horny young teenager would have to work harder before arriving in the Promised Land.
Anyway, I hope you see what I’m trying to get across, even if you don’t agree. After all, I’m sure my advice is worth every penny it cost you. Good Luck with your writing—thecarolinadreamer.
If you love your husband there are several things wrong with this shit.
Hopefully hubbie finds out and takes care of the slut and the punk and finds a real wife.
Now tell me you don't belive in Martians.
Slut ray story number 8,571, but who's counting.
I can understand the ambition to be a writer, but I can't understand you starting out so blatantly formulaic and stupid. If you think that telling the next chic you meet at a party that you're a published internet porn author will make her more interested in you, you need your meds changed. You have no originality, you have no wit or imagination, and you obviously just copy whatever other people do that you think works. It doesn't. This plot is not just predictable and boring, its been done so often that we don't even need to read your version to know how it proceeds, and ends.
OK, now prove me wrong. I'd love it. But I'm pretty sure you can't.
People like the last commenter telling you that this story is predictable and boring will be foaming at the mouth defending the predictable and boring pattern of the next btb story. Then he'll have the nerve to yell at Swinger Joe for posting the exact comment that he did on this story.
Ignore the asshats. If they could do better, they would.
To The Last Commenter...
Did you read the story? I cant tell because all you posted was about another persons opinion.Their comment!!! Pretty troll like if you ask me but..... As for this story it was a.little formulaic and it never really gave any reason or indication why a wife who LOVED her husband so much would suddenly decide to fuck a teenager.No sense
This cunt needs to die
Of AIDS.
No he husband did not
Send him, so don't try that ending. She cheated, either her husband is a wimp and she is a slut as expected. Or Kevin is the subject of the next hunt and she is an Ex-Wife.
To the Anonymous
"Many women have this fantasy" and "Many women get a thrill". Oh yeah. I think we know who has this fantasy and who gets a thrill, and it's not the women.
Good story
Keep it up and do not worry about the neanderthal morons who would get turned away from Isis for being to extreme.
There are many people who comment (and write) in the section who only want to see women suffer and the worse they suffer the happier the morons are, best to totally ignore them .
Please continue .
1*
cuck shit.
Loved it!
Looking forward to chapter 02.
Not good.
So she fucks her sons friend and possibly ruined her marriage and her son's friendship. And she let her husband eat her pussy with another man's cum in it? But she's supposed to love and care for this man? He should divorce her and find another chick. If she's doing this kind of stuff, what else?
Great story
I do not know why people write hateful comments on these stories if you do not like the "loving wives" category then why read it. These are the same people who probably have no issues with husbands cheating. I enjoyed your story and hope you continue with it. Thank you for taking the time to write and post this story in this site. Sincerely Michael
And whats that crap for?? MINUS 5*!!!
A slut who cheats on her husband by a teen and got the best sex in her life??!! Idiotic!! Why not divorce her husband and she is free to get the sex she want?? Now she has to live with the knowledge that she is a cheap cheater who gave away things that she refused her husband!! Whats that a living be?? But you arbitrate that cheating is normal and cheater are wellcome in your life!!! Only real brain sick people or perverts think and react like you!!!
Interesting Story...
As innocent as it was, the long t-shirt no panties thinking it was just her neighbor friend. Taking a turn of the unexpected! I could imagine the excitement of finding herself almost naked with her sons friend at the door. Nice job of bringing her feelings and desires out. And also don't worry about "the insecure anonymous " that person thinks everyone should get a divorce. The comments from this anonymous are pretty much the same, for every story.
Giving the teenager a blowjob
It sounds like you plan on cheating again with the teenager or whoever. And you let your husband eat you with Kevin com in you and I think you planned on your husband doing it to you then you should give your husband blow jobs remember he is super to b we the love of your life. Thank you for your story. Bigdave122163@gmail.com
Good read
Other than a few grammatical errors I found it to be pretty good. I hope you re-read your work before sending it in next time. As for the storyline it all sounded plausible. I found myself disappointed not to have more to read. Keep at it, you're doing fine.
I like your story
Why do annonymous people read this stuff if all they are going to do is make negative comments. Constructive feedback is what we want.
The choice is theirs. I like the story, my only comment is that it didn't seem real, maybe a little hurried, but never the less very erotic.
son's friend
Is always a better option for weekend fucking.
My friend Parag has also made love and royal fucking to my mom and made her energetic.
He also did what my father could not and that's is anal sex.
Inaugurating the matured ass is best, he told me after their first anal sex and I was surprised when he told it was with my mom.
I like this
But I hope you make POV on Kevin side..
BITCH
I just hate bitches who'd make their "loving" husband eat some other guys cum. There's no love there, just humiliation and disrespect. Yeah, I love the BTB stories. And this slut should be tied to stake and eaten alive by fire ants in her good old Texas home state.
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