"In Cold Blood" Pt. 01

THE TWILIGHT ZONE

FAN BLOODY TASTIC! STORY! Wow I didn't see that coming. "BUT" this is only part one! Can't wait for part 2&3. Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

Something new here...

Yeah, Lyrica can do strange things and using it for the basis of an internal dream sequence is new on Lit. to my knowledge. The back story was largely unnecessary and boring. In many of these types of stories the wronged husband immediately jumps to conclusions and throws his wife out and won't let her explain or even talk at all. He never loses control, never acts rashly, and is the very model of probity, except for throwing his wife overboard like a used Kleenex. Oh, and her parents are invariably sympathetic with him, too. Perhaps this type of story is therapeutic for men who have been cheated on by a wife. One has to wonder, though, if he ever really loved her.

Thank***

For the read.

Well it certainly raised my hackles for awhile before I caught on

But how hard is that ? Sigh. carvohi seems to have trolled me. He's just a trolling bastard and I want my money back or else I'm reporting him to Amazon. So refund me NOW ! .....Oh ....Never mind. Sigh.

Funny Thing

The way the mind works is a funny thing. We live extremely subjective lives, each of us trapped in our heads. Because we only really experience our own view of reality, we assume everyone else has the same view of reality. We think that everyone else thinks the same way we do. So, if you would never cheat on your spouse it is hard to imagine that they would cheat on you. Unfortunately this is not the case, people lie, cheat, steal and murder all the time. Just because you won't do it, doesn't mean they wont.
Another funny thing is the way our minds work when it comes to dreams. Dreams are often the fragments of our reality that were not easily processed. Like piece of a jigsaw puzzle that don't quite fit. They don't fit because the puzzle you are working on is not the one you thought you were doing. When you are done with it, the picture is often a surprise.

Like the first read too.

I'm one of those that read the first version. This one reads the same just better constructed. I think I see where this s going. Sometimes dreams have a way of alerting you to real problem's you don't want to face. He's had some issues with his wife that finally triggered the dream that she really is cheating on him.
Well if I'm wrong I hope where ever your going wth this it stays as good as the start.5*

I liked it but it can go different ways...

I liked it but it can go different ways...The medicine may have triggered his mind to connect some clues he had deep in him and never thought they were important or that mattered...If that was the case than this can go only one way...In the end it's not the way that is important, but how he will deal with it...For now it's a good read and let us in suspense...3* for now

3*s BUT IT WAS A DREAM, TRUMAN.

Nice enough first part. Sure glad I only paid.... oh never mind.
Must you copy Capote, for the title? I don't know if it's hubris or ignorance. Are you telegraphing a violent finish 💔🔪❓
I'm not familiar with Lyrica but figured it is similar to Ambien.
Gave you 3*s. This ending was very abrupt and probably unnecessary. I mean just post all 10 or 12 pages.
Thanks for the story Carvohi. Good effort.


AMerryman

You're kidding, right?

If you're gonna drag out the dusty old "It was a dream" shit you gotta do it in the middle of a chapter. Doing it at the end of one makes it WAY too easy for me to quit wasting my time.

THIS WAS FINE

It's an interesting read. I am not looking for a sex filled romp from every story out here. The strange dream twist did catch me by surprise.

Despite a great beginning, I quit reading when he kicked her out.

It's their house and by kicking her out, he set himself up for a very ugly divorce, one that could end with him in prison for abuse. If he wants to leave, fine, the law allows for that; but to make her leave? That can be considered assault and that never ends well.

As for the ending that it's a dream? Whatever. That's been done to death. Nothing new here, nothing to see, move along.

No Score Yet

I'm usually a carvohi fan, and I'm one of those who read this when it was up before.

I don't remember if it was labeled Ch 1 then, but I remember feeling cheated that everything we went through was "just a dream."

I'm withholding score until I see the entire story.

fucking booo

you cant post the complete story for what reason?

Before

Some one said this has been done before, well has not most things we watch or read. Many police dramas and thrillers on tv, cinema has rehashed Shasperian plots, very little is new so why the criticism?.

One stupid story for this site

Can't you get it that this is an erotic web site, not for showing how dickless you got after being cuckolded.

A very interesting start to this story. 5*, of course

It's got the trolls rattling their chains, so that's one way of seeing how good a story is.

Just went in a circle and came back to where it started

Which is nowhere.

In effect, there was no point to this story.

Just a dream. Nothing actually happened. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Well a few changes

Hope this time we get the other two parts. Good start didn't need the changes but go for it. Lot of aurthers dropping their part ones lately what's up with DAT?

Well, there you go again.

You've written a well paced and interesting story that could be plausible. Dreams are sometimes said to be a window into our subconscious so his mind putting things together and connecting some heretofore unconnected dots is a good way to advance the plot. And, once again, you force me to sit on the edge of my seat waiting for the next installment. Darn you Carvohi. (I don't do lol, so ha ha) Anyhow, thanks for sharing your story with us and of course your talent. Seriously, I do look forward to the next installment.

pappy

I only got the first page before

I went to page two and it didn't exist. Damn was that frustrating. I read these stories for the drama and emotion. Waiting for chapter two.
JimC

Oh we few we happy few..

I've got my own private 'fan'. Here's his latest private email to me.

"Fuck you fucking faggot wimp. Put a gun in your mouth so no one has to read your over long cuck shit any more."

He usually advises me he's coming to have intercourse with my wife or send some big black person to rape her. He's already posted an anonymous comment above this one. He's alleged he killed wife. Well I respect all people - even him.

I'm praying you. You should try church, maybe you'll find solace there. (That's not sarcasm.) I do wish you'd stick to the stories; the personal invective is a little trite.

With love,

Jedd Clampett

P.S. You really aren't required to read my over long cuck stories.

Not bad. 5 Stars for a very clean start!

I hope there's sex in the next chapter and that the story gets more painful. I like the direction so far!

It just kind of left me flat.

All through the story something just seemed to be missing. I can't really tell you what but it just seemed flat to me. The ending clinched it. I think it would have been better if you had ended the story just before he woke up and started chapter 2 that way.

Your insight into what's going to happen at the mall with "things are not always as they seem" is too revealing already. I'm pretty confident that future chapters will reveal everything he dreamed to be true.

I gave this chapter 3 stars and I'm moderately interested in the second chapter but if it's what I think, I doubt I will be reading past it.

Like the 9th Season of "Dallas"

should we disregard?

I really hope a lot of your fans enjoyed this one, so far, but this did not work for me, at all.

So you drag us through a ridiculous dream about a total dumb-shit sports freak, describing with great skill what a pathetic self-centered clueless husband he is, and I guess that is supposed to be a setup for what follows. So what do you want to bet that after chapter 3 I can go back through chapter 1 and find maybe 10% of that bullshit has anything to do with the story that follows? Do you get paid by the word? You seem like a decent guy, give the money back. If you wrote this for free, you overcharged us.

Hint: your comment about the commenter who wants to rape you and/or kill you, and your wife (and your dog?), was more interesting and fun to read than the tedious obnoxious drivel of 3 pages (3!) of chapter 1. I know, this is not much help.

But I went to your bio page and see you've been writing a lot for a long time, so what is there for me to say that you don't already know? So I have to think what you wrote here is exactly what you intended, including its affect on most readers. And your struggling to get a rating of 4? This is at best a 3, so far. But I will wait to rate once I can judge the entire work. But if you end up making this guy suck strange cum out of his wife's snatch, or getting fucked over by the entire community cause he walks around with his head up his ass, then I will find out where you live and get a ringside seat when that black murderer/rapist finally wreaks the vengeance that you will justly deserve. Or at least I won't read any more of your future stories, probably.

Had Me Wondering

"Wow, cavohi's women don't usually have that many dudes." "Oh. Dream. Ok, he still spins a good yarn." So yes, will read sequels.

DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES

sometimes all prove true, TK U MLJ LV NV

Hmmm, dont know what to make of this

The tension was building, then it became somewhat farcical when her widespread infidelity that included his brothers came to light, but then the whole dream thing...I dont know how this will play out. It is definitely different from your normal stuff, which I typically enjoy.

Hey' This is different way to go I like it!!!!!

Dumb cuckold husband blaming trash. Wimp husband just takes the blame for his wife being the town whore. Sad that anyone can write this or get off to it.

Not worth reading any more from Mr Cuck here any more. Why don't you go the fuck away like you promised?

Typical liberal fucktard shit, claiming to be threatened and harassed to get sympathy. Like some dumb cunt crying rape or death threats to protect her PC shit. I bet that's your next claim, claiming your cheating cunt wife is being raped to excuse taking her back to eat cum from her snatch.

Well I guess . . .

. . . an interesting approach to story telling. How much of the first two and a half pages is true and how much fantasy? I would guess that if this is a three part affair the next chapter will only muddy the mind further. My best guess is the last chapter will be the barn burner that gets to somewhere. Good start.

so the switch in plot destroyed the story for me, to bad you have to serial stories

2* I started interested but lost it

Nice Twist

I thought it was a nice twist but, man, some people just can't take a joke, can they?

Is this supposed to be funny?

Didn't work.

Wow the LE intellectuals are out on this one!

I gave it four stars. Well written, great twist. We almost know where we're going with this but waiting and contemplating possibilities is half the fun. Thanks Carbonite. We've been in a literary drought and I've been rereading old material out of boredom.

Nice start, more please

5 star start, good storyline. I like it xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Annette

If I was looking to get married and the girl I propos d said she wanted to back pack Europe alone then stay in California with a girl she met would mean she was 99% fucking other guys with this experience she needed. What would her response had been if he said we'll settle down after I travel alone in Europe and California for a while. Trust is hard as it is when the high percentage of married people who are supposedly a loving couple are fucking others anyway. It just would souls like the person was looking to sow their oats . Trips like that would be great to experience with the person you love so way go alone when the other wants to get married

Fucking stupid

But I should have known better to read this from this writer

Dream?

Yikes, a dream story. How unoriginal. I might not bother to read the rest of the series when they come out.

I like the twist....

Interesting read and plot direction.
Looking forward to further installments.

Unusual. ......

I was really starting to feel sorry for the poor husband as his wife was doing nearly everyone he knew, and he wakes up from dream ....lol

its amazing

Carvohi goes out of his way to write a story that features an inept stupid dumb fuck loser husband-- and then suddenly its all a dream

Dreams?

Hardly an original idea, but I'll keep reading

One detail doesn't make sense....

I don't understand why an affair between a school teacher and a car salesman would end up making such huge headlines in print and TV news. Makes no sense.

An affair between random people would never even be a blip on the radar as far as news goes. You should have made him a dealership owner, someone with standing in the community, and possibly running for local office or something. Now, THAT would make news.

Maybe a minor thing, but it takes away from the realism of the story. Good start so far, though. Already started reading Ch. 2, and love how the flip-flop that he'd dreamt it all was actually the dream.

euhm this guy isnt just dense but stopid she left him for a baseball player and when and whent back she goes backpacking true europe and get back to goes to California and goes back to him and the idiot is to stopid to think he is just a save haven he had it comming for his stopidity alone sorry but how can you be so fucking naiev

Interesting

You got me. I was feeling really bad for this guy and then boom. He was having a nightmare.

On other hand he is to naive. His girlfriend,now wife walks all over him. She didnt want to marry right away because she needs to travel to Europe (try something new). She dumps him for a "star player" and when she realize he is going nowhere,no big money she calls her puppy back.

Didn't see that coming. Can't wait for the next part

DO DREAMS EVER COME TRUE

if so' prepare for a nightmare TK U MLJ LV NV

I've gotten to really dislike the LW author's practice of hubby refusing to talk

at the big first confrontation. Either hubby won't talk to wifey about what's happening, or he constantly interrupts her. Is this taught as a device to heighten dramatic tension? It only drives me to give up on the story.