Your English is forced and unnatural, you read like one of those Indian writers trying to pass themselves off as American, and it's not working. Do yourself a favor and refrain from writing in English, you can't do it properly and it's really hard work reading you and constantly rewriting you in my head so the narrative makes sense. 1 star because you tired me out and bored the ass off me.
by
Anonymous11/02/16
Ignore the BS from the former poster...
Yes it is noticeable that American English is not your first language. BFD ( Big Fucking Deal), there is one way to learn, and that is to practice. So please keep practicing. The story, though bare in detail is well put together. My advice is to learn more of the language you want to write in, Get a book on different words to use... Synonym finder, and try the different variations to see what tells the story the best way. Good Luck and Keep Writing
Myhands316
English
Write in your own language
Your English is forced and unnatural, you read like one of those Indian writers trying to pass themselves off as American, and it's not working. Do yourself a favor and refrain from writing in English, you can't do it properly and it's really hard work reading you and constantly rewriting you in my head so the narrative makes sense. 1 star because you tired me out and bored the ass off me.
Ignore the BS from the former poster...
Yes it is noticeable that American English is not your first language. BFD ( Big Fucking Deal), there is one way to learn, and that is to practice. So please keep practicing. The story, though bare in detail is well put together. My advice is to learn more of the language you want to write in, Get a book on different words to use... Synonym finder, and try the different variations to see what tells the story the best way. Good Luck and Keep Writing
Myhands316
A very yummy story!
I love love stories! And yours is very good! Thank you!
Wonderful story
Thank you for sharing that intimate story with us.
It's well written and your English is better than many on this site.
Well done.
Loving
Very loving story
Wrong Category!
This should be in mature or one of the other cats but NOT in Incest/Taboo
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