"In Cold Blood" Pt. 03

this was(n't) just a dream.

COLD BLOOD.......TOUGH LOVE

the best way to protect your family, TK U MLJ LV NV

Imperfect Characters

The imperfect characters added to the realism. I liked the relationship between him and Lisa, the tension and anger felt real too. I did not care much for him risking Lisa, his, and his unborn child's future for Susan. Apparently Susan's family had plenty of money and could have hired people to extract Susan from the clutches of her pimps. Being a man is more than playing "white knight" to your ego. It is about knowing where your responsibilities lie and protecting your family at all costs. Risking jail for a crazy ex-wife turned whore is not what a responsible father to be would or should do.

Unfortunately, this was a miss for me. Thanks for the effort.

Just bad

Nothin else to say, not up to your usual stuff. I still think you had a reason to post this, and it wasnt just to get another story out, Would love the author's insights into the meaning of the story, the purpose of posting it.

Glad it's over

This series was disappointing. Not good, sorry.

Writing for pleasure !

I didnt get anything out of reading this story, which surprised me because I know good your stories normally are.
You must have been pleased with it or you would never have presented it to us, so I'm glad you, at least, enjoyed it.
Dont be a stranger, come back again soon.

1*

standard carCuck crap.

1 star

Don't give a fuck what happened to the whore. Let her ass be sold on the street.

As @sugna says: they were all "Imperfect Characters"...

As @sugna says: they were all "Imperfect Characters"...Imperfect and with heavy traumas, each for different reasons. Of course her family was rich and could have got a professional team to help them, but they wanted it as low as possible. But in the end you understood that no team was necessary...And as the characters this story has some flaws too, maybe not at @carvohi usual level, but nevertheless a good reading...3*

Standalone

Personally, I thought this could have stood on its own.

I'm going to have to read all three parts together, I'm still a little confused with how it all started.

Looney Land

I used to live on the Eastern Shore, so it's no surprise to me that everyone in this story is nuts. That entire region is wacko. Drive away across the Bay Bridge and you can literally feel the lunacy lifting as you head for civilization.

I think it's something in the water.

what a pussy

lets make her a victim, all women are victims oh my god the horror of being a woman. they cant shit without being a victim. lolololololol
Rip tear goug but ill run to your rescue lolololol
wait wait it gets better they dont know she is divorced and so fucked up they need some men who she shit on to save her.....new wife and kid but wait let me save the cunt......lolololol
you cant rape a whore or save a cunt, or write a story where women are responsible for their actions.....come on fembots save mankind from women.

Thank you.

Long time lurker, first time commenter.
Don't let the assholes dissuade you from writing! I appreciate your stories and the effort and courage required to publish them.

Great ride

Thank you for writing it . Now do a total BTB . Take it to the limits.

Boooooooooooring.

Nothing fucking happens. And he's still a cuck.

Kind of...

... stupid. It was all over the place. No proper plot development. Too much of rambling.

Always great writing....

if life is stranger than fiction this is a righteous story.

Some of you need to stop shooting the messenger and enjoy the ride.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Interesting

The guy sure can pick his women! Don't let the anom trolls get you down. Now finish Revelations!!

Strange story about strange people

Difficult to follow at times. I would have liked the epilogue to include a bit about Roland, but the story is probably more realistic without that. Lisa sure was a strange bird. Lots of stars for imaginative and different; not so many for pacing and coherency.

Not your best

The different chapters didn't really flow well in a cohesive way.

I'm not sure why you added the dream/not a dream switch.

Too improbable that Susan slept with everyone around him for years, and his entire family including parents knew it and no one commented.

Lisa turning from jealous, scarred, S&M fetish girl to non-jealous, vanilla, girl next door again (in private) in one scene was odd.

Roland was sort of a MacGuffin.

Good writing, but again not your best. Thanks for offering it up though

DONT...

Let the anonymous bastards get you down... please.

More Detail

Would have been good to read what happened to susan when she left, like how did she fell into the pimps hands,

Freaky, weird and scary but entertaining.

Really curious about Roland and Susan. She has obviously been mentally ill for a very long time. He has an interesting story as well.

Hmmm

Well great writing skill
I think it was a very sad tale.
Were any of them normal?

What a huddle!!! MINUS 5*!!!

Seldom i read a grater crap!!!

A lot of unanswered questions in this story

Susan, how was she pimped out, how was she taken, what happened after her rescue. Still a sick whore.

This story reminds me of soup.....

Chicken Noodle Soup but without the chicken or the noodles.

Liked It

Susan sounded like she was Loose in the Head. like PTSD. and since Roland had the same thing he could handle and Control her.

Nope

Larry was portrayed just too damn stupid to have any interest in him or his miserable life. Sorry Jedd. Mostly I really enjoy your stuff.

THIS IS FIRST CLASS STORY

All jokes aside! You have done well on this story. You know I was Gobsmacked with the amount of women who like to be submissive? I read online that it is as much as 90%? Where do they get their statistics from? Anyway I loved the story! Please may I have some more? Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE ps I wish I could give you more complements BYE!

Sequel

I want to see that Greek guy suffer. So please, write a follow up where he did the mistake to try to seduce Lisa. Or give the permission to someone else to do it. Thanks for a good read!

Family ?

Cold blood indeed, how do you forget something like that. Friends can be and are worth more than money. Good ending. I like your other storys too.

all over the place

This story is all over the place. You never focused on his healing,new marriage ...

Like I said before,in one of your stories : you used to be a good writer,but now ccc

Three stars

Confused

I waited til the story ended to comment. Part 1 was excellent the first time I read it and is still great in itself. Parts 2 & 3 destroyed surprise at the end of part 1. The overall sluttiness of the wife was excessive, that he didn't notice for so long bewildering and that no one told him unbelievable. The nutcase that became his second wife... Any rational man would have gotten in his boat and relocated further south....Key West sounds like a good distance.

Unfocused

The series stumbles and jerks between disparate parts. Yes, they are connected, just barely. After most of the pieces I was left scratching my head thinking "What was the point of that and why would I care?" The story did not engage me. The writing was OK.

Nor Exactly What I was expecting

The protagonist (?) seems to have gotten upstaged at the end.

Stupid fucking cuck whore apologist shit. Should have left her to die, better to let her suicide herself than to rescue a cheating slut CUNT!

A neat package

is what a common story is. This is uncommon and far from neat. It is not a mechanical cuck story or a rehearsed RACC or a paint by numbers BTB. It is a meloncholy exploration of a guys messed up world The characters are all so unpredictable. Fantastic read Tons of questions left unanswered. Would love to see the Susan-Roland relationship explored. 5*

Different View of Life

This was a bit convoluted and strange story. Unfortunately there are significant parts that are true to life. For those bitching, they probably have never left their safe homes with mommy holding their hands. They are much like a Donald Trump who has no idea of the "real world". There are those with much less than what Trump (and others) was given and what he stole from others.
Very good, interesting story.

Tiny Tim

Pre read

Just had to comment to thank you for posting all three parts within a short period of time. I have been disappointed several times by writers who got a great start on a story but left it undone. Some due to an untimely demise. Others because they just quit for some reason. I now look at all multi part stories with trepidation and do not start to read until the final chapter is posted. Now to peruse your offering. I am sure it will be another of your 5* efforts...

As usual, a good read

Couldn't help but see the "bar code" tattoo reference. Hit close to home? 5*

Good story...

...but why would he have anything to say to Clay beyond, "Eat sh*t and die!"

Why drag Larry into the rescue mission?

Roland was such a badass that Larry was probably more of a liability than a help.

not sure

How your story led some to comment on Trump
Funny those types never say anything about what the Clinton's have stolen or lives those two have ruined
Broderick-Willey to name just two

Waste of Electrons

So absurd as to be worthless

No structure, no flow, no point...

Not sure what these 3 parts were all about; a bewildering collection of broken story lines, disheveled scenes, actions, and commentary. What was this about? The first wife was a slut that screwed every swinging dick on the eastern seaboard, pretty much all his family and friends and probably most of Europe too, apparently because she wanted to cuckold the only man she loved?

So when eventually discovered, she divorces him and, like the next day or something, he's trying to marry this ugly chick that's now beautiful and has always loved him except now she doesn't. Out of left field we find she only wants to play bondage games, but with no sex for him. Then he tries to drug her, but that pisses her off so she throws him out, which he can't prevent because he's such a pussy, and then she immediately joins him in his boat for sex, but without the bondage games which she apparently doesn't want anymore.

Then he has to go save his ex-wife, who's apparently become a whore for mobsters or something, and only her ex-husband and some guy who beat him up earlier in this hodgepodge of anecdotes and cliches, have any chance of removing her from the whoring lifestyle in some half-assed rescue/intervention thing. They save the ex-wife and then the ex-military guy, along with his ex-wife, disappear while the ex-husband goes home to live ever after.

Does that about sum it up? We knew you had to have a cuckolded husband in this story sooner or later, Carvohi, because that's what you really aspire to - but that and the rest of this labyrinth is outrageously stupid and pointless. Total waste of time, but I still gave you a 3 simply because you made the effort to put it to paper.

Strikes A Nerve

I have two family members who have 7 tours of Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan between then. They both suffer from PTSD. One if the boys awoke from a nightmare with a chokehold on his wife. The other boy is just a shell of the man he once was. But is extremely well trained in a long list of martial arts. Why our government doesn't do anything to help such men is baffling. Excellent story. Excellently written. One of your best.