A Twist

Saw it coming

The title and the likely hood that your twist was going to happen was obvious. I wnjoyed it none the less though. Would love to see how it develops and whether they get out if it alive.. suggestion might be a little more eescription of the actual sex. You did very well but would have loved a little more is all. Keep up the great work.

I too figured out the ending as soon as the story got started. I like it however but I think the sex scenes were to quick. The description of her body should have been made as her body was revealed. I also like to know the size of the guy doing the raping as well as more description about how tight the virgin hole was before he filled it.

Bad title, good story

I figured out how it was going to end pretty much from the moment Roderick said he'd been dating the man's daughter at university, but I think it was the title (a 'twist') that really gave it away. I think if you renamed this story (so readers aren't looking for twists) and maybe had Roderick mention something about dating her as a way to spy on his family's enemy (to sort of hide that clue a bit more) then I would have been less likely to see it coming. Overall, though, this story was really well-planned and executed and it is clear that you have a talent for writing. Looking forward to reading more from you! :)