- All
Comments (6) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Is this a story or just a introduction of this couple?
Is this a story or just a introduction of this couple for future adventures? 2*
Constructive
It was a good introduction, though a bit disjointed. If I may be so bold as to offer some constructive criticism, I would recommend using a word-processing program FIRST and then pasting it here... or have someone read it before you post. That way, you will avoid spelling mistakes and repeating things (I got it the first time that Abby was "beautiful" and that Cathy was "mature" - whatever that means. Saying it three or more times is a bit redundant)
Now, can we finally get to the story?
Bravo!
An excellent first story. Love the sexy little wife and her comments. Don't think it was disjointed at all. Just a fun story!
Christian
An odd story struture, kind of Walter Mitty-ish.
I think I got what you were trying to convey, but it was tedious and without context that I could appreciate. Maybe just my own limitations and lack of imagination. So he's dreaming about and recalling his wife's sexy slutty behavior and sexual innuendo and teasing, and that excites and gratifies him. Like implying that she's fucking the janitor and intern and other people at her work, and he thinks that is erotic and exciting? Why? And she teases and arouses him and "would tease me for hours without letting me cum." So he enjoys being used and at her mercy? Of course we all enjoy having our wives leaking our cum out of their vaginas while attending a family gathering, who wouldn't? I guess he walked around behind her with a paper towel and a sponge?
Sorry, but this was either too kinky, or just too bizarre for me to appreciate. If it works for a lot of your readers then write on. Guess the rating tells us how that is working out for you.
Grammar issues
Lots of spelling and grammatical errors. You need a proof reader.
Bravo
I truly enjoyed this story, would love to hear more along same lines. Thanks for sharing.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Waiting for Abby or
More submissions by nitewriter34.