My Sister's Roommate and My Sister

Very hot

Wonderful ,pure fuck lust, spent the night fucking and sucking with my two live in fuck buddies, till we all passed out from the insane levels of sexual pleasure, when we came round we started over. More and more like this and soon. Cunt lapping sex maniac, uk.

language

Third paragraph: convinced me to go the same college as HER? you mean she.
In the nightclub. We sat down and visited? you mean chatted or talked? Why should i read any further.

To Fritsau, regarding "language":

You may be inclined to nitpick the kinds of details you listed, but "MY" issues were a little more general. For instance, the writing was boring and uninspired. The dialog was boring and listless. The characters were boring and forgettable.

You're complaining because he didn't polish his turd, but MY complaint is that he wrote the turd in the first place.

Re: language

Fritsau, "visited" is a term in the southern USA. I don't know if you from the US or Europe, but that's what it is. Chatted, talked, visited.... it's all the same.

To the author.... why not just title the story My Sister and Her Roommate? Don't you think that makes more sense and sounds better?

More proofreading needed

Terry says, "So Chris you had a good time with your brother?"

Please proof this and other things more carefully. Otherwise, decent read, but somewhat rushed.

WTF

Jesus there's some fucking nitpicking keyboard warriors here! It's Literotica, amateur authors and designed to get us off and they dont get paid for it. Fuck off somewhere else you intellectual fuckwits who are simply wannabe professors. Assoles. And to the Author thanks, I had a fuckin great orgasm, keep at it.....😊

Re: WTF

ChalkyCanberra1970ACT, your post makes you look like the ultimate intellectual fuckwit. You are a first-class asshole.

Fuck off.

Liked ....

Liked the story very much but the spelling did take away from the story more than once ~~ please get a 'proof' reader so that we can enjoy your stories better.!^* Thx.

Not bad

The premise of the story was good but it felt to rushed. Would have liked a little more build up maybe some back ground on the characters. Maybe it's just me but I feel longer stories r so much better.

#Really

17 & 19 before you started to get modest & sis is surprised at size of Cock #Really!
Gets to fuck a good looking woman 1st day at collage then is "To Busy To Ring Her" & he's in bad mood because she moved on #Please!!! #Really!!

Very Good Beginning

Proof read, YES. Good story. Good premise. I thought it would lead to more between the two roommates. There is plenty of room for a follow on. Consider a tease at the end.
My sister and her roommates eyes met...and locked...and...*W*
Keep writing! *S*

To ChalkyCanberra1970ACT:

Roadkill is roadkill, whether it's free or on sale. This story is the literary equivalent of roadkill, and if you're half the asshole you come off as with your own comment, that's way too much asshole for your opinion to matter to ...well, just about anyone else.

The first part with his sister introducing him to her roommate Chris was very good and the action details were pretty good. The second part about doing his sister was clumsy but it perked up some midway. In the next chapter, why not just write the next brother-sister encounter like you did with Chris and add in making and out. His banging her good and eating her out would be much better and they giving each other what they want !! Still can be a great story. Thanks.

??

I said, "Sorry for taking up so much bed and scooted over to give her more room."

Sister & Room mate

Enjoyed the concept of dating, then screwing the room mate, only to be confronted by sister who overheard the action. Delighted that sister wanted part of the action & enjoyed her brother. This was a well structured story & gave the reader an insight to the sexy activities.
Thank you.