Iniga's Rising: A Genie's Tale Ch. 01

So far so

Good, lets hope you can continue, whats looks to be an interesting story.

GREAT START

Nice story set up, please continue. Good potential here

good start

I'd like to seewhere it goes. maybe you can write longer chapters though

Thanks

I really appreciate the feedback, guys. I know this chapter was short. I am working on part 2 right now. I wanted to see if people liked the concept before I got too invested myself.

Always enjoyed the Genie stories. Interested to see where you take this one.

Great start

Solid starting chapter you've written here. Only advice is toctry and find an editor for later to help make sure it all reads smoothly and let's face it, everyone needs a second set of eyes to look over their work.

Feedback

Thanks, beardsmith! I wanted to try something different with the genre. I couldn't recall a genie story that started with an already owned genie.

I'm looking forward to more, thanks for posting this introduction.

Nice start.

Interesting characters, makes me want to read more. Thanks for making your protagonist a reasonable person. Good intro to conflict. 5*

I agree.....

I agree with the other comments on here. The story as it is is a good start. This story as it is has plenty directions it can go. The main ones i see outside of the usual genie story high jinx are:
1. Going down the list of "Lionel's" friends with (insert name of tool or torture device here).
2. Encounters with other mystical creatures (definitely some exotic harem potiential here)
The only point you have to be careful on is character development i figure.

A great start looking forward to reading a lot more.

I approve

By far the best one page intro I've read

A very good start.

But I hate short, one page chapters. Barely enough, if it's a good story, as this one is and it runs out. Now we have to wait for the next chapter and pray it's at least two full pages. 5*****.

My interest has been piqued

Nice beginning. Interesting not to take the usual sex genie path. I am curious to learn more about The Council, the rules Lionel broke and whatever other magical creatures/people are out there.

Will he live to regret not protecting himself?

So many questions, now go write the answers ;)

I have to agree with the last person who commented.

This might turnout to be a worthwhile story. But try to make the chapter's more than one page.