All Comments on 'Bonded Bride Ch. 01'

I feel like a baby bird...As it's mother chews the food that is regurgitated for me to eat...only to realize that the food was not a fresh source but an old used book titled fifty shades of gray....

I know it can be hard to start a story but you can't use someone else's, especially a bad one, and switch or add thinking that you made it yours.

Very well done from a technical standpoint, although there are a few misplaced words. Your premise is interesting and reasonably unique, and I am looking forward to where you take it.

There are several stories/series here utilizing a similar socio-political situation, though in the inverse: something drastically reduces male birthrate or population, legislation enacted to ostensibly help mitigate the impact simply strips most or all power from those affected (some of FinalStand's works are a good example).

It is... refreshing to see the flip side of this coin portrayed with such technical excellence as you are displaying.

As to the mentally impaired in the comments section, you clearly have not read past the first paragraph or you would know that this is NOT set anywhere in the Victorian era (or any other), but rather in an alternate universe, on a planet named Terrencia.

It did seem a bit too close to 50 Shades at some point. The line about not making love may have even been verbatim. BUT I still thoroughly enjoyed it and would love to hear more of the story!

Considering I have never read 50 Shades of Gray... it would be pretty impressive if I copied the premise... I thought 50 Shades was Twilight Fan Fiction?

This is a prequel to Auctioning Maize, another story I wrote... and the reason it is "hisorically in acurate" is because it is set in a completely different world than our own... maybe I should clarify the setting better? I am happy to accept constructive criticism, but please remember there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and being an ass. I put a lot of time into writing. I know there are mistakes, but to tell a writer his/her story was ripped off of something else... that is a very big accusation. With how many stories there are in the BDSM genre, there are going to be similarities. Be constructive and helpful in your feedback, please!

To the two people who actually read the story and gave constructive criticism:

Thank you. I will go through and fix mistakes and errors. And you are correct; it is not written in any of earth's era. I will consider changing the line that one of you said was verbatim 50 Shades. I just read a synopsis of 50 Shades, and other than also being a BDSM story with an alpha male and an innocent female, I guess I didn't see how it was all that similar, since that is a pretty common premise for BDSM. I will read the entire book and try to be sure to note similarities.

From what I understand about the characters in 50SoG, you will see as my characters develop that they are very different. Wasn't Christian Gray abused as a child and that's why he is the way he is? My alpha had an interesting intro to sex, but it wasn't abusive or forced, and he aready had a predisposition to be aroused by BDSM. Also, isn't Ana supposed to be nervous and unsure?? My character is a bit naive, but she's strong, confident, self sufficient and is sincerely interested in and aroused by the Dom/sub world.

Anyway, please give me specific examples that are too similar and perhaps I can rewrite those parts!! Thank you!!

I like your story and hope you write more about them one of the reason like them is cause as of right now anyway and hopefully later still he treats her as a person to and not just a sub

I enjoyed your story and would like to see how these two characters develop. At first I was a bit put off by the dialogue until I realized it was a society quite similar to the Victorian era. Please continue to write and expand on this story line.

One of my favorite authors of MD/fs is Emily Tilton. This story is written in that genre. The society in which women are subjugated submissive yet cherished and protected. Kept completely ignorant/innocent yet no sexual shame is forced upon them. I'll say it again, I love this genre!

The world you're describing makes sense because if women became rare, they would also become a scarce resource that would be coveted and controlled. Provided the coveting and controlling are not abusive or unduly oppressive, and it doesn't sound as if your world includes that, it seems that a shift in autonomy would not be found offensive. Indeed if women were rare, they would be targets for nefarious deeds at an alarming rate and would come to welcome the protection of being a more tightly controlled segment of society.

Having read 50 shades I can attest this is nothing like 50 shades! So January dear, ignore the fool who suggested it!

Great story. Looking forward to more

If I could find this type of man and relationship in real life, it would be my dream come true! You wrote a real love story! I hope there will be a series.

I can't wait to read more of this story. I really did not see the similarities of it and 50 shades and I did read 50 shades more than once and seen the movie. This is very clear that the female is quite naive but strong and the male involved discovered his desires through his sexual discovery, not because of abuse. Upon meeting his future wife he seemed to get the feeling he would not need a second woman to satisfy his desires. For someone who has been doing this in the past it is a big step and shows he has insight, so I can't see abuse in this relationship happening. Please continue with the story and ignore some of the comments that to me didn't or couldn't have read it all or they would not have made the comments they did. It was also very clear that this was a different time and universe.

Thank you. I am eagerly anticipating your next chapter.😘

At first, I thought this was a historical because of the arranged marriage, then I thought it was futuristic because of the widespread infertility. Then I thought it could be present day in a different city/world. The reader should not be kept guessing on these details.

Secondly, grammar was distracting. Predispositioned is not a word. I think you were looking for predisposed. There were lots of occurrences that took me out of the story, which was disappointing.

That said, I like the protagonists and am interested to see where you take the story.

Getting impatient :'(

I am one of the few that has not read nor seen the movie 50 S of G so I have no idea if your story is like it or not. I enjoyed it (except for some grammatical errors) and would really like to read more on this couple. I hope this isn't another story that just gets dropped and never finished. That is one of my pet peeves with writers that leave you hanging, waiting for another chapter that never materializes. So please, don't listen to the nay sayers...if they don't like it, no one is forcing them to read it...stop you from writing more. And please hurry...I hate waiting for the next installment of a good story. ;-)

the Story has very good described Details and persons - I would love to read next chapters about how she really handles to live with a Dom

Regards,

Mr.G.

I was so looking forward to chapter 2!

Enjoyed your writing very much and would have liked to seen the end of this story. Would seem that you have not written anything for a while. Sorry to lose your talent.

This could have been a really good 3-4 chapter story.

Pls update

It's lovely

This was amazing to read!!! Thank you for this story!!! Please update soon!!!