Worst story I've read here in a while, absolute juvenile garbage. You need to be 18 to be here and you are a few years away from that age.
by
Anonymous11/15/16
Annony is a fag!! Gave this a 5+
don't listen to the asshole of LIT!! he's not only a frag but a old ugly fag fag!!!!
by
Anonymous11/15/16
So bad it's brilliant
Favourite lines:
'My cock was like a river.'
'I grabbed a bottle of ketchup and the kitchen' - big guy, but then be does have a 9 inch cock too!
'Like an inflatable toy, my cock stood up harder, - poor guy! As hard as an inflatable!
'I could tell she came first because of the way her vagina tensed up and shook' - yikes!
Just brilliant, please write more!
by
Anonymous11/15/16
Your story has many possibilities ..... you need to add more making out and slow sex between them and then finish hard and long ! You are on the right track. Just check your story before it's done and you'll get better. Hopefully, his sister doesn't get pregnant and gets on the pill immediately, so they can do it for some period of time a lot until they go away to college. Descriptive sentences will boost the positive effects. Thank you.
by
Anonymous11/16/16
Ignore the naysayers
Your story was good, but rushed. Spend time filling out the story before you post. You might want to get a beta reader for the next one. Keep on writing.
Everything happend all too fast, no build up, it went from hate to fucking.
There was no info and we all know twins have a connection of sorts, this needed to be worked on from both sides about yheir feelings for each other not just wam bam thankyou mam !!
by
Anonymous11/16/16
OK, now tell us more
need to build up more
by
Anonymous11/20/16
Please
Please believe the haters! This is really, really bad.
I have taken all of your comments into consideration as I am trying to make a story that will make your day ;) Am working on a couple of stories, hopefully they
will be out soon. Again, thanks everyone for your feedback!
English
Hopefully he knocked her up.
Well....
I stopped at the 9" penis shit
Did he have a scrotum the size of bowling balls?
CRAP!!!!!
Worst story I've read here in a while, absolute juvenile garbage. You need to be 18 to be here and you are a few years away from that age.
Annony is a fag!! Gave this a 5+
don't listen to the asshole of LIT!! he's not only a frag but a old ugly fag fag!!!!
So bad it's brilliant
Favourite lines:
'My cock was like a river.'
'I grabbed a bottle of ketchup and the kitchen' - big guy, but then be does have a 9 inch cock too!
'Like an inflatable toy, my cock stood up harder, - poor guy! As hard as an inflatable!
'I could tell she came first because of the way her vagina tensed up and shook' - yikes!
Just brilliant, please write more!
Your story has many possibilities ..... you need to add more making out and slow sex between them and then finish hard and long ! You are on the right track. Just check your story before it's done and you'll get better. Hopefully, his sister doesn't get pregnant and gets on the pill immediately, so they can do it for some period of time a lot until they go away to college. Descriptive sentences will boost the positive effects. Thank you.
Ignore the naysayers
Your story was good, but rushed. Spend time filling out the story before you post. You might want to get a beta reader for the next one. Keep on writing.
Rushed
Everything happend all too fast, no build up, it went from hate to fucking.
There was no info and we all know twins have a connection of sorts, this needed to be worked on from both sides about yheir feelings for each other not just wam bam thankyou mam !!
OK, now tell us more
need to build up more
Please
Please believe the haters! This is really, really bad.
Thanks everyone
I have taken all of your comments into consideration as I am trying to make a story that will make your day ;) Am working on a couple of stories, hopefully they
will be out soon. Again, thanks everyone for your feedback!
loved the story..short and sexy
Hope you have more
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