Mania - The Finale

Some Turnaround

Now that's what I call a turnaround.

Didn't really get into the whole mania element on either of their parts, other than to say 'It went away'. Jenny's treatment of him was the big issue, since the swapping was consensual. Not sure it was well resolved.

That said thanks for writing and sharing the story :)

He moved 1,000 miles away to Portland , OR. (land of the Lib's)..... Played his cards right and Trumped his brother. Now with his new found confidence, the sky's the limit. Hell who knows maybe even President. Lets light up a Cuban.....

Tidy, auriferous ending for fractured fairy tale

So off-kilter, silly and preposterous, but I enjoyed it unashamedly. This should be Jim Jarmusch's next project. Fans of ' Ghost Dog ', ' Last Lovers Left Alive ' and ' Stranger Then Paradise ' will know what I mean.

Sterling choice by imhapless to give time and therapy to narrator to unsnarl his multiple dysfunctions. A tinge of credence to put the carnival antics. Tilda Swinton can play all the female roles with CGI, possibly the male ones too.

Full marks * * * * *

A Lot on Faith

He trusts them all of the sudden? No more DNA tests to confirm the parentage? He goes from being the fool, to being part of fooling his brother? Confused thinking and fucked up.

1 star

You actually wrote an even more awful story than the last part.

Seriously? He knew how horrible he felt believing his brother got his wife pregnant, and he actually went and did that to his own brother? What, they're never going to have a medical emergency of any kind? This is never going to come up? It's bullshit and you know it.

Also, getting back with Jenny was a mistake. You can be a father without going back to an ex who didn't value or love or even respect you.

Why do authors have to castrate these men after they escape their tormentors ?

One of my favorite stories in this genre is Richard Gerald's Jailbreak , then that author gave into calls to take it further and in the process he totally emasculated the protagonist .
While the first chapter of this story wasn't in Jailbreak's class exactly , at least he finally acted like he had a semblance of a spine in the end. I think most folks would have liked it much better to leave him to start over without these truly awful , totally self centered people tying their anchors around his neck pulling him down to the depths of misery the way they blatantly did !
First of all , anyone who would lie about their own parents deaths is below pond scum on any measure you use.
Secondly , who would actually trust Cathy's story about paternity ? I would try to secretly find out for myself , if he's listed on the birth certificate as the father , then I think he could have a court ordered DNA test , or at least try like Hell.
So overall , and this is simply my opinion for what that's worth , I think this would have been better to let lie in its grave instead of digging up his metaphorical corpse and then mutilate the body .

Nope!

Sorry, to much Que Sera Sera for me! Not tell the brother?? I don't think so!! No one in their right mind would go for that deal, no matter how much the wife screws! He may not mention that he fathered brother's kids, but he would definitely lay claim to his own! He would not able to look at himself in the mirror or overcome the urge to sit down when he peed without re-claiming what was his!!!
His brother knowing cuckolded him! Did an "I am going to fuck your wife and I don't care if you like it or not" to him. Brother let him know who the better man was and how much respect he really had for him! No matter how "darn swell of a guy" he was when they were kids, he gave him the "I am going to give your wife what she really needs and make you like it!"
Real world, brother ends up tied to bricks in swamp marsh waiting for gators or crabs to do the "Calgon thing" and take him away in little bits!

Fair enough

If it was necessary to provide a form of closure to the first part of the story, as many readers seemed to think, this was probably as good as could be expected.

But sometimes, I believe, it's best to leave the ending open regardless of the demands of readers wanting a nice ending with all the loose strings tied in a nice tidy bow.

I liked Part 1 left open for the reader to ponder.
I can't say that I liked Part 2.

Lue

for my own sanity i think i would need a dna test to determine the parentage of kyle. at least for me to read.
as for the sister in law and twins, turn about is fair play.
dave can feel good about himself now.
as for jenny, trust but verify. installing cameras in the home would help with that. so long as she don't know about them.
i actually liked this ending, thank you for writing this story.

Wrong direction

The first chapter was funny and I loved the shrink part. This happy-ever-after fairy tale ending sucked.

Sell out

First, this was derivative of your 'Wedding Game' or whatever it was called.

Next...that first 'Mania' story was very emotionally engaging. This one was a Hollywood ending. Good boy does better.

Third: Results don't matter. What did Cathy and Jenny set out to do? Cathy and Jenny set out to cuckold David hard. "Your son will be Rob's kid." That they failed doesn't mean that their vicious attempts at causing pain weren't meant.

Meanwhile, what did Rob lose? How was he punished? He got to fuck two women with permission AND know that his brother's wife worshipped his cock. How HORRIBLE for him!

When I was between these two stories, I was very much admiring Cathy's deviousness. Because everyone felt the lack of punishment for Rob. But...she very likely knew that David would leave such a sick and twisted environment. So she cost David his wife and Rob his brother. Which is pretty good revenge!

Except that isn't what happened at all. The central questions were not dealt with: How could Jenny agree to that? How could David sleep in the shadow of Rob's 'mania' cock? How does he reconcile with a brother who, with toothy grin, fucked him over repeatedly in his own mind? A brother who wanted to continue to cuckold his brother. How would he live with Rob constantly inwardly sniggering at 'his kid' and when he saw David, even if it wasn't true? How does he know that Jenny, even if she is as chaste as Mother Theresa, doesn't secretly hanker for more 'Rob Time'? Clearly she did when she was offering Rob pregger access.

Essentially, to boil it down to one question: How was this fucked up situation of disrespect resolved?

David does not suddenly grow 6 inches on his dick, double his bench weight and suddenly become rich and famous because he can fuck slightly better. His women are liars and are not above working like hell to boost his ego. So fuck his sex therapy. It doesn't fix the MYRIAD ways Rob beats David. It does not fix the fact that Jenny might be more motivated to not be a single mom than actually want David. Did anyone apologize or offer him restitution? Did Cathy 'suffer' at all by this, except to have to put up with David's unexciting pawing? After all, SHE didn't know he was supposed to be a sex superstar. Jenny offered nothing to make things up. Rob...fuck Rob!

So short answer to this: This story did not convince me it fixed anything.

I enjoyed the first one muchly, even if it was a tragedy. Sometimes the only thing one can do is escape the pain. This felt boilerplate and shallow. This is Elmer Fudd hitting the Crusher and the Crusher pretending to pass out. There was no victory here, no resolution. Maybe I am demanding too much.

No further DNA testing?

Given the area he worked in, he should definately had a complete series of tests done on himself, his wife and his child. (Before the second one arrived) To blindly believe without verifying himself is just plain stupid. For all we know the story about his brother being infertile could be "made up" and his brother fucked his wife again, plus his own wife, before getting them both pregnant. Perhaps he didn't really want to know?

I'm a sucker for happy endings

So, I enjoyed the story being wrapped up with everyone happy but it seems to me that it all came good, when he turned into his brother.

Phil

Idiot? or Wimp? You decide

He left because his wife wanted to keep fucking his brother. Why would he go back? Even if the kid is his, she's still going to be fucking his brother, (at least for the next ten years).

FD45

nailed it. How were the underlying problems solved? He got better at sex so he suddenly gained respect? The brother needs a confidence boost so we'll let him think he fathered my child? In what world would a man go along with this? I'm good at sex and the wife now respects me? You created a tense situation in the first part, but in this part fluffed it all up, ignored what couldn't be fluffed, and simply declared them all happy.

Oddities and vengence

Sorry, but a technician never would believe something like that without checking it out themselves. It's too much to gamble on someone else's work.

Second, he should burn the brother in hell and tell him the truth - the protagonist deserves some kind of retribution, if only to get his self respect back.

On the whole the first story was better than the second.

No way

Didnt Rob concoct a plot concerning the death of their parents?
So when Cathy turns up saying how Rob is infertile and she wants a baby too, he doesnt suspect it could be another trick, he just happily jumps right in.
After having all that hurt and humiliation heaped on him he doesnt give a second thought about the DNA test possibly being false.
Too slick and sickly sweet ..... you normally write way better than this.

I enjoyed that. It was a 5* read

And it had a happy ending.

Now my break is over, it's back to work!

It has been said.

But I echo the comments regarding the lack of support in the story for not telling the brother he was not the father of Kyle. He knew our protagonist had sex with his own wife. So telling Rob that he is the father is no big deal. It just made no sense.

OMG

l always did an still do, prefer happy endings to the stories, that l love reading the most, an this one definitely is a story that l love, now then it is a very hot n wild sex filled story, but it needs more nasty sex talk, although all stories IMO, needs those kinds of sex talk, cos it gets me all hot and bothered most especially impregnation. Rated 5 Stars.

I do like reconcilliation stories, but

I agree with several comments that the protagonist was too easily persuaded to return. I would want my own DNA test and would never just outright believe any of them. I also feel there is still a good amount of disrespect on their behalf as everyone was more concerned about the antagonists feelings than Dave's when they wanted Dave and everyone else to keep saying that Kyle is Rob's baby. I would not ever come back under those conditions. I also don't believe that Rob and Jenny weren't still fucking each other. Seems to convenient that Jenny, Cathy and Rob are still such close friends. If Jenny really wanted Dave back she would have completely cut ties with the very people that drove Dave away. I normally like your stories but this one fell flat especially the end.

Meh

“They understood that they had both treated me like shit, although that was not their intent at the time.” – It wasn’t their intent? God, I’d hate to see what they could do if they tried!

WAY too much deus ex machina for me!

WAIT a minute! I can MAYBE buy not telling him that Cathy’s baby isn’t his, though frankly I’d say fuck them all and lay all the cards on the table. But there is NO way in hell that I’d let him go on thinking that I was raising his son!

And there has been no atonement for Jenny’s announced intent to continue cuckolding him in the first part! That would TOTALLY rule out reconciliation for me!

Lots of holes

But also a lot of fun. He does seem to be a class 1A wimp who love fairy tales.
He should at least check the DNA of his new child...

4*

Felt a little rushed but otherwise a pretty good wrap up. A few things that have already been mentioned could have gone better, like Kyle's parentage and the fact that Jenny was all "goo goo" for Rob and never really did anything to convince Dave that was no longer going to be an issue. Still, liked the first story and this follow up. Reality is overrated in a fictional story, so nice work. I usually talt like your non-sharing stories in LW.
Thanks!

Fooled him.....

Unless he gets his own DNA test done, he should take any information he gets from them with a grain of salt. They lied to him about his parents dying. It's not much of a stretch for them to lie about DNA results.

Cuck stuff

Is really amped up in part 1 but settled in such a contrived manner in part 2 as to be almost ludicrous. The first part was superb the second seemed forced. I can buy that Dave would make an impulse buy of Cathy's story yet was dismayed by how neatly things were wrapped up. Just an opinion. Still gave 4.5 stars. Rounded to 5.

Can't get my mind around any part of it.

I think you're a very good writer and I usually enjoy your stories. This one, I did not. There were too many convenient circumstances. I've never heard of an employee being asked to see a mental health professional, "randomly." I'd have to check, but I think that would be illegal. The "sex therapist" thing was as bad as that sort of thing usually is. The convenient somewhat attractive sex partner to explore his new sexual godhood with. What happened to her, by the way? Just dumped? The convenient sterility of the brother and his own virility. How his new sexual prowess made every other problem vanish. It just seemed all totally contrived.

The Dave character was nearly as unlikable as his toolbox brother, disrespectful wife and treacherous sister-in-law. His parents were nearly as bad. The whole story was a web of treachery and deceit, spun from duplicity and trickery. The first part wasn't good and this didn't improve it. Too many typos, as well. I look forward to your next story, this one didn't do it for me. I'll be kind and not score it.

Penal-orgasm?????????????

Did that include the "screws"????????

" In New Jersey, anything could happen "

That's a quote from the from " The Purple Rose of Cairo " needed to be seen by anyone who finds this the ' happy ending of this story too pat, too convenient . It's a critically acclaimed Woody Allen film where a downtrodden waitress in a abusive relationship goes constantly to movies to escape from life.

She's watching one potboiler for the 8th time when the movie's hero jumps out off the screen to commiserate with her and they start to fall in love much to the chagrin of audience who want money back for interrupted cinematic experience. Then things get really sideways that defy my powers of encapsulation , but it's about illusion and the need to find something, anything to believe in to get thru the day even if that something starts out as a lie.

" I met a wonderful man. He's imaginary, but who cares? You can't have everything you want". This imhapless story is likewise a farce about griminess of life and transcending as mayhem running constantly slowly before that moment that transformation slowly begins to happen, then the surreal ramps into sublime torrent mode.

WTF ??

He lets his brother off the hook???
Hey motherfucker, you know the kids you think are yours? Well they're
mine... so go chew on that you asshole...
Also I never would have gone back... divorce would defiantly be in my future...

First Part was fascinating . . .

. . . but the second part was a bit of a let down. Should have included more angst and revenge on his cheating wife and rotten brother.

***

Wow. Seriously, the second chapter felt like it was totally disconnected from chapter one's characters. A build up followed by a "oh well"...
Liked Chap 1, felt very disappointed with Chap 2.

So

what happened to the mania, this issue was not addressed. Why has Jenny fallen out of lust for Rob and Dave's amour with Cathy just dissolved, none of this was explained and as this was the basis of the story it is a poor ending. The author just used this chapter to write a happy ending, totally devoid of natural emotions. Just one issue would be Rob's life long superiority of Dave is some how erased with a sorry and Dave now feels his equal because he's the father. Too many unresolved issues and just a lazy author's pat ending. TK

It was stupid but at least there's no sequel.

No shrink is going to recommend moving 1,000 miles away. No employer can give a glowing reference (privacy issues plus legal issues-blame litigious lawyers for that) or even a bad reference...and why would she keep her promise to not tell anyone?

What about Jenny

Dave needed therapy to deal with his issues. Jenny apparently did not. Falling into lust with your husband's twin isn't indicative of something at least a little odd? Letting yourself believe that it is swinging, not cheating when only one pair has sex?
I just wonder

I like happy endings

so this worked for me. You turned the story 180 degrees around.

This story leaves me torn nd unsatisfied.

The real cure to relationship issues always relies on real, honest, and open communications between the participants.

In this story, though, the Band-Aid of "let's just not think about or talk about it" was applied, and in addition to that being somewhat of an anathema in terms of a "proper cure" or "proper healing" of their relationships, it is just so _unsatisfying_ as any sort of real, long-terms answer to the problems and issues in the relationships between these siblings, and their spouses (and parents). Children/Grandchildren can only subsume these relationship issues for so long - and only to an ultimately limited degree. A real and proper resolution of the underlying issues still remains necessary in order for this story to truly close.

Betrayals were committed all around the circle here, and as each one knows only a limited portion of the story there (even if they think they know all the facts), echoes of those betrayals will resound endlessly in their relationships as questions of trust arise. Can he trust his wife around his brother when they are alone? Can his brother trust him around his wife alone? Questions like these and others will nag at them and fray the weave of their relationship like the rough burrs on a rasp over time. At the very least, this will shade and dim their ultimate happiness with their living partners, until all the issues are brought into the light and dealt with properly.

I gave 4* here because these issues really remain unresolved.

Very nice ending

Thanks for your finally; happy endings, well written are always entertaining.
5*

5 stars . . .

for the Donald Trump comment alone!!

Well

Along the way there was lying, cheating, absconding and avoiding the unpleasant truth. They all should get on well in the current climate.

Second

DNA test to be sure they were not Lying. I wouldn't trust any of them until the Test was complete and showed me as the Father.

Repeating Myself But..

Rob, must, Must, MUST be told that he is not Kyle's father, NON-negotiable!

How can Jenny excuse this, from Part 1:

"Do you intend to have an abortion?"

"Of course not," she snapped. "In fact, I think that it's a good idea if Rob ends up to be the biological father of our kids;

and this:

"So, if you're not pregnant this time, what's your plan?" I wheezed, feeling my chest getting tight.

Without hesitation Jenny responded "Rob says that he likes my pussy, and he's keen on the idea of impregnating me, so if it doesn't work out this month we'll try again next month. I'm sorry, but since that weekend at the lake I've developed a mania as far as having Rob's kids is concerned - but he'll just be the biological father, not the dad like you'll be."

I could NEVER return to her! As someone else said, what proof is there that she is over her mania? I don't think anything was said about counselling.

As others have said, DNA testing is a MUST, and if Kyle IS Rob's kid, then he is gone for good!

I agree with some of the comments...

I agree with some of the comments: 1st - How could he be sure he was really the father? Just because they told him? Why didn't he confirm the DNA testing? How could he be sure that he was the father of the twins? or even of his new daughter? 2nd - After the full disrespect his wife showed in part 1, how could he forget all she said to him? She told him she was hooked in becoming pregnant from his brother! And that his brother wanted to fuck a pregnant woman, and she was all for it to happen...However 3*

Not your best but appreciate the ending

I have to say not your best work but appreciate you writing an ending. I always prefer the author to end their work and not leave it to someone else.
Thank you for the finale.
Please keep writing and I will keep reading!

Avoid dating references

I know the election has people's blood up right now, but this story is hurt by including irrelevant dated pop-culture references like the Donald Trump reference.

In five or ten years, if this story is still here and someone reads it, that line will make the story seem very out-of-touch with the reader. I'd recommend that unless the reference is integral to the story, which this wasn't, you should avoid it.

Lying Cathy!

I believe Cathy was lying to Dave about Kyle. Also Rob is really the hero of this story. He got to screw his brothers wife multiple times and she, Jenny, loved every minute of it. She, Jenny, even wanted a kid by Rob. And yet they didn't want to hurt Rob's feslings about this kid, Kyle.

I just don't buy it

Dave's not only a sissy loser but a moron too! He works in a hospital and should know that you need actual results to prove all of the bullshit Cathy spewed out, yet he just believes her. Fucking stupid. Jenny and Rob were and still are fucking up a storm. Cathy was already prego when she went to see the loser. You should be a used car salesman. lol
But at least he was getting some strange while he was away.

Reprieve

Okay, I like the hero of the story a bit more, but he is still rather dense (but delivery induced?). Keep the 1000 mile directive and don't sweat the people who don't like the Trump reference. I don't think we are looking for timeless stories. Sadly, Hemmingway made reference to the Spanish civil war in one of his novels, which absolutely dated the story. Anyhow, everything is wrapped up and all are happy now. Rob telling him that his parents had died was pretty low, though. I like that Dave just pretty much put grudges out of his fuzzy little mind- more of us would be happier if we did that more often.

Good story

I enjoyed it. Also, excellent use of the English language. This seems to be getting more rare as some of the best writers are no longer submitting.
Just one small thing:- 'penal-induced orgasm'. Should this have read 'penile'?