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Fantastic first stanza...
opened this poem wonderfully. In the following stanzas you slipped away from the imagery that made the first stanza so strong and in doing so, the poem slipped from you showing me what you were saying to you telling me. While the unraveling knot provides an image later in the poem, it's mentioned almost in passing. I think if you work on presenting your message in images (like you did in stanza one) your good poetry would shine. A good poem...
jim : )
Wow!
Well said. I love this:
How can I say "you" or "me"?
How do I ever know what is "we"?
And your last stanza is perfect. Thanks.
~~
Tighten up the middle to the level of the bookend beginning and end and your words' impact will be truly fantastic.
Together
We ~ for so long - it's hard to be You and Me.
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