All Comments on 'A Shepherd Afield Pt. 05'

Well definitely a good story but i think its a little cruel what happened to Gretchen.

I loved it. A few notes:

I've mentally noted several times that the only person Ben had killed himself was the man trying to abduct Miriam, all the others were killed around him. Love to see that was incorporated into the story.

Loved the development of Gretchen.

I agree with the ladies that Ben needs supervision so the damsels he saves don't follow him home like a stray or turn rabid on him.

Your stories remind me of an author I am enjoying over on storiesonline.net, Lazlo Zalezac, particularly Ed Biggers, a story about a man with a habit of saving damsels, lots of woman loving him and not understanding why. Sounds familiar?

I knew there would be a final showdown with the jealous lover (don't want to look up how to spell her name), but didn't expect it to be violent. I think that all of Ben's interactions with her being just the two of them after they decided to start a relationship gave her the delusion that he was all hers despite what he repeatedly told her. Her coming to the court and learning from the Goddess of Love would have greatly helped her. But as Dr. Granger said, if she wasn't willing to get help with her issues, no one could help her.

Maybe Ben should deflect Stephanie with Gabriella for a Goddess of Love statue?

I really enjoyed (had to stop using love) Ben and Daniel's interactions. Also glad he got an apparent girlfriend at the end. I knew he was aware of girls from his appreciation of Karen and Penny, and Gabby's cousin's wife. Love all the bonding he and Ben had going back to France and calling Ben Dad.

I greatly enjoyed Ben playing matchmaker with Walter and Daphne.

No resolution of why Wendy left in the first place, unless she never loved him in the first place.

This feels like a finale, but there is a few threads I would like to see explored:

- The mythical Hawaiian vacation Ben never got to take.

- With Gretchen gone, will Ben have a marriage in his future?

- Ben's continuing struggles with the press. Although I think going with his approach in Milan, letting the press write up their impressions of Ben would work the best in the long run.

Ultimately, while I would like more, most of the conflicts would be external, since almost all of Ben's demons are dead or dying. That doesn't lend itself to the best stories, so this will probably be the last of Ben's long saga. That leaves Jack and new characters for BurntRedstone to explore. Looking forward to it.

TayJK

tayjk42@gmail.com

So many knots have been skillfully tied off that I am worried this is it.

I sincerely hope that this is not true.

I do need to add my voice to the other commenter here in that I feel that Gretchen deserved better. She only recently appeared in this story, but like your other characters you made us love her almost instantly.

I am looking forward to the next story you will grace us with.

The story was dark and a little depressing.Killing Gretchen,now that was tragic.What purpose did that serve? Ben's stories are usually fun to read.This chapter wasnt fun for me.

I can't wait to read what you write next.

Into every life a little rain must fall ,a little darker but nothing wrong in that I hope there are more Ben Shepherd tales

Hated to see Gretchen go that way, but understand you are full of surprises...passion...change...new adventures! I am waiting to see what is in the safety deposit box that belonged to Rainor!

I don't think Margaux was a tortured soul, she was twisted one, and really you could have aim the bullet somewhere other than the midsection(and head). There was really no need to kill her. She had endured so much in her life already without any fault of her own. That was cold man.

Anyway aside my whining, you did a phenomenal job. I always read your stories in a single sitting(I'm that much excited).

Good luck.

It was a bit anticlimactic in its ending

Wendy firing both lawyers and just ending up killing herself

Also I feel like if u do write another piece for ben shepherd it will b pretty drawn out with no like ending to look forward to

Just Ben going about his business

There's literally nothing for u to pin a problem against Ben for him to overcome

Cannot wait for the next story!!!

Just FANTASTIC! Couldn’t put it down! I’d be sad if I hadn’t read your update that said Ben would return – Thanks for that. Will wait patiently – wish there was a way to follow so when it posts I’d know. I’ve kept Literotica open since I finished part 4 to check for part 5.

One could suggest a lot of story lines but you don’t really need it – you’re doing great on your own! This is a fabulous tale wide open for adventure – can’t wait to read about the life size statue of Ben!

Again thanks so much! This is really a tale of survivors – all of them working together to support each other.

I've thoroughly enjoyed Ben's adventures. You've really outdone yourself with this ending. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful tale!

I'd like to provide a piece of editorial advice, though it's certainly picky. Many of the characters speak without using contractions, which makes much of the dialogue laborious to read. Having the characters use contractions would help the story to flow more smoothly. I can see using it as a character trait for someone like Tina who isn't a native English speaker, as a part of her characterization, but otherwise look to have a more normalized speech pattern.

Again, a wonderful story. I definitely look forward to reading more of Jack's adventures once you recover from the Herculean effort you put into this. Congratulations on producing a story so wonderfully fulfilling to read.

You moved me and entertained me thoroughly.

Magic story, well written, great characters. Going to miss them. Thank you for sharing your talents and skill as an author with this plebeian.

A very good and enlightening read. Are you going to continue the stories too? Murky

I don't know if I was becoming immune to Ben's lifestyle but I felt the last parts lacked the emotional pull that the start of the series had. So a good time to close the story and good way to end it - life goes on for Ben. Thank you for the awesome story.

Absolutely wonderful. Over the years that I have read on this site, there have been only a few stories that I have found to be a profound piece of writing. Some might see this series as just some harem story, or something wholly unbelievable. That is what I think makes your writing so amazing. It merges that unbelievable with the believable. I honestly didn't like seeing Gretchen die so soon after being found, so soon after discovering her new life. However, it added that wrenching moment when you see Margaux and she shoots at Ben and Gretchen protects her savior from harm. It was the final act of pure love. So too was Margaux's. In her extreme love for Ben, she couldn't break her primal fear of losing him. So if she couldn't have him, no one could. Someone mentioned that you didn't have to kill her. However, with that I disagree. Having it the way it is, gives it a yin-yang type of feeling. You have the greatest piece of love, and the worst piece that happens when love is corrupted. I can see why this and Chapter 4 combined were so long. There are just so many emotions. To make it shorter than they were, would just serve a disservice to the story and the characters. I would have liked to have seen more Trial. Something more than just "You still love me" as the reason for the trial. I was surprised to read that Derek was still with Wendy. I guess I'm glad she had some form of love that she could stay with, though it seems it wasn't really love if she got rid of him in the end, but maybe that was fear because she knew her death would be painful and she didn't want to go through it. Having Wendy go through an assisted suicide was another gut wrenching moment. It served as both a testament to her fear of her disease, and her loathing of Ben. Going through with that, knowing that Ben would blame himself for paying for it.

This entire series has been an amazing effort, but this last chapter really caught the essence of Love in my opinion. Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy your time away. I know we are all hoping you continue writing as you have stated, and that these new stories will be just as enjoyable.

Taking a break from my own writing tonight and I was delighted to find this entry. Almost 200 pages! Awesome treat.

A quibble - Ben would not have to legally adopt his son Sam or his daughter Gretchen; all that Tina and Lucy would have to do is put his name as the father on the birth certificate and it's a done deal, they legally become his kids.

Was surprised that Lisa and Lori don't want children; they are young and may change their mind. Would not be surprised if Ashley, who is still young, decided to take her own chances. And, Tina and Lucy might have other plans about more. They love their Ben and there is plenty of love to share if the family is bigger; maybe not setting out to have kids, but not using protection either.

Now that Ben is on the mental mend, Hannah is finally going to experience what he's shared with the others have had? Expect that it will blow her socks right off her feet. There was a hint that Chanel's family is wealthy and connected, but that Chanel rejected the plans her family had for her ... and Rainor's holding in Germany need to be gone through. There are possible stories there.

Yeah, it could end, but I'm addicted, so ... moah, plez? 5*

Great read, Thank you for sharing your gift with us! I enjoyed your characters and felt they were real with needs and desires. Again Thank you! Looking forward to more of your great writing, no matter who the story is about.

Well... fuck, what a hell of a ride!

You can't really expect to end the Shepherd's story like this! It wouldn't be fair for us, your fans. I sincerely hope you can find the time and will to further this story. Maybe the best I've read in Literotica. Kudos!

And re-read it all to get the whole thing. While THIS chapter may be coming to a close, there is much potential for spin-offs, Daniel, Frank, A military themed with Capt. Kendricks, or a continuation of this one. We still don't know what was in that safety deposit box (hint hint)

But in the end I think this was a story about a damaged soul that needed to heal. Was he a hero? sure. Hero's aren't perfect people that save the day. They are the damaged, the broken, the lost, that even though they aren't whole, don't quit when it comes to standing between the "weak" and those that would harm them.

Thanks again for a great story. I originally felt turned away by its positive vibe, it seemed almost overwhelming and cloying at first. But for some reason I came back to it at least two or more times, maybe for the character of Ben, maybe for the lovely people around him, maybe for the plot or all of it. I'm very glad I did, because in the end reading the story (stories) always makes me feel better.

In this particular installment (I hope it's not the end; I agree with others saying there are some threads that could be explored) I felt skeptical about Gretchen, but somehow the character became more fully developed, and I admit, sexy, to the point that I was looking forward to her being a big part of the family. I literally put my hands in front of my face when it was revealed that she was the one who took the bullet meant for Ben. Sad, and I am not sure necessary, but perhaps it means more development for Lucy and Ashley and others. I am loving more and more of the characters, I think that's what I like the most about each installment, this and the series about Ed.

I also think the story of Wendy could have been further delved into, like his beautiful relationship with Mrs. Colburn and Ben's adolescent traumas. Perhaps there will be another reason to do so in the future. BTW when you specified the helicopter pad idea, I totally thought you might do that... though that story line probably means really BAD things a'happening in Ashburn Court. Or at least something out of a big screen action movie.

Cheers and Congratulations,

Charlie

By the end of the series I was struggling to remember who belonged to who but I loved the story behind Ben's problem.

I wish Gretchen wasn't written out of the story as I was really enjoying her development within the greater plot.

Well written but I think Ben is done and you need to develop a new character after enjoying this and Ed's adventures from your previous efforts.

Keep up the good work.

One hell of a series love it all parts about it. I would love to hear a back story on Frank the daughter boyfriend. I would also love to see where you take Jayden. Damn good work.

This is seriously some amazing work! I've read all your works and many others and this is still one of the best tales I've come across in all my years! Beautiful, touching, heart wrenching, at the same time as soul soothing. While I would love to continue reading about Ben and his tales I can also see how this chapter makes a fitting finale. Hopefully not, but I would still be happy no matter the outcome. Looking forward to your future work!

Just amazing, love how you built the characters and how the story developed.

Thank you for this story and they many hours of entertainment they given me. :)

//A

Probably the best story of this type I've ever read, thanks for sharing such a great story hope there's more to come.

Margaux turned out to be a seriously disturbed individual...

Sorry you killed Gretchen off - You obviously cheated her out of a chance to really live even if you DID give her a chance to do something that had worth by her death...

And wow, almost no redemption for Wendy there, huh....? Granted, she axed her lawyer and bf but more because they were failures than because she felt bad about what she'd put Ben through...

And I personally never have gotten over how Stephanie can consider herself a "friend" of Ben's and doesn't appear to experience any guilt over the shit she CAUSED in his life with her statue...

Great story and storyline though...

I really enjoyed all the Shepherd tales. You took me to creative places and gave me things to think about. I'll miss these characters and their interactions and adventures. Looking forward to more of your work.

Like many other readers I have followed the Shepherd Series faithfully and agree with most of them to the plaudits which have been expressed.

This is a good yardstick for other authors to aspire to.

My hats off to you for simply a terrific and exceedingly well written tale. I'm sorry to see it end as it gave me hours of enjoyable reading. Once I started reading, it was difficult to stop. A true gem and I thank you for one of the very best stories I've read on Literotica.

I can't believe I've finished this incredible series, I'll definitely miss Ben and the gang. I have a few small criticisms of this otherwise masterful work of erotica. I feel like Hannah's and Ben's love story was one of the longest in the making, yet we never get a sex scene and barely any further interaction. Gabriella,Catherine,Trish,Tina,Lucy, Ashley,Hannah, Margaux(not 100% on her), Gretchen,Lisa and Lori are the list of women Ben loves(rather impressive laid out like that) but we never get the classic Redstone "i luv u" then sex with some of them, namely Ashley, Hannah and Lucy, plus Gretchen died without Ben telling her he loved her(maybe he didn't). Also I skipped over the lesbian sex scenes, as I don't enjoy that type of erotica, and I felt like they somehow detracted from Ben's relationship with Catherine by having her bi and in love with Chanel(that bitch). Rain's relationship just seemed to suddenly end without being talked about, same with Beth all the way back when. I think I enjoyed the Dom-Sub parts the most, so I'll definitely have to check out other stories like that. I feel a little drained, like I always do after finishing something amazing .

Maybe someday we can find out?

I greatly enjoyed them all is all I need say.

I voted at the end of each story. If it benefits you in some way Id be happy to vote on each page.

Title Says it all!!

I was hooked after the first story. I seldom read, but you writing engaged my person. Thank you for your expression through word. Cheers

I hope you keep it going and finish it off with a good ending

Your work is very good. I'm not a critic by any means but I would read a novel of this. I know all things must come to a end but when a writer does a good job of grabbing your attention you want it to go on. I find it hard to find pieces like this here. This wasn't a fap story, or at least for me. The sex and eroticism was well done but you gave detail enough for me anyway, to become immersed in the story as if at times I was in Ben's kitchen leaning against a counter like I belonged there. That's the type of story I like to read. I like a good plot especially since you can't word out every little detail so I have the pleasure of adding it however I see it in my head. I think that is the mark of a great writer. If you don't have that but rather hot and heavy sex scenes, then it's just the script of a porn movie.

To the nay sayers through the series, you guys need to see this for what it is. The author wasn't looking as a fast stroke/poke, not at an average of 17ish pages. Was this something that happened in real life? No I doubt it but it's fantasy and authors job was to give you something to read and in that something there needed to be another something that makes you want to turn the page and keep reading. This series has that plain and simple.

I enjoyed the telling of Ben, the Shepherd was a great last name for the character 🤓

What an amazing tale. I confess to skimming the sex scenes a little just to keep moving in the plot 😄

A gift that kept on giving. Thank you again.

T. East coast USA

What a wonderful story and an amazing way to end it! You have a wonderful gift and I have simply adored reading this story!! I hope you continue to write and that if you have anything on other sites that you allow us, your readers the ability to read them. Please keep writing as you have such an enormous gift for it!!!

Thank you!

I've left comments at end of several chapters and have exhausted my book of superlatives for Ben's story. Don't have words to praise your work sufficiently.

I do like previous commenter's idea about statue of Gabriella, perhaps gazing up with love at Ben's statue. Having her pose with Ben standing beside her to bring out her passion for him would give Stephanie something to work with.

Like others, I'd love to see the story continue for a long time but only as long as the story can maintain with quality. I trust you to know when that time arrives.

Thank you for a damn good tale!

I enjoyed the entire saga. What touched me the most was the love! I really like love in all of its manifestations and you wrote about very nicely.

Work like yours is so impressive it is hard to find words to thank you. Could the saga of Ben and his family continue?

to start of with im going to say that you knocked it out of the park with this final chapter. i personaly have seldom had such strong emotions while reading a story. in this instalment i chocked more than once.

that being said, this site is a place more for 'happy' endings, the way you end your story is not happy, its down right tragic.

for a large part i hated the additions you kept making to the story and the pool of women ben was seeing, margaux was a very poor character, chanel also has little bearing on the story and with rain you could have gone a different direction aswell. as far as the other addittions go i did enjoy the ashley and lucy story arch, those were realy good. as for Gretchen...what can i say. the most beautiful character of your story and you wait until the final instalment of the story to give her to us and then...

jesus, you are cruel to your readers. finaly flightattendant Julie was character assassination on Ben.

the actual court scene was a bit cheap and easy in my opinion but hey i can live with it.

what i also found lacking was the character development of the younger women. you did an awesome job with lisa and lori, its decent for sophia but you leave all the rest a bit to vague. i get the feeling that one night stands is not what Ben does, but with those girls? so a little bit more time should have been spend on the others to find out what the intentions are towards those younger ones.

also what happens with Lily at the end? i get the feeling that at court she wasnt there and doenst get mentioned again. for the scene with trish and lily i also felt like a bit more character development with Lily was in order

on a final note, i get the feeling that if you were to redo this story, change up some things, make it more plausible and more inline with real expectations you could sell this story as a book for real...i think

poor poor Gretchen, loved her so much

2nd Best story on this site after Colleen, very well done and thx for the wonderful read

*edit: how can i forget. The story of young Ben...Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt!!!!!! thats some fucking good writing right threre. but uhm...where is the story of the boys that got burnt and the girls that got saved?

I read all of the stories so I will just post my comment of all of them here. I would give you a.perfect score but that would seem to be very lacking in my opinion. The stories where amazing. They had me smiling and laughing alot. It was great to read one that had such a in depth and emotional story to it that wasn't just about the sex. I really really hope you keep up this amazing work and I'm looking forward to more of your breath taking stories

I'll be honest, as I was reading Ashburn Court my libido was dialed up to ten. I think my fiance appreciated it. I made myself read every line though, and the character development through the first series pulled me in. Ben, Gabriella, Catherine, Tina, and the twins, I loved all of it. I was glad that Been accepted his authentic role as a dom for Tina and the twins because it fit his character and fell in line with how I'd think of him as a serious person and how he portrayed himself. He doesn't do casual. So good. I could feel his heartbreak whenever his ex wife came up and I could feel it being rinsed away by the love of his new family.

Moving on to Paris... god I hated Margaux and I hated Ben for ignoring his misgivings and singing up to a relationship with her. She was bad news from the beginning and she surrounded herself with bad news people. The Lucy arc once again I loved, but that might be because I see her looking like me. The love she and Tina shared was beautiful and their giving and sharing nature was too. I didn't like Sophia's or Rachel's scenes. They came from nowhere as characters and slipped back into nowhere shortly after.

When they got back from Paris is when I started skipping the sex scenes. I was taken in by the plot and frustrated by how thin Ben was spreading himself, especially when Tina became pregnant and Wendy showed up to drag his name through the mud. I think Ashley's love was a stretch into casual. The only time I absolutely felt sick during a love scene was with Julia the flight attendant. It was so wrong for him to be having sex with her. It ruined how I thought of him for awhile. The only thing that justifies the scene even a little was that he obviously felt sick about it too.

I cried when Lucy fell pregnant. I cried again when Gretchen died. The former filled me with happiness and the latter with hatred. Why Margaux had to die instead of being brutally tortured by his love and grace from afar... I understand why but I hate it.

Finally, the court scene was bland and anticlimactic. Wendy should have been made to suffer through a verbal lashing like none before by all those who came to defend him. He'd done so much for all those people and I guess I'll have to be happy with them returning the favor by their presence alone.

The last few pages were perfect. The naming of Sam and Gretchen applauded his growth. He didn't cower from his past when he named them and I doubt he ever will again. I was enormously thankful to read that he agreed not to spread himself between any more lovers. This had become someone's life, and sex with someone new would have begun to cheapen what had been built. It was beautiful to read and even though I hated some things that happened, I wouldn't want to read it any other way.

I have read a lot off stories, erotic and non-erotic, but this stands out the most. As it contains the greatest theme to it all, love, not just simple but love that is not seen anywhere nowadays. People talk about chivalry being dead, but this story of Ben goes way over chivalry. He is a true gentleman in all its meaning and never lets his friends down, I only wish I can see more of his kind in this world of ours. I know this is just a story, beautifully written by the author, but it just reminds me of what we are missing in this world, love.

I hope we can all take the true meaning from this story and try to apply it to our mundane lives, I know I will try, using Ben's word, something's just had to be done.

Thank you to the author for writing such a beautiful love story, I have read everyone piece from the beginning to the end, I have laughed along with my "imaginary friends" from the story, I have cried with them, I felt I was part of them looking from the outside, I hope you will continue with Ben Shepherd's saga to provide us with his children growing up to be like his father, again, a big thank you.

I rarely comment, but I do hope that you will continue writing about the Shepherd clan. Thank you.

I've been reading this series for days and I am so sad to see it end! It was fantastic! I truly enjoyed each unique character (except Margaux, who I disliked from the very first on through -- apparently for good reason.) I applaud you for everything from the extraordinarily hot sex to the amazingly complex plot. You should really try to actually publish this. I'm positive there's a large audience who would love it. I will miss these characters!

Great work so far. You earned the win for your Ben Shepherd works and I personally love where you are heading with Satyr Play.

My favorite author. I've read your Ben Shephard stories several times now. I never get tired of them. I agree with the reader who recommended that you publish this story commercially. It will sell well.

I was so looking forward to eventually reading about Ben and Gretchen's wedding in Hawaii, then the world fell from under my feet. The ultimate sacrifice for love, says everything about the whole Ben Shepherd saga

An amazing story, I didn't think that anything could be better than the Edward Walters stories, but I was wrong. This is so much more than a story, it feels like someone's life has been poured into it, and produced something much grander than an autobiography (I know it isn't a "real" person's story but it does feel like it)

Thank you for bringing a 50 year old man to tears

I do so much hope to hear more of Ben's saga, please, pretty pretty please with a cherry on top ??

Well, tears in my eyes says it all. I would love for you to keep writing as I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories as I've read all you posted sofar.

Why did Gretchen have to die? She was finally getting comfortable with her freedom and you go and this. Why couldn't that bitch Margaux just die and let it be a happy ending? I hate you forever...but I will still be reading all of your stories repeatedly.

I need to read more about Ben

Is Ben a cat with nine lives? Everywhere he goes he's either shot, stabbed, gets into a fight, or rescues someone and he's a wimp when it comes to crying women? Plus, he has sex with almost EVERY woman he meets..is he a problem solver for the female population of the world? Sounds like it..

I thoroughly enjoyed your stories of Ben - read them all in the past couple of days (drove my wife crazy - haha). Do keep up the excellent work.

I did notice a few grammatical errors, so if you would like help with editing future stories, feel free to contact me.

Again - great work. Doug

Thank you for an incredible and special story. Uplifting and honest. Great plotting and characters I cared about. Fine ending, and I'm sad for it to be over.

Thanks, too, for sharing your story. Grateful for the exceptional and memorable world you created.

Such a love story

Awesome story and series. Are you planning on continuing the tale of Mr. SHEPHERD?

Loved your complete Ben Shepherd stories. The twist in the 'Afield' story was sad but well done.

"A Shepherd Afield Pt. 05" won the 2016 Literotica Award for the Erotic Couplings category. Congratulations!

This was so good that now I must go back to the beginning and read all of the Sheperd series. Please continue to write. This was very refreshing.

Woodbgood

Loved this whole series! Stayed up late every night reading these stories, what will I do now? Loved every happy, sad, tragic, romantic and sexy part of this story!

Would have loved to see Ben finally say to himself that he is worthy of love and praise but no big! Please keep going!!!

GOD FUCKING DAMN-IT MARGAUX!!!

There is not enough of this story. Please, please continue it.

This is a fantastic story and I loved every bit of it. I wonder if the author has it in book form so I can buy it and support him and show my gratitude for his efforts? The plot twist at the end brought tears to my eyes. Well done

This story is so much more than expected on this site.

I don't usually like these long stories, but started this series and couldn't stop. Best written story on this web site. Please keep writing.

Well done, Sir! You are a master storyteller.

This is the best series in this website by such a long way. It deserves to be published as an actual book

Well fuck, I've read them all. Now what? Twenty four hour whirlwind of reading from meeting to the trip to France and to it's end. Loved, hated, cried and cheered. Truly a masterpiece of literature..... On a porn site no less. Amazing. Thank you. I've been blessed to have found your work and look forward to reading more

And now there is another chapter in the works. I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!

Time to bring Ben & the ladies back for another series, maybe a couple of years down the road?

....... it will be forever! I've lost track of the number of times I have read this series. I read it for the human element, the sex is good too, but the story is Magnificent! Thank you BurntRedstone. Thanks for the comfort story when nothing else will do!

Just finished reading all three again, hoped there would be more. This is by far the best writing I have read anywhere. Do you have any books out? The Ben Shepherd series could and should be a book. I look forward to more reading , thank you.

Great story ( series), best I have read on Literotica. Hope have more parts but if not thanks.

Some of the best character development and storytelling ever. We would love more adventures for the Shepherd and his flock!

I just found you from reading in the western series. You write very well, good character development, strong grammar skills, just well written and easy to read. You have wrapped it up well but maybe a new series a few years down the road? ;-) Pretty please.

I stayed up way too late on to Oman nights tearing through this series and am now utterly depressed that I can't read more. Wonderful tale.

Tone down the sex and it would possibly sell well outside of a literotica site.

One of the most enjoyable series of stories on Lit. From start to finish, enjoyed it all, although the denouement was indeed painful to work through. I was coming to enjoy Gretchen's presence, and her passing, though certainly heroic, and an example of loving selflessness beyond reckoning, found me taking her death at Margaux's hand with some sadness. Ugh, and poor Margaux. So much woman, but so few reasons to deal with her mania in the manner she chose. Tragic.

This is my 4th or 5th reading of the series. Once I start, it's impossible to stop. I love these characters and the story line. I would be ecstatic to see Ben's story, as well as Ed's, cleaned up a bit to be published and released to Kindle (hehe...Hannah's name keeps changing to Hanna!). I saw in your Bio there was a possibility of more to this storyline. I sincerely hope so! Keep up the great work and many thanks for a great read!

This series is outstanding. I hope you continue writing this series as there can be a lot more to write----PLEASE!!!!

Outstanding, MORE, please. Ben still has room for more scars

So, I just powered through this monster... all... *Checks* 163 pages of it. phew...

On to the downsides, Ben Shepherd is a Mary Sue / Martin Stuart.

Granted, you did well to give him one skill, one hobby and everything branches from that, and a pretty good flaw as well, but the structure basically boils down to the following parts.

Scene Set.

Weird Guy introduced.

Weird guy revealed as Bad Guy

Bad Guy commits Evil Act of Evilness.

Bad Guy gets Slaughtered.

Sex ensues.

Ben gets another member of his community.

Reset.

Next Part, same as the first.

All the sex scenes are variants of the basic scene, "How am I going to cope with this monster" followed by "I can't get enough of this monster"

The only variance the bad-guy gets is his appearance, and the one female villain is the exception that proves the rule.

What do I mean?

Margaux can name her flaw, the rest of them don't think they have any.

Now, having established this? You're a fantastic writer and if you weren't I wouldn't have bothered with the second part of the first story, let alone all of it as it currently stands, because a brief twitter trawl tells me you've got more planned.

I have a suggestion you're free to ignore, but the reason I will bring it up anyway is as an attempt to justify the critique above.

Ditch what you've got. The MacGuffin in the safe doesn't matter.

Instead, Jump forward 1000 years and figure out the consequences of Ashburn cove on the rest of the world.

Probably write 163 chapters on how that all unfolded over the course of a thousand (or even more) years and then discard it. (and by, discard it, I mean don't publish it. This is what gets called "world building" in writers circles. (Okay, that's mean and entirely tongue in cheek in nature (Sarcastic)) but use it as an index for the story you want to tell, and then write that story.)

Even more optional challenge?

Don't have any characters that are tall and musclebound yet smart and caring. The big problem with idealised characters is it's really hard to give them real consequences, as the story tends to happen around them, than it does to them.

Then once you've done all that, you probably might need to find a publisher to sell it to, because that's how "real" books get made. (Again, tongue firmly in cheek, but it is a helpful lie to deconstruct into the truth along the way)

(I want a cut of the royalties if this somehow works out for you ;-))

(Or a gruesome death scene if this lengthy critique annoys you) (I'm a Heavy Metal Elitist kinda person. I'm sure you can find a way to make that more evil *laughter*)

Thanks. NB.

I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve read the entire Ben Shepherd saga – I love it! Each time I fall for Lucy, And Trish, and Rain, and of course Tina, Catherine and Gabriella (Ashley, Lori, Lisa ….)!

Lucy needs a ring though.

I read the reviews every time I run through the chapters and I can only think “come on people, just enjoy the story”, stop picking it apart and just relax – realize what site you’re reading on and that the authors have very little (if ANY) support.

BurntRedstone – this is a fabulous work and effort. Well knit together and a definitive plot line. Well Done and Thank you! I look forward to the next installment.

I don't remember when Ben took Tina and Lucy to the club. He did promise to take them so they could share in the Lifestyle with him, as Lisa and Lora did.

Yes I am sure I am waiting in vain though, however I must say very well done!

I read your "Shifting" stories first and enjoyed your style and story telling ability so I thought I'd read the "Shepherd " series. I just finished it and thought it was terrific. I noticed that it has been since 2016 since you've written your last installment in the series. I was wondering if you planned on writing any more? There are so many open tangents left to tell that I believe many of us would enjoy reading. We are invested in your characters. Not that you need any ideas as you're a great story teller and I'm sure you've thought of these already, but here are a few I thought of.

Since Ben is on the road to recovery and getting better (though it's implied in the last chapter), I believe Hanna should get her time with Ben finally. Also, Since Rochelle went to California to be with Thomas, does this work out or does he become bored and cheat on her and she makes her way back home to Ben realizing his love is really true and pure. The Catherine and Channel are now married, but can really deal with Catherine's shared attention? Does this cause jealousy? Does Channel leave? Does Catherine follow? How does this affect Ben? Does she come back? Does Gabrielle have to pick up the pieces of his broken heart after Catherine leaves? Miriam shares a special bond with Ben and Daniel also has a special bond (including calling Ben dad), it would be kind of interesting to have them surprise Ben and Gabrielle by asking him to adopt them. Since Ben is no longer engaged to any of them it would be kind of neat to see if maybe he would end up marrying Gabrielle since she above all others is his rock and the glue that holds the entire family together. These are just a few of many.

Again, I would really enjoy reading more of this series so please write more...if you're so inclined. WELL DONE!

You have to keep writing, it is a beautiful piece of art.

THANK YOU

I have truly enjoyed this collection of tales about Ben Shepard, well told with a lot of feeling. You must continue writing as you have a real talent for IT

Of a revamp with Chanel firing sooner & messing up Margaux’s aim leading to Gretchen surviving? (Hoping it’s possible)

I've so enjoyed reading these Shepherd stories. Thank you so much for writing them. So many of these characters were so endearing and made such an impact on me while reading. Truly, thank you.

Beautiful story, deserving of more than 5 stars. I've immensely enjoy the Shepherd stories and hope to see more from you, whether on this site or not. Have you moved your works somewhere else?

Thank you so much for sharing your talent and time.

I have thoroughly enjoyed all the chapters in the Ben Shepherd series. The characters were given a depth that is not always seen in stories within Literotica.

With the last chapter dated November 2016, I would hope that the author is willing to continue this series. I did notice that the author is still writing as Stories in another series have been posted this year. Fingers crossed.

I just discovered this series. What wonderful characters and a great gripping sty.

A brilliant trilogy encompassing many emotions. Compelling reading and impossible to put down.

I cried when Gretchen died :-(

5+ stars. Thanks