I'm a big fan of switch stories. You described their ongoing dynamic very well. It is easy to understand how it works for them. I'm not a fan of snarky meanness, so a few spots made me cringe. You created and maintained a strong intensity.
Re the deep-throating - would he be able to actually get that deep in her position? If he's coming deep in her throat, she's not breathing at that moment for her breathing to slow. That should be described senquentially, not simultaneously.
Thank you so much for the response so far, especially the anon who pointed out the inconsistencies with the physicality of the deep-throating bit. I'm actually quite new to writing erotica, so feedback like that really helps me know what to watch out for in future works.
As for the "spiraling downwards" anon - it sounds like you just don't like/understand BDSM or switching in general, which begs the question of why you're reading stories in a category with content you know you're going to have a negative reaction to. Go comment/share the love on some stories in a category you enjoy instead of wasting what precious time you have in this short life shaming others for having preferences different from yours.
writingwhilewet, this is one of the better D/s switch stories I have encountered on Literotica. You capture the dynamic of their power exchange beautifully. Experienced lovers know how to get beneath each other's skin, and consensual D/s is a wicked license to do so, from either the dom or sub perspective. I suspect she anticipated -- even desired -- the erotically merciless ordeal he would inflict on her mind and body.
You write well, showing not telling, and your dialogue reinforces the emotion of the moment. I am looking forward to more of your stories.
by
Anonymous12/11/16
Simply gorgeous
As someone in a switch relationship I must wholeheartedly announce my love of this story. You captured their dynamic beautifully and you made it relatable. However, as much as I hate to be a broken record, the below anon was correct about the deepthroat. But I see you have already read that comment so I won't say anymore on it. I'm eager to read what else you plan to write. Very few people can accurately write and describe the switch lifestyle. You, my dear, have done so beautifully. Encore! Tres bien! Ce magnifique!
English
I'm a big fan of switch stories. You described their ongoing dynamic very well. It is easy to understand how it works for them. I'm not a fan of snarky meanness, so a few spots made me cringe. You created and maintained a strong intensity.
Re the deep-throating - would he be able to actually get that deep in her position? If he's coming deep in her throat, she's not breathing at that moment for her breathing to slow. That should be described senquentially, not simultaneously.
Really well written and incredibly hot. Thanks
Author response -
Thank you so much for the response so far, especially the anon who pointed out the inconsistencies with the physicality of the deep-throating bit. I'm actually quite new to writing erotica, so feedback like that really helps me know what to watch out for in future works.
As for the "spiraling downwards" anon - it sounds like you just don't like/understand BDSM or switching in general, which begs the question of why you're reading stories in a category with content you know you're going to have a negative reaction to. Go comment/share the love on some stories in a category you enjoy instead of wasting what precious time you have in this short life shaming others for having preferences different from yours.
Excellent
writingwhilewet, this is one of the better D/s switch stories I have encountered on Literotica. You capture the dynamic of their power exchange beautifully. Experienced lovers know how to get beneath each other's skin, and consensual D/s is a wicked license to do so, from either the dom or sub perspective. I suspect she anticipated -- even desired -- the erotically merciless ordeal he would inflict on her mind and body.
You write well, showing not telling, and your dialogue reinforces the emotion of the moment. I am looking forward to more of your stories.
Simply gorgeous
As someone in a switch relationship I must wholeheartedly announce my love of this story. You captured their dynamic beautifully and you made it relatable. However, as much as I hate to be a broken record, the below anon was correct about the deepthroat. But I see you have already read that comment so I won't say anymore on it. I'm eager to read what else you plan to write. Very few people can accurately write and describe the switch lifestyle. You, my dear, have done so beautifully. Encore! Tres bien! Ce magnifique!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Power Queen or
More submissions by writingwhilewet.