How I Met My Wife Victoria

How old are you?

You need more than an editor. You write like a a 10 year old. And your character behaves like one. Terrible plot .

Go back to your coloring book...

little demented child.

SOME OF THOSE EXPLANATIONS

should have been saved for posterity, TK U MLJ LV NV

What was he expecting?

What was he expecting? The story was all about a woman with no morals, no self-respect, that was a whore for the entire crew of a Navy vessel, then he marries her? Then he says: "we had a very rocky start and a really bad marriage"...That was the statement of the year! Was he expecting a good and happy marriage? Really? 1*

Two new baboons today.........

1*

You know, in write a story or two here and the Lit Mods turn them down. Then I see a piece of shit like this pass the gates and I wonder what the fuck.

could have at least asked for STD testing and how many kids she already had

should not have been listed 1*

MORALS

Anyone that comes here has no morals.Read the stories then go to church and pray does not give you the right to judge the content of the stories,All this cuck shit, minus5 crap just in the comments just shows the morals of the person who wrote the comment.If you are here you have no morals...

May be that author is real mental ill and needs help!!! MINUS 5*!!!

What an idiot of author!!

You could use an editor

Okay first effort, but you really could use the services of an editor.

As for the storyline, nice start. Let's get some stories of the bad marriage, which, some of us hope, was driven by her loose morals.

If you want to continue the story without criticism of the subject matter, there are other places on the 'net where people like reading this type of story and aren't so angry at themselves afterwards that they wish death upon the characters and / or the author and / or anyone who likes the story.

Not really a different story

Because you had a very bad and rocky start to your courtship as well.
You should have joined the Royal Marines or the SAS then the story could have a good ending at least.

Not the best...

I've read on here. Story started out.great, but failed to deliver any kind of serious points after you moved away. Was this a "life experience" or something that you thought up? The editor comment has already been used, so I won't beat that horse again.

Keep trying...

a question for commenters

if you have not written and posted a story, what gives you the right to down grade a writers 1st story or any story for that matter?
at least they try, what about you?
i am not a writer and will not pretend to be.
to the writer, i thank you for your effort.

Ju8treading

What gives me the right you sanctimonious piece of shit? The fact that the writer turned on the comments. If you don't like opinions different than your own don't read the comments you dumbass.

Wittol not a cuck

Actually, you're not even a man. Didn't read story just bio and you need to change the straight to cocksucking fag

Didn't like

This story was barely coherent and I don't understand how it passed the Lit editors without being sent back for revision.

The characterization was almost nonexistent.

That said-- kudos for trying, it's more than a lot of these useless jerks in the comments section ever do. Keep writing and work on your craft if you want to get serious about it.

Reads like a lesson on how not to find a decent wife.

If the plot or moral was to illustrate how a trailer trash slut can end up being a good wife, then you failed. There was a lot of sex described, but no character development or evolution. Did the whore change, why, how, when? Could have been a really interesting psychological expose' of how a woman grows from being a cum dump to becoming a loyal ethical wife, with self-respect and self-discipline. Maybe try again with more humanity and less animalistic raw sex, unless your just writing a stroke story. Those tend to get lower scores, except from the stroke junkies.

Answer to @CHL88 comment

"If you want to continue the story without criticism of the subject matter, there are other places on the 'net where people like reading this type of story."! Of course there are! The ones that if a reader rates under 4*, or says the story wasn't good, is banned from the site! Example: Lush stories! All writers wanting to be fooled should go there and have their stories rated 5* always!