All Comments on 'A Wife For Christmas'

by DOMann1959

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  • 114 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

That was simply perfect!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
So much potential

I think that was brilliant, though I'm surprised she didn't interrupt him. I am enjoying the various outcomes that might follow and wonder what he might be getting for dinner!

badinbedbadinbedover 7 years ago
Continuation?

It's clear that you didn't really plan on continuing this. However, I think it might be worth the effort to extend this and re-submit it as a longer "diatribe" (which this was simply too short to qualify as). Perhaps with an "I wish" from the wife's perspective!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
good start

Good start. Looking forward to the rest of the story!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
a good start

please continue :)

Clark63Clark63over 7 years ago
Nuff Said

I think you said it all well written

PegasusRyderPegasusRyderover 7 years ago
More...

Sounds very familiar to what my husband told me a few years ago. Due to my ego nothing has changed for us; I am curious to read how this wife handles the confession from her husband. I hope you ad more soon.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Sounds like

She either isn't the only problem in the marriage or hes just too stupid to move on. He thinks her embrace of depression is stupid but he is embracing it as well by changing nothing, either the relationship or a di v orce? Pathetic.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Sad

The last paragraph says it all, she knows she'll just continue to treat him poorly and has no interest in fixing things. The only gift she can give is to let him go.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Hmm...

Sounds like a normal wife to me...

screwherscrewherover 7 years ago

An interesting story trying to make a statement. But not what I come here for. Especially this section.

TwentysevenTwentysevenover 7 years ago
My Suggestion

I suggest she buys him a gun so he can put himself out of his misery.

hansbwlhansbwlover 7 years ago
Last sentence could read:

She let the words sink in as she watched him for a few seconds, then with damp eyes she walked away and back into the living room where she sat down with a sadness overcoming her, but suddenly with a smile she realized that there was indeed something she could give him for Christmas, a lot actually.

Would this sentence not make it a better story?

ju8streadingju8streadingover 7 years ago

a divorce maybe? set him free

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
To the anon who said

Hmm...

Sounds like a normal wife to me...

If your are being serious, then seriously seek help and either fix your marriage or divorce. If on the other hand your are just being facetious.... My bad, carry on.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
by the sound

of it he wants to much, he made the situation now live with it.

Impo_64Impo_64over 7 years ago
I agree with @hansbwl ending! It would be much better...

I agree with @hansbwl ending! It would be much better...Why? because "with damp eyes she walked away and back into the living room where she sat down with a sadness overcoming her..."! If she really didn't care as some other comment said: "she knows she'll just continue to treat him poorly and has no interest in fixing things", why would she feel sad and would cry? She would just dismiss all he said and would go on with her selfish way, as nothing was said! 2*

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightover 7 years ago
I found this to be very well done.

I think it was unique, well written, and very well thought out. Nice job. This is one story that is true, or at least parts of it, for many couples and yes, it works both ways.

MattblackUKMattblackUKover 7 years ago
A good, 5* story that, sadly, is true to many lives, men and women

And for the anon who said: "All that build up for a rushed, pathetic end" is wrong.

It's my guess that DOMann1959 knew the ending of the story when he conceived the beginning of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
a speech

not a story

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightover 7 years ago
The ending was as it should be.

In real life, people do not have epiphanies where they suddenly change their personality and behavior. It doesn't happen. She could have mulled over being a better wife, but there is no quick cure for this ailing marriage.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Ouch

Ouch, well written.....

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Great short story

Needs a different category - unloving Wives!

mike9698mike9698over 7 years ago
Why

If you and your wife dislike one another so much get a divorce. Why waste your life with someone who doesn't love you. Just stupid.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Left a little too open

A lot like life, though. Nothing is ever as good as it should be.

My ending:

She walked back into the living room, surprised that he had made her misty eyed. It was so unlike him to vocalize something so strongly. His usual comments were "Yes, dear," or "Whatever you think, Honey."

Then she got angry. He checked out on her years ago. The man she fell in love with actually had a backbone, some of their earlier arguments were epic, and there was a few times when she thought they wouldn't last the first year. But love and determination had won out, and the makeup sex, was, well, the makeup sex was great.

Then the kids came, and priorities changed. She knew she had pushed him into leaving a job he loved to take one that paid better, that his creativity and drive had been stifled as he became just another worker drone, but his duty was to provide the best way he could for his family.

Maybe I should take a lover, she mused, that would put him in his place. She knew though, that even if most of his character had been eroded away over time, there was a core there that would rebel, and things could get very messy. No, they were too close to achieving financial independence, the vacation home was almost paid for, there was a healthy balance in their savings account, and their investments were doing very well, no need to rock the boat.

Maybe she throw him a bone, give him something special. Startled, she couldn't remember the last time they'd made love, the last time she'd given him a blow job, the last time he'd given her oral pleasure(something he was very, very good at, if she remembered correctly) or even cuddled and played with their hands. Why wasn't he pushing her?

Her eyes narrowed. If that son of a bitch is screwing around, she'd kick him to the curb, take everything he had. Then again, while she'd never screwed anyone else, she'd done some pretty inappropriate things over the years during girl's nights out, and the few weekends away she'd enjoyed with her sorority sisters. Better let sleeping dogs lie. No, tonight he'd get a gift of pleasure from her. That was something she COULD give him. Satisfied with her plan, she reached for a magazine, flipping through the pages, the incident resolved in her mind.

He sat at the desk, watching her as she turned her back and stalked out of the room. Well, he thought he would give it one more try, but could tell he hadn't even put a crack on the wall between him. So be it. He went back to his work, thankful again for having a sharp accountant. They had carefully divided his assets, the accountant surprised he wanted full disclosure, and that everything be included.

"There's no blood to go after," he explained. "I doubt that any flows in her veins anymore. When the smoke clears, I want to be able to look my kids in their eyes and feel no guilt. Knowing her, though, she'll want it all. I told my lawyer to prepare, and that's why we're doing this. It's going to be hard for her to argue for more, but I'm sure she will. I don't expect this to be amicable, but I do expect it to be fair."

He looked over the printouts one more time before he was satisfied, then placed them in a manila envelope with the rest of the paper work. He looked at the words printed on it. "Petition For Divorce" in big bold letters. Yes, he decided, there WAS something she could give him for Christmas.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Sad

1*

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
why is this even allowed here?

This person needs an ass whipping for wasting everyone's time.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Got that T shirt

This is the life I have become used to so for me it was a 4*, simply because it hurt to realise everything is the same as above.

kimi1990kimi1990over 7 years ago
I'm sorry, but this was not well done or written

It is one long run-on sentence, mostly. It is very poorly constructed. It could be much better with a little glimpse into either character. This is not a story, it is a monologue with little context, emotion, tension or thought. It is a grocery list, with all the drama of that sort of document.

swingerjoeswingerjoeover 7 years ago
Feel better now?

I feel like I just listened in on someone's therapy session. If I were the psychologist, my response would be: you get what you give. If your wife isn't giving you what you need, it's because you aren't giving her what she needs. Marriage isn't a one-way street. If you aren't happy with your marriage, start by looking in the mirror.

BriteaseBriteaseover 7 years ago
A truly meaningful story

If only to make me remember quite how well off I really am.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Mawkish trash

Try one of the agony aunt pages -- not Literotica. This stinks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
one sad story

one sad story. most sad of all she will not even try even though he has made it clear what he wants. she could have at least made a start.

ArsVampyreArsVampyreover 7 years ago
Follow up story idea?

Why do I think the 'next chapter' in this story has her finding him swinging from the rafters by the neck on Christmas morning?

Depressing.

GforGrahamGforGrahamover 7 years ago
confusing

If she was like he told her, she would never have asked him what he wanted for christmas in the first place. The woman simply would not have cared enough. If she actually could have been bothered with a gift for him, it might just be pair of socks. Sheer ones that only she would wear, of course

Then at the end, tears and sorrow would not be her response. Instead she would most likely shrug her shoulders, berate him for talking too much rubbish and then tell him what present he had to buy her.

In her mind he is a wimp and to stop feeling so sorry for himself. He should consider what she has to put up with being married to such a weak, pathetic male specimen such as he.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Certainly not a happy story

but a well written one anyway. Good effort. Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
This is a great story!

This was well written, to the point, and a great look at the reality of a lot of decaying marriages. As a former marriage counselor I can say that many men need many sessions to get out 20% of what was written. His motivations for staying could be cultural, religious, or others. Does not matter. This is great on its own, or could be a chapter one. Up to the author. 5*, and thank you!

dwbdazdwbdazover 7 years ago
Liked it, hope there is a follow up

Yes the story was sad. Perhaps he was a wimp for putting up with it for so long. I think that it would be interesting to see a follow up with perhaps multiple endings. And yes, sometimes life is sad.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
needs pt2

is she cheating? does she love him? does he love her? reconcilliation, btb or just divorce.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Great

Read it to my wife-we are not close to this, yet I see it other couples. Giving it to my Pastor. Think it might get to some couples where this may be starting.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
The one that when a movie comes out, wants to see it with me instead of going with our daughter and son-in-law ...

Obviously she's not the only one who thinks so little of him.

luedonluedonover 7 years ago
It's a challenge to see both sides

It would be a challenge for the author to write an equally pithy vignette from the wife's viewpoint. There are, of course, two sides to every story and wives who have become as remote as this one is shown to be through her husband's eyes didn't start out that way (as he recognises when in effect he says he 'wants his old wife back').

She would perhaps see herself as having been driven to her current state of uncaring. She would perhaps see him as being insensitive to her needs and no longer worth the effort of trying to maintain a loving marriage relationship. Who knows?

He is shown in this clever little story as being bitter. A story from her viewpoint would probably be equally so.

Lue

texcavemantexcavemanover 7 years ago
I believe this author ...

Has done what most writers only wish they could.

He has readers actually reading his story! We readers identifying with it. But form various opinions.

While it was written from a male perspective it could have been from wife view just as easily. A very readable story for most adults to identify with.

If the author decides to continue I personally believe he will have a difficult time finding an ending that satisfies most. But then again he has ignited our thoughts with this beginning and maybe he wants to keep the readers commenting which ever way he goes ?

5*

javmor79javmor79over 7 years ago
Interesting.

I like the real emotion of this, even if is simply a complaining monologue. I would have liked to see this as more of a conversation between the two. I agree with Lue on being interested in the wife's point of view. I don't believe a person becomes uncaring without a reason to do so. Why did she give up on trying? Why isn't it worth it to her to give her husband what he wants? What caused her to be this way? A conversation would have given her side, rather than having her slink off into her corner like a chastised puppy.

The easy thing would be to set her up to be a spoiled, entitled, selfish, heartless, evil nag. 99% of Loving wives stories go that route, on both sides of the spectrum (cuckold and BTB). The challenge would be to actually give her a personality that provides real insight. A declining marriage is a two way street, with both people dropping the ball. A lot of Loving Wives readers enjoy having a saintly hero for a husband and a villainous, evil wife whose sole purpose is to be slain and beat up on for justice's sake. However, there is a growing number of people who enjoy a well balanced story with real perspective.

Either way, great job. You pulled out some emotional comments, which is usually a sign of a story well told.

thecarolinadreamerthecarolinadreamerover 7 years ago
NOW FINISH YOUR TALE!

A very touching piece of writing, but not really a story. It could be if you add a chapter from wife’s point of view, and another with the conclusion. Makes no difference if they reform and stay together or if they divorce. THE STORY MUST HAVE AN ENDING!

gatorhermitgatorhermitover 7 years ago
Been there, done that

Good encapsulation of what can and does happen. I was fortunate in that an unlikely series of events allowed me to upgrade (which can happen).

luedonluedonover 7 years ago
A couple of points on the last three comments

Javmor says he agrees with me. I also agree with his additional points. So many LW stories paint their wife character as an uncaring self-centred bitch without trying to understand how she may have become that way.

CarolinaDreamer says "THE STORY MUST HAVE AN ENDING!". Mr Dreamer, you and I both have said that authors should write for themselves, not for the readership. As one who (unsuccessfully and painfully) tried to write an ending for a story that wasn't intended to have one, may say to DOManne: Only write an ending if you really feel that you will enjoy doing so.

And to the Anonymous commenter who said "I was fortunate in that an unlikely series of events allowed me to upgrade" I do hope that what you are saying doesn't mean what it sounds like: That a wife is a chattel that can be thrown aside if unsatisfactory and you can simply upgrade to a better model. Surely not?

Lue

luedonluedonover 7 years ago
Sorry gatorhermit

I mistakenly referred to your comment as an anonymous one.

Lue

kjohns2001kjohns2001over 7 years ago
He should leave

He should leave her as she obviously left him years ago.

fisheronefisheroneover 7 years ago
Marriage ready for attention

If the wife ready to cry, why didn't she decide to change?

Now that she sees all the pain she is causing , it's time to let him be first.

Maybe she needs to sit home while he is with daughter's family at events.

If she's not willing to change, she needs to leave.

I would like a second chapter.

gordo12gordo12over 7 years ago
Well

I'm not sure why this is in LW it certainly doesn't fit the category.

Perhaps it should have gone in non erotic.

But I do recognize the despair that underwrites it. A lot of marriages could be described this way. People have just given up in the face of an unresponsive partner.

Sad.

Rw43Rw43over 7 years ago
Most LW writers fantasize about sex involving the wife.

You fantasize about winning an argument with yours.

Oh, I'll give you the 5 stars for a well-presented story that really makes us think and comment. But it's clear that this story is one of those rant-rehearsals we sometimes get from long-suffering, self-pitying husbands who have given up on their relationship with the wife while conversely blaming her for giving up on him.

Let's be clear while assuming his entire rant is accurate: when a wife gets lazy in a marriage, she substitutes other people for her spouse--children, friends, etc. When a man gets lazy, he shuts down the relationship entirely by hiding his emotions, both good and bad. I'm sure she is guilty of checking out emotionally on the marriage, because you have let her. Too many of us guys are guilty of fantasizing about telling off our wives in a format where we get to use all our best zingers, instead of logging off the computer, walking into the other room and saying, "Can you think of anything fun we can do together? "

In short, by the time you are writing dramatic stories about your marriage, you have entered the blaming phase. That's only good for lawyers and story boards. You should do your best to hang onto the maintenance phase, downplay the problems so you both believe they are surmountable, work at becoming and staying engaged and make every day just a little bit more together than the day before.

Soon your fantasies will be back to including sex.

luedonluedonover 7 years ago
Well, No, Gordo

You say "People have just given up in the face of an unresponsive partner."

I suspect that a more accurate statement would be 'Two people have failed to do the work necessary to maintain a satisfying marital relationship.'

I think it was Reed Richards who said in one of his insightful stories something like "You don't have to work at love, it just happens. But you do have to work to keep a marriage successful."

Lue

patilliepatillieover 7 years ago
Ok, that was fairly depressing

Based on truth for most part, but usually the failing is 50% each partner.

txfastlanetxfastlaneover 7 years ago
Like a ton of bricks...

In the middle of a divorce I didn't want, but might be best, this hit right home.

ChucknWNCChucknWNCover 7 years ago
More than words

This story is so much more than just words, it tells the story of what happens to too many marriages. It hits close to home for me just like it evidently has for so many people. I hope there is more, but if not this short monologue certainly has got a lot of people thinking.

patillie, you are wrong, most marriages fail with more of the fault being placed on one spouse than the other. Seems the spouse at fault loves to keep spouting this falsehood that blame is 50-50 in a failing/failed marriage. More often than not one spouse gives up on putting the necessary effort into keeping the marriage health and happy.

Danger09Danger09over 7 years ago
Call me crazy

But I liked the story.. If you know me, you'd know that isn't often😜... Although short-- which I despise, it was powerful. It kept me wanting more, I'll tell you that. I would've loved to know/read more, like is she having an affair? did she just started taking him for granted? When/why did she start losing respect for him??-- What???? I've been married for over 9 years been with my hubby for 15 years, yes, I'll admit, I sometimes catch myself taking him for granted and I check myself--but I have NEVER EVER treated my baby as shitty as this wife is treating hers. I don't see any reason why he can't get the Christmas gift he longed for? All the bitch has to do is fix her fuck up and try to see if she can win back her hubbies love... She fuck'd them up, now it's her job to fix them. He sounded done to me, just over her and their shitty relationship, I don't blame him.

wieliczkawieliczkaover 7 years ago
Wow, the reality of it all..

Face it, the wife for the first time in her life was shown a mirror. Could anyone after being exposed in a non-confrontational way recover from this destruction of being presented their own reality? For the wife, walking away and crying made utmost sense.

Does the author have a chapter 2? It would be wonderful to read. Time and distance for the wife would be great. See what she would do. (EXPERIENCE SPEAKING HERE) Not all people are comic book evil ones with out any form of redemption. I've had reformed in-laws and not reformed ex-inlaws.

Problem with this story is that it is not far from reality. Please continue.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
He would rather whine than do something

Fuck him. It is easy enough to change his plight he just refuses to.

DFWBeastDFWBeastover 7 years ago
Excellent flash story!

Congrats on wonderful dark story. You pulled a great deal of emotion out of a flash story (always a challenge). As has been said in earlier comments, the story wasn't technically great but the feeling and emotional blast was exceptional!

I realize you intended the monologue (tag= diatribe) but I would've liked to have seen it played out in dialog. It helps break up the story a little and it gives the reader the chance to get a little insite into what each character is thinking.

While I agree with some that an ending with a little hope would've more palatable I suspect that wasn't your intent. People's feelings rarely change quickly. She simply realized he was right, she couldn't give him what he wanted, sad but very realistic.

That begs the real question... where do they go from here?

A simple closing sentence would give the reader a little more clarity (if you so choose to)

"...she could get him for Christmas."

She sat back and softly cried, knowing her dying marriage's days were numbered.

-or-

She quietly sighed and brushed her tears away, resolved to survive another day in a dead marriage.

Just some thoughts. Thanks again for the story!

Killian

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggover 7 years ago
First Rate Job of Writing the Plight of a Self-Punishing Quisling ?

Theffort ir kids are gone and seem to be self-supporting with their own offspring ? Congrats, their marriage has done better then most. I don't want to blame anyone. In point of fact , I went through that solitary feeling while in a relationship. But I did it for my kid and would do it again because it established the paternal bond . But why endure that purgatory for any other reason.

If the narrator walks his talk , has kept in reasonable physical trim and has a bonafide career , he'll be a commodity on the singles market. Sane, sensitive and successful women over 4 decades of age are to be prized but it's been my experience that their male counterparts are even in scarcer reserve .

So his wife is treating him badly ? Well maybe she'll be the one to trade up after vows are dissolved. I , however, wouldn't wager on that speculation based on my macroeconomic course and rudimentary knowledge of Adam Smith and principles of supply and demand.

I'm reminded of Grace Slick of Jefferson Starship who in a self assessment of her vocal abilities said " I can sing only two notes, but I can sing them very loud ". What exactly is DOMann's range ? We look forward to finding out. I thank the author for a very provocative story, while simultaneously agreeing that this effort left out plot angles due to its concentrated brevity.

techreadertechreaderover 7 years ago
Come On Over And Visit!

If you think this story was written just for you, come on over and let's talk about things. Because most of us either currently do feel this way, or have felt this way in the past.

https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/new/

mchinnimchinniover 7 years ago
dumb

OK, he's gotten it all off his chest; and she realizes he's right. But to just leave it *there*, with no resolution whatsoever makes this a miserable & thoroughly unenjoyable story. It makes most readers go "and ...." and then "that's *IT*?!". I don't know how the story category is set but this does *NOT* belong in "Loving Wives". She is not loving in any way, shape, or form. But then neither is he so maybe they deserve one another. The story category for this should be "non-erotic" (if anything) as there is absolutely *nothing* erotic about this neurotic diatribe & drivel.

BobNbobbiBobNbobbiover 7 years ago
My goodness . . .

. .. honesty is abound. This could be a great introductory chapter, prologue if you will. How did we get here? How do we fix things in our marriage? Is there a future better than past, or worse?

As vignette the story falls a little short for my tastes. There is no indication there will be more. Well written but a little lacking.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Maybe the beginning of the end, and an opportunity to start over.

"because she realized that for once he was right and there was nothing she could get him for Christmas."

Sounds like she's owning his assessment of their moribund relationship. A good ending point, but not necessarily the end. But that's another story.

A moderately interesting diatribe, obviously too little too late, from a man who has given up without much struggle, protest, or confrontation. He wouldn't have even said this much if she had not insisted. ""Doesn't really matter anymore, so there's no reason to even really ask the question." He tried to let the matter go, but she wouldn't let him, pressing him for an answer."

Timid passive men should not marry strong dominant women, unless they actually want whatever gets dolled out to them. He got from this relationship what he was willing to settle for, rather than what he might have gotten if he had asserted his desires, confronted her disdain, and had earned her respect. He's pathetic, and she's miserable living with a pathetic man. Its her own fault too. She should have married someone stronger, more challenging, someone who would inspire her to work harder. She probably hooked up with the first sucker who had decent economic prospects and kissed her ass the way she liked it.

A well crafted but sad window into a pointless unloving marriage. Merry Christmas.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Poignant

Pithy clearly written with an economic style. Struck & White would have been pleased as have I

maddictmaddictover 7 years ago
Naughty or not nice.

He has no reason to check his list twice. *~*,

POMPEDEPUISARDPOMPEDEPUISARDover 7 years ago
Alternative ending

Somehow I was expecting that in the last paragraph that the wife would respond with "Screw you! you're always whining about something you lousy wimp"

kimi1990kimi1990over 7 years ago
I stand corrected

Mr. Bum.

Thank you so much for that erudite bit of prose. Thank God you are around to tell all us "Goddamned dimwitted stupid" people what to think. How lucky are we that you are willing to bless us base mortals with your wit and wisdom? There’s nothing like a good cursing to clear the cobwebs out of our, seldom-used, minds. If only we had been able to consult you, beforehand, oh wise one, we could have saved ourselves the embarrassment of not recognizing a “GREAT MASTERPIECE.” Now that you have properly berated us, we repent, of course, in sackcloth and ashes, and are now ready to acknowledge the clear genius of a stilted, onc-sided, whiney monologue. Homer and Shakespeare would, clearly, have been envious. The scales have fallen from our eyes and we now bask in the sunshine of your perspicacity.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
A Christmas Masterpiece

I think this is a masterpiece. The ending makes it a masterpiece. To lighten the ending would cheapen the story.

The author should place this story on every marriage forum he can find. It reflects the state of many marriages. As Thoreau said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation."

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Dam!

He should have asked for a divorce. What a miserably way to live.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Exatly

I have read this story ten times or more.

You have said what is in my life.

I wish you a Merry Christmas.

Good luck in the coming year.

ArsVampyreArsVampyreover 7 years ago
Comment section

I see a lot of projection in the comments.

It's often said that we write what we know. Our comments often reflect that as well; we see our own motivations as the motivations of others, because what our mind thinks is what we think everyone thinks.

Experience often shows things differently, but cognitive dissonance is a thing for a reason.

"It's usually 50/50 on blame" really means "I want to stay friends with the guilty party". It's almost never 50/50. It's just also never 100/0.

"You called me stupid let me respond sarcastically." is really "I didn't like the story and I responded with something pithy and stupid, and someone called me out on it."

"You're a bitter weak cuck." is really "I'm a bitter weak cuck, and everyone is just like me."

I try not to comment on comments, because to me, the comments here are intended for the author to try and provide constructive criticism. I liked this story. It's completely unrealistic, the male lead has what is almost certainly a distorted perspective just as the female lead does, but both perspectives show and I think that's part of the power of the story; recognizing that they've grown so far apart in their differing perspectives on the reality of their marriage.

The ending, in my mind, is perfect. She realizes that she can't change to be who he wants, perhaps because his perspective on who she was isn't accurate, or perhaps because she's grown like all people do, or perhaps because in self-reflection she realizes that his description of her is who she really is.

Being able to insert our own perspectives into these characters gives them a life that they wouldn't have otherwise, and that lack of a sense of closure ties you to the way the characters feel. Every time I look through this short piece I'm more impressed.

The story does have a flavor of wish fulfillment in it. We all know this conversation would never happen; no one who was really as the female lead is described would really tolerate the male lead's statements as unchallenged as this story says. I do think this might have gone better as a letter. People do write letters when they feel they need to say something but know they'll never get to say it if they try to do so in a conversation. (Some of you might try it, and some therapy to boot).

I still find the story depressive and the likelyhood of the male lead to commit suicide to be pretty high, particularly as it alludes to heading into a holiday season, where suicide (which is statistically a very male issue) tends to increase dramatically. And to me, it feels like the right closure to this story for both characters; his inevitable surrender to his long-term depression and her long-term neglect, her continued discovery to the conclusion to her marriage as she accepts that its easier for her to do nothing or that she can't change to who he wants her to be, and the despair that follows from that failure.

The female lead's emotions at the end of this story indicate she can't be as the male lead describes her; she cares that he's so hurt. It's just obvious she's given up without even trying to fix anything. Thus, my conclusion about the course of this story. Take it for what you will, or don't.

bruce22bruce22over 7 years ago
Well done

I admit that I also wonder how in the world she could have asked him this question.

Does she really what to give him something? Of course, there is another story here.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
****

deserving a sequel.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Wow....

Wow. Just simply wow!

Merry Christmas!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
CATEGORY

Shouldn't this be NON-EROTIC?

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
On Target

This essay was without question, one of the best I've ever read about marital relationships. I very clearly felt the pain and despair the writer conveyed in his prose. Or, was it prose? You can't make this stuff up. Regardless of where it came from, I thought the entire piece was superb.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xover 7 years ago
Puzzled

If she's so sad, why isn't she planning on doing something to change?

And what's wrong with his daughter and son-in-law that they take his wife to the movies and leave the kids with him without even talking to him?

luedonluedonover 7 years ago
Indeed Mr Brooks

You say "If she's so sad, why isn't she planning on doing something to change?"

Equally, it could be said 'If he's so sad, why isn't he planning on doing something to change?'

When two people are as trapped as DOMann shows this couple to be, it takes either a shock to the routines they have developed between them or an agreement that they need to obtain competent outside assistance. Neither is in a position to solve their situation while each says that the problem is with the other spouse.

But I gave the story five stars as an excellent representation of how far a marriage relationship can degenerate.

Lue

laguna783laguna783over 7 years ago
WOW

I as many others male and female will take a look at ourselves after reading this, a lot of us will be in this kind of relationship others will be happy with what they have, what I or others think will make no difference, what I do love about this story is Short, and Straight to the Point, nothing more to be said but a GREAT STORY keep up the great work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
It was okay but I don't quite share everyone's enthusiasm.

I would have liked a few examples of her neglect and a little from her to give us a clue as to why she backed out of the marriage. I little more meat on the bones of a dead marriage.

DOMann1959DOMann1959over 7 years agoAuthor
Who would have thought!

I would never have thought that this tale would have generated so much talk. Like it, hate it, or somewhere in between, this seems to have really struck a chord. Perhaps for some of you it hit closer to home than you might want to admit. I love reading all your comments. If the votes are like payment, then the comments are like a bonus and I look forward to them whenever I submit a story here. I never delete them even if they tell me that what I wrote is trash. The comments reveal that in some regards I failed to give the full context of the problem. First, let me say that while a few of the things that the husband said has come from my own marriage, by no means have all of them. Also, My marriage is nowhere near the problematic relationship that these have. Still, most go through a time when they feel detached from those around them. In the case of these characters, it seems that I didn't get across some things that had transpired between them. One commenter said that the husband is a whiny wimp unwilling to do anything to save his marriage. But in his mind, he has done everything possible to warm things up and failed and thus has finally given up. He still loves her or he wouldn't want things to be the way they were. Nor does he say that she doesn't love him The fact that she wants to know what he wants for Christmas says that she does. As for whether there is hope for them, the fact that she cries in the end gives some indication that there might be some hope. As this was an entry for the winter contest, it had to be a complete story on its own. There is enough interest in what might have happened after this, however, that after proper consideration, I have decided to write a sequel although it means a delay in other projects. I hope to have it done in time. Look for "A Husband for Valentine's Day" soon. Thanks for reading and keep voting and commenting. D.O. Mann.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
sorry who cares why she backed out the marriage, she did

5* but I am very sorry for the poor husband in this story being nothing more than a paycheck for her lifestyle whatever it may be

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
wow...

this is my life - really. I could not have described it more perfectly. However unlike "him" I am going to be on my own within the next year once our mutual debt is paid off. Then i am off to sunnier climes (literally as well as figuratively).

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
@domann1959

I enjoyed this story and even things not said. This captured a husband thinking he had given his all, but it was not given back to him. This is a man who raised his children, and tried to do the right thing. However, he remembers what the marriage once was, and now where it is. They were so caught up in life, and lost each other, but just kept going. I think the wife realizes that she lost what she with him, and doesn't know how to get back. They probably talked, but not really deep communication. As you said this hit home for many people, and I can really feel this story.

Great writing! This story is deeper when you think on it. I did enjoy it, and thank you for writing.

KingCuddleKingCuddleabout 7 years ago
Required Reading For Females 1A

And, to be fair. An equivalent opposite.

Required Reading For Males 1A

Could be the basis of pre-marital counseling...!

AND...periodic brush-ups for married couples!

90+ comments? I have only seen one other story with that many!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
That was a grand slam story

After the love wears off and real life settles in this sure happens to to many of us. We become fixed in a sad way we deal with each other. Taking each other for granted, nagging, pushing, never happy with each other , we just get old and life takes too many of us down.

davwoodavwooabout 7 years ago
A sad indictment of so many marriages

Well written and thought provoking. It seems that the author is retelling his personal experience. I hope he found a way to escape his torment and depression. After 15 years of happy marriage my wife turned on me making my life miserable. For four years we lived seperate lives under the same roof as love turned to hate. I never understood why she changed, she refused to tell me. After two attempts at marriage counselling I left her taking my son with me because he was subjected to the same abuse from his mother. We divorced and fought over the financial settlement which she won (she's just off to the Seychelles for her annual holiday)

I'm okay, I quickly found someone else. A lovely woman who has restored my faith in marriage. And I have my son with me who means everything. We are a family again and I'm happy once more. My ex-wife counts her cash as her hate still simmers.

davwoodavwooabout 7 years ago
What happened to my comment?

What the f**k I left a detailed sympathetic comment which was deleted????

SamWarrensSamWarrensabout 7 years ago
I had a wife just like that

My second wife was exactly like that. I had to leave because I didn't want my kids to see a husband wife relationship that was so toxic.

bworth1943bworth1943about 7 years ago
fantasy guy

glad i'm not in his shoes. What I want for x-mas, to live that long, with my loving wife.

Tw0Cr0wsTw0Cr0wsalmost 7 years ago
but the second time

The second time they left the grandchildren while they went to see a movie I'd get out a big bag of candy about an hour after they left.

"Here are YOUR children on a sugar rush, now I have somewhere to go, see ya."

POMPEDEPUISARDPOMPEDEPUISARDalmost 7 years ago
something to think about.

I used to work with a gentleman whose church had him passing out these tiny pamphlets (tracts?) with a little sermon inside. This piece reminds me of that type of message. From what I see & hear these days, according to our media the only thing more stupid & useless than a man is a father. This mantra has been going on for years via the Honeymooners, the Flintstones, All in the Family and any other show that includes a husband, wife & children. I see lots of bad for our society from this denigration of men & fathers.

fisheronefisheroneover 6 years ago
Sinking

What's sad is rather then jumping into his arms she walks away. It shows she has no love in her heart .

LoejtcLoejtcalmost 6 years ago
Ouch!!!!

Hit the nail on the head. It has been said that love is a decision. Every day we decide to love or not to love. The decision may not be conscious but it is real. What he enumerated was some of the many ways she decided day by day not to love him. And eventually it happened. Realization always comes too late. Then there is only emptiness.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago

DM1959, do you have a Romper-Room looking-glass? I swear you were looking at me when you wrote this. If I could afford to leave I would have decades ago. I Consult all over USA at 12mo gig's to stay away and wish for a Lotto win.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
True life

Sad but believable too many men stuck in these type of relationships.

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 5 years ago
Nailed it!

Short, to the point, and very good. Thanks for writing this.

BoomerbillBoomerbillabout 5 years ago
Depressing, and all too common

It happens so gradually that it takes a tale like this to remember what it once was. Maybe this story will provide a kick in the behind.

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