All Comments on 'Dinnertime'

This is a wonderful tribute to family gatherings. These lines:

taters and talking, meat and malarkey, sweet corn and corny jokes

and big hearted, hard working, fun lovin? folks.

are classic!

add a personality to this poem. Working with couplets is tough because the rhyme often takes on so much emphasis. The rhyme in this poem does feel forced a bit, and though you have enjambed a number of lines, most of your phrasing ends a thought at the end of a line which emphasizes the rhyme. I think if you worked some of you lines where the thought carries onto the next line, the rhyme will subtle down avoiding the forced feel. Otherwise an interesting delightful poem...

jim : )

Good poem. I'd love to see you rework this one, without using rhyme. The rhyme is fine, but I bet you'd come up with a dynamite poem if you tried free verse.

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 37,500 poems.

----------