by IanHaines
I had to force myself to read it in it's entirety. Your grammar and syntax jumps around a lot and at times it's like you were opening a dictionary and just randomly picking words you would never use in your normal everyday speech. I can see you were trying to set the scene and allude to an era but everything was so disjointed that i am only giving you one star.
Get an editor. Work through it.
Good Luck and keep at it.
The story was bad,like who was the woman,the men were shallow and weakwilled,it was like started off chaptor3,it made no sence,just guys getting their rocks off and the woman what was she and what she about ,im sorry but this was bad to me!