All Comments on 'Nudist Family Holiday Ch. 03'

Except who is Bobby

That comes from having 2 stories going at the same time. Chapter 4 will have KEVIN asking some questions about the facts of life. Bobby has other things to worry about at the moment!

Mea Culpa!

DS

Great chapter! This story is really starting to take off!

Wow! DS, congrats! You went from tip-toeing toward greatness to running at a full sprint! Just hope we won't have to wait two months for another chapter.

I haven't read this chapter yet. But I have to say that I have to re read the last chapter again to refresh my memory since its been quite a while before this new one came in.

more asap please

Did I miss something? Beth gave Kevin a handjob in the previous chapter yet now in this chapter she suddenly knows nothing about the male anatomy?

I enjoy the story but it swems rushed this time. How does she go from being grossed out by her brother's dick in chapter 2 and insists on having clothes on to teasing her dad and wanting his dick in chapter 3? I feel like I missed some triggering event that woke her up inside. Chapter 1 she was fully clothed and disgusted, it seems like a stretch.

And you apparently forgot that Kevin was right there the whole time? I didn't see any mention of Kevin leaving to go do something else. Chapter just makes no sense. Beth goes from reluctance to magically wanting to give Roger a BJ. And it's a total change in tone, you established that the dynamics of the story would be the reluctant Beth being pushed by the aggressive Kevin, doesn't make sense to change Beth's personality totally in one chapter and awkwardly introduce Roger into the equation.

I think it may have been better if Kevin and Beth witnessed their parents doing something and with the hand job already happening Beth loosens up and things escalate from there such as both kids planning to seduce their parents when they have "alone time" with them

I've been eagerly waiting for this chapter. Now I can't wait for the next

Love it.

Not a very good chapter 3. What happened to the reluctance? I hope Bobby and his mom do something soon. And the mom should be super reluctant.

Beth was reluctant with Kevin because he was just her kid brother. She's really got the hots for Roger because he's her DAD! Angela just loved training Beth on how to give head. Now maybe she'll start teaching Kevin on some of the finer points and help Beth to accept both father and son as sexual partners.

Where did Bobby come from ?

.......what happened to the reluctance? Truly dumbed-down now..

And Angela's an amoral whore.

Been anxiously waiting for this. Can't wait for the next.

It's now Kevin's turn to learn about vaginas. Looking closely and sniffing it, inhaling the musky, pungent pussy aroma that make a guys cock hard.

And please don't forget about Bobby and Allison. As Christmas is coming, Bobby wrote his one and only Christmas wish for Santa, and Bobby put it under the Christmas tree. When Allison opened and read it that early Christmas morning it only has two words..." Sexual Intercourse"

Allison love her son so much. How could a loving Mother denies it to her son on Christmas Day?

This chapter seemed rushed. Beth wanted nothing to do with nudity and then drops her panties just like that. No description of Beth's body once she was nude. No description of her physical reaction to seeing her dad's cock or sucking him (nipples hard, pussy wet/dripping/playing with her pussy as she gives her dad head. Kevin is non-existent - perfect opportunity for him to call her out as a perv like she did with him, but he is silent. Needs more character developement.

@p5ter:

DS has addressed that in the comments. Bobby is the name of the son in his other (concurrent) story, Mother's Helping Hand. Just a momentary mental lapse. DS meant to say Kevin there.

I think it's funny this typo occurs in the very last sentence of the chapter, in the teaser text of all places. I could definitely see myself overlooking that in proofreading.

@DS

I think this chapter is great, but I agree with the other guys that the tone seems a little off. It makes sense that Beth was grossed out in the previous chapters. That's the normal reaction I would expect from a girl whose brother ejaculated onto her. I would be grossed out too. And it was set up in chapter two that she really has the hots for her dad. Still, it does seem like we missed a step. I can't really articulate why...it just feels off.

And the mom that had to turn away to hide her embarrassment both times she saw her son's erection suddenly has no problem volunteering to deep-throat cock right in front of her children? Encouraging her daughter to jerk and suck off her own father and make him blast semen all over them? Again, it seems like we missed a step. Maybe a few in this case. That doesn't just affect the flow of the story; a missed step is a missed opportunity you can never get back.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that Angela is going to help her daughter swallow her father's semen. That's really hot. But it would have made sense to develop Beth and Angela a little more first. This feels out of character for them at this point. What is done is done, however.

I appreciate Roger's reluctance with respect to Beth. He loves his daughter and wants to be a good father. Roger is reluctant with Beth, Beth and Angela both reluctant with Kevin, and Kevin is reluctant with Roger (although you would alienate a lot of readers if you explore this one). The reluctance triangle. Perfect. But this chapter just doesn't add up. Angela's motivations are important and getting off to this so early into the story cheapens her character in my opinion.

That said, this one still gets 5 stars from me. Despite any typos, grammatical errors, or questionable continuity, you're still an amazing writer and this story is destined for greatness. I could never write as well as you because while I understand the mechanics, I don't understand the intangibles you seem to have. You are magic, DS.

Stan, I completely agree with you about Beth, but DS didn't forget about Kevin. Kevin didn't leave to go do something else. He was there the whole time jerking off to the sight of his mother and sister worshiping cock together and getting plastered with cum. He got a show, and the fact that the rest of them didn't seem to notice can serve as a plot device. Remember, his mother still hasn't seen Kevin ejaculate, even though he just did so in her presence. For all she knows, he's still backed up and that's why he always has an erection.

Yeah I skimmed through it when I made the comment. Whole thing needs a re-write, maybe switch it so Kevin is the one instigating the encounter between Beth and Roger. Roger gets a boner when Beth strips down, Beth acts offended, Kevin manipulates the mom into getting Beth to touch Roger so she won't think it's such a big deal, end with Roger accidentally giving Beth a facial?

Wow! This guy wants to see characters in stroke fiction display more morals. Maybe you should try another type of story, bro.

That is an ignorant position. This is a story. It resides entirely in the arena of the mind. That means details like the CHARACTER of the CHARACTERS is more important than ever. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise just because this is "stroke fiction." Good storytelling is the whole point.

I can't believe I have to argue this with a fellow reader.

Wanting a stronger initial sense of morality about incest, and thus reluctance, from the mother is perfectly reasonable and rational. That's the bedrock on which a story like this can lie.

...I had to let go of my cock while reading this or I would have blown all over my chair.

ryeandgingerayle

Maybe you need to go write your own story, dude, and keep out of this one.

Great series - by the way Beth jerked Kevin off, it sounds like he is circumcised, so maybe she needs to learn the different techniques for dealing with them?

I had concerns that the pace of the story had moved along too fast for this chapter. I think Beth's obsession with her dad perhaps needed a little more time to develop but there we are.. it is what it is. The dynamics between 4 characters make this a little more challenging as well which is nice. Anyway glad most of you are enjoying this one.

It was good. When is Chapter 4 expected to drop?

I am planning on trying to get Chapter 4 out this year before working on the finale for MHH.

Please keep a theme of reluctance in crossing boundaries between M/S

Based on that end-of-chapter spoiler, the next one will easily get five stars from me. This may be TMI, but the spoiler is what did it for me after the buildup of the chapter proper. Good or bad, I got off to a synopsis for the first time in my life. Congratulations DS.

I've never been into father/daughter or even brother/sister stuff -- I'm more of a mother/son kind of guy -- but you wrote Beth so well and there's something about this scenario I can't deny. Roger is reluctant to do anything inappropriate but was persuaded by his wife to let their inexperienced daughter experiment on his cock, taking it into her mouth and showering in his semen, all the while letting her swallow would somehow have been crossing the line. That may seem like an arbitrary distinction to some, but the import attributed here makes the story so much better for me. It's a big deal to Roger. However, it's also a big deal to Beth and swallowing her father's semen is her singular focus right now. And Mom is going to help make it happen! Love it.

I hope she gets a healthy serving. You are what you eat, and she is her father's child after all.

I agree that Angela and Beth seem to have jumped ahead of their own character development, but I can't complain about the situation they've found themselves in. It was very honorable of you to address that criticism, and also to accept and even agree with it. That only reassures me that we're in good hands. Now we move forward.

Thanks for the wonderful new series, DS. I'm excited for the next chapter and I can't wait to see how the Angela and Kevin storyline unfolds. You're right that the relationship dynamics are complicated in this one. There are four main characters, but that works out to twelve relationships to keep track of, all tied to and affected by one another. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out how Angela can believably maintain a satisfying level of reluctance for her arc with Kevin, and I'm afraid she's been somewhat spoiled by this chapter. It was implied that Angela wasn't acting from a purely educational standpoint. But turnabout is fair play. If Beth gets to learn, so does Kevin. I'm sure Angela can be reasoned with using her own logic. I'm also curious to see how Kevin will use the events of chapters three and four as leverage with Beth.

The twist here is that Roger is the reluctant participant. The girls are the aggressors. Why would Angela suddenly show reluctance? The story is moving along just as its supposed to. Waiting with anticipation for Chapter 4.

Good question. You're right that Roger is a reluctant participant and the girls are the aggressors in this case, but there's more to the story.

Don't forget that Beth hasn't been quite as eager with Kevin. It's safe to say he is the aggressor in that relationship. Likewise, as it has been pointed out in the comments, Angela was embarrassed in the presence of her son's erection in both chapters one and two and felt compelled to look away. I don't think you can say showing reluctance toward Kevin would be a "sudden" change of character for Angela. If anything, the girls' behavior in this chapter is a little incongruous with the previous two.

In basic terms, the relationships between the characters are as follows:

Father reluctant with daughter, but daughter eager with father

Mother reluctant with son, but son eager with mother

Sister reluctant with brother, but brother eager with sister

I think that's the perfect setup, but it's deceptively simple. As DS has said, the dynamics between four characters can present some interesting challenges when writing. How should things progress so each character and relationship can develop in a satisfactory way without stifling the advancement of the other characters and relationships? How much should each character know? Given the extent of their information, how should they feel and how should they act? Who should help whom and what are their motivations?

I think DS is doing an exemplary job.

Will Chapter 4 be up tomorrow? It's the last day of the year?

I think Dick_Spanker was referring to Chinese New Year so we still have a few more weeks.

I comeback everyday waiting for chapter 4. Love the series keep em cumming ;)

Wow! I thought there was supposed to be a new chapter up here!

Hey I check in everyday to see if you have put up the next chapter. Just wondering if you have an ETA on Ch. 4?

It's now been submitted, unfortunately a little later than planned, but it has been uploaded. Currently pending but will hopefully go live in the next day or two and will hopefully be worth the wait!

DS

Thanks for keeping us in the loop, DS. I know everyone tends to hold you over the fire, but we're all just excited to read more of your work. I appreciate you giving us estimates knowing full-well that people will give you a hard time if you overshoot by even one day.

*****That was very HOT. Thanks for sharing.

i need the next chapter of this... its so good!!

The story is fun and all but surely even the author can see how terribly its written. Beth is just a completely different character, there's no consistency between this entry and the previous one. She not only acts and talks completely differently, but she expresses a curiousity that wasn't present at all when she was blackmailed by her brother in part 2. There is also zero reason given as to why she understands so little about sex and sexual boundaries, which makes it incredibly obvious that the author wrote this with underrage characters in mind, but couldn't make that part of the story as it would be against the content policy of the site. Ultimately this series feels like an attempt to express several different incestuous fantasies without the patience to create realistic ways for them to occur. The character's personalities and desires change at the drop of a hat to accommodate the next fantasy without proper textual justification.