All Comments on 'Love Knows No Color Pt. 09'

Parents finna get ya both. Thanks for the update.

Rose's beat down was probably warranted, but not my cup of tea (especially the licking of yalls cum). Also, my boyfriend will never be naked in front of my friend...that's how cheating and "sharing" happens and I don't do that.

Nevertheless still a great chapter. Can't wait to see what the mom's say and do.

I can see the beat down. A bit on the extreme side, but I can see being pushed too far. However, the hot tub scenario ad the events afterward...it's out of place. It feels inconsistent to the characters as previously written.

Liking this, a lot.

Thank you

Another great addition. Although i have to agree, all the smoking up was out of character. Not sure how that came about in your head but again thanks for this story. Looking forward to the moms in the next chapter

...over the top with asking Rose to lick, but the beat down and exhibitionist sex seemed appropriate humiliation. Didn't care for the drugs either...didn't seem they would need to 'chill' that way. Because of the raw emotions and such, I still say 5. I'm actually more concerned about what Althea and Barbara will say.

Was this one a bit raw? Yes. OVer the top? Yes.

That said, I tried to convey two people who'd simply had enough, struck back without thinking things through, then try to deal with the consequences. Because of how they normally are, the internal conflicts are far worse than any outside punishment could be.

Shavonda had rented the Jacuzzi room for the weekend intending to surprise Jason, but then the shit hit the fan so to speak. People don't always act rationally when under extreme stress, and this is what happened here. Shavonda called one person she trusted implicitly, for something to calm them down, and for some moral support.

A word about Tamika, as you noticed, she plays an important role in this story. Though she is Shavonda's cousin and about ten years younger, she is also the best friend Shavonda has outside of Jason. Thus, it was Tamika she turned to in her time of need.

The hot tub itself is reminiscent of times my queen and I spent relaxing with friends in similar, but less stressful times. You will notice, no boundaries were crossed here. It would have been all too easy to write a group sex scene here, but that would have sent the story down a far different path than the one I wanted it to take.

Tamika, and Brian, will continue to play important roles in this story as it further unfolds.

"I am so sorry," the commander said to me.

A few lines above that one was this one :

The commander left the room with Ziggy.

How could the commander said that to him when the commander left the room with ziggy? The commander never returned to the room.

Here is the full text of it.

Ziggy had returned. "She's not here yet," he said. "She should have been here by now." The commander left the room with Ziggy. This didn't look good.

"Officer Ziggarelli," the commander asked, "Can you confirm that this man is engaged to this woman?"

"Of course," Ziggy replied. "I was at their engagement party." He pulled out his cell phone and showed the commander the photo of me on my knee placing the ring on Shavonda's finger.

"I am so sorry," the commander said to me. "This never should have happened. We'll get to the bottom of it. Just be patient while I straighten this out."

No where does it say the commander returned nor does he leave the room with the commander just ziggy does.

I would advise you to rewrite this chapter. It sticks out as a sore thumb both with the previous chapters, and the characters nature.

Smoking while waiting for the trial case coming up and Jason as a certified driver is not something either one would do, and the main problem with this chapter. I also find the tub scenes and exhibitionism scenes as a mismatch with Jason's personality. He comes off as a careful and reflected man. No way he is going to jeopardize his entire life and his children by smoking.

Although I'm not finished with the story yet, I had to let you know that this is one of the best erotic stories I've ever read. Wonderful job!!!