All Comments on 'Art of Touch'

...appeling, and it seems a far better and more controlled use of form and language than I recall from reading you other poetry. This shows distinct promise from a developing poetic voice! Very good offering!

but I think with some minor changes to the punctuation you can make the poem flow more naturally. What you basically have is stanzas, with one four line sentence, followed by a two line sentence a structure you abandon on the last stanza. I think if you changed your punctuation on the first stanza to end the sentence after the third line and let the following three lines work as a sentence it would read better. The next two stanzas I think will flow better if they are simply read as one sentence. Try breaking it down that way and read it outloud and see how it sounds. With a little work this one will sparkle.

jim : )