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English
Clever...
...premise and pulled off with a fine 'war of words'. Very interesting and very enjoyable.
I still think
the giants were peace lovers and just got carried away having sex. Thanks for the fresh look!
A poem of many millenia...
the geological battle as it creates beauty out of the chaos. An interesting metaphor. One thing that grabbed me here was all the "ing"s. I think if you modify some of the words to a present tense it would make all this action that much more powerful: consider
"Arms and knees gouging the ground
as they rolled across its floor
thrashing"
Arms and knees gouge the ground
as they roll across its floor
thrashing...
and:
"spit drooling from their lips
from their exertion
sweat weeping from their pores"
spit drools from their lips
from their exertion
sweat weeps from their pores...
Try those few changes and change any past tense to present and see what you think. I think it will make the words more forceful.
An excellent poem here...
jim : )
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This poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 39,500 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.
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