Ok, Ok. I wrote this for my girlfriend as a quick e-mail and it is lacking in many of the facets that make up a good story, including character development (it was about the two of us, so none was needed). This is my first posting on Literotica and a learning experience, hence, my request for feedback. Based on comments from this and other stories, I attempted to redeem myself by improving subsequent narratives. So, I invite you to overlook this one and read my other stories since they have received much more positive feedback.
English
Loose end
What did the phone ringing have to do with anything? That seemed unclear.
Not superior but nice to read!!!!
What a memorably day!!! A story without cheating, cuckolding or other crap!!! Thats loving wives!!!
Sucked
Never write again . You sick at it ya cum eater . Here is my used condom . Chew on that it is full .
What was the plot?
Was there supposed to be any purpose or point to this story?
Sigh! about as erotic as
drinking flat champagne while reading a washing machine manual. Just rutting.
CATCH UP SEX 101
ne-er the couple should mingle. TK U MLJ LV NV
Ravish
Ravish, not ravage. Unless you want to be beaten up.
Author's Comments
Ok, Ok. I wrote this for my girlfriend as a quick e-mail and it is lacking in many of the facets that make up a good story, including character development (it was about the two of us, so none was needed). This is my first posting on Literotica and a learning experience, hence, my request for feedback. Based on comments from this and other stories, I attempted to redeem myself by improving subsequent narratives. So, I invite you to overlook this one and read my other stories since they have received much more positive feedback.
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