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Good flow, but kinda short....
As the title says, it has a great flow of pace. Which in turn made the chapter seem like a short read. Other than that, the story has tremendous potential. Keep up the good work.
Long or Short
It's a tough choice - I think better too short than too long, but you tell me.
Lydiayokomoto is a great storyteller
But I have to agree this one is a bit short (unlike Dmitri!). You have such inventive ideas and write so well, all I can do is ask for more. We didn't even get to find out about the magic in the panties! Show me everything, you know you want to do so!
Plus, don't quit at six Word pages, give us twelve to eighteen. Us older, long lasting guys need a little bit more attention, but we make it worth your while!
Nice set up!
This was a very nice setup for the next chapter and ? more to come. I'll be watching for the rest. Please don't take too long....
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