I really enjoyed this story. I think there was some redundance in terms of "ownership" etc in the text but really really loved the imagery in the sex scene and in the lead up. Great read.
by
Anonymous12/21/16
More Please!
Just want to start out by saying this was and incredible story. A sequel to this would be amazing! He obviously has some demons that I think she can help heal. The only thing I would change (and I'm just mentioning this because you said you wanted feedback) is that you should have had the characters speak to each other more. I can see that the lack of conversation added to the mystery of the story and his dominance, but spoken word can be dominant as well. Anyways, great story can't wait to read more from you! :)
Thanks, all, for your feedback, and yes, I do want to hear both positive and negative. I do have other stories I've written already, if you click on my user name above, you can access the other stories. Will be even more to come!
by
Anonymous01/17/17
Loved it!
Awesome story, definitely cannot wait to read more from you. Had me wishing that it was me up against that tree.
I really appreciate everyone's feedback, public and private. As requested, this work has now turned into a greater multi-part story. Part 2 is now published (look at the bottom right of this page under "Also In This Series"), Parts 3 and 4 are now finished and should be published next week, and Part 5 is now being written. Do hope you all enjoy, and please keep the comments coming, as that's how I become a better writer, and can put out better work.
by
Anonymous02/25/17
Rape. Not very sexy.
Any animal can lose control and fail to restrain themselves. Unbelievable exploration of what WOULDN'T happen when a victim of sexual assault is violated once again. This would absolutely crush a person in her position. Very disappointing direction for promising characters. Jahoo
Interesting, I'm wondering what led you to assume that she had been a previous victim of sexual assault. We haven't yet found out what the ghosts are of her past, but people are troubled by all sorts of things OTHER than sexual assault. I agree that a victim would not react like this. And do note I was very careful for him to ask her yes or no.
English
Good read
Vivid details and well written.
Great job,
-jinx
Leaves me aching for more
I really enjoyed this story. I think there was some redundance in terms of "ownership" etc in the text but really really loved the imagery in the sex scene and in the lead up. Great read.
More Please!
Just want to start out by saying this was and incredible story. A sequel to this would be amazing! He obviously has some demons that I think she can help heal. The only thing I would change (and I'm just mentioning this because you said you wanted feedback) is that you should have had the characters speak to each other more. I can see that the lack of conversation added to the mystery of the story and his dominance, but spoken word can be dominant as well. Anyways, great story can't wait to read more from you! :)
Thank you, keep it "coming"!
Thanks, all, for your feedback, and yes, I do want to hear both positive and negative. I do have other stories I've written already, if you click on my user name above, you can access the other stories. Will be even more to come!
Loved it!
Awesome story, definitely cannot wait to read more from you. Had me wishing that it was me up against that tree.
More!!!
Sequel please!!! Loved this story!!
Sequels now published
I really appreciate everyone's feedback, public and private. As requested, this work has now turned into a greater multi-part story. Part 2 is now published (look at the bottom right of this page under "Also In This Series"), Parts 3 and 4 are now finished and should be published next week, and Part 5 is now being written. Do hope you all enjoy, and please keep the comments coming, as that's how I become a better writer, and can put out better work.
Rape. Not very sexy.
Any animal can lose control and fail to restrain themselves. Unbelievable exploration of what WOULDN'T happen when a victim of sexual assault is violated once again. This would absolutely crush a person in her position. Very disappointing direction for promising characters. Jahoo
Interesting...
Interesting, I'm wondering what led you to assume that she had been a previous victim of sexual assault. We haven't yet found out what the ghosts are of her past, but people are troubled by all sorts of things OTHER than sexual assault. I agree that a victim would not react like this. And do note I was very careful for him to ask her yes or no.
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