The Observer

Wow!

You are a hell of a writer. Four stories and I've read them all. All different, all so well written, all just about as good as I've seen. This one reminds me of some early Steven King. I don't know how you packed so much into so few words, but you nailed every word. I would like to see more chapters about this house. The finale, where that statue of Cupid fell on her! How perfect and ironic was that? You're as talented as anyone we've seen here in like forever. Please give us more about this house! I wouldn't know how to give this one less than five. The perfect flash story.

Now that was amazing!

After waiting for weeks, this made it all worthwhile. This is why I come here. It was dark and sexy and the ending was everything I was looking for. My only question is, is it just an accident, or did the house act to protect the absentee husband? I guess I have another question. Is there more? I hope there's more. Prequels, sequels, there has to be more..

I don't know what to say

This is probably the most unique story I've ever seen on this site. I can't remember ever reading anything like this. Dude, you have a fan. You are a phenom. Humor, to drama, to humor, to this, almost Gothic horror story. I'm impressed. I rarely give fives. I gave this one a five. What an imagination. I'm in awe.

What the heck?

Where did this come from? What a terrific little tale. Little is an operative word here. I feel like the other comment. I want to know more about this. Don't get me wrong, this was just perfect, but I'd like to know the back story. It is different, I'll grant you that. Creepy, in a way, but in a good way. Your way with words is stunning. Here you go, Lordslamdawg. You want a wordsmith, this is as good as it gets. Would this make a good novel, or what? Full marks from me.

agree with the first comment

The work reminds me of early Stephen King, back when he was at what I think was his best.

Tried to give it a 5 but my

keyboard evidently felt differently. Ended up a 4. Thanks for sharing your talent. Well done.

Now that deserves a five

Pure talent and storytelling. One of the best I've read in a long time. You remind me of someone. Like the other guys said, Steven King, I guess.

Excellent Story

Maybe a bit dark (Previous commenter) but karma is a bitch. Would like to see more from you. Very good writing for a flash story. You really could flesh this out with a prequel type offering. Either way, thanks for posting. 5 stars!! Keep writing.

Terrific writing

Could have easily gone in several categories, but I like it here. 5* stuff.

Excellent!!!

What a wonderful holiday tale. And such a wonderful, happy ending. My first comment in a week. Wonderful!

Too much? Oh well.

Five Stars

Oh my !!!

Wow , this is actually spine tinglingly (?) great !
If this is a hint of this Author's repertoire , then the sky's the limit !
Someone mentioned Poe , I think I'm inclined to agree .
I think Literotica has seen the future , and its name is Whatdreamsmaycome !
Simply brilliant !
5 huge *'s

I THINK THE OBSERVER

will soon turn into the Avenger, TK U MLJ LV NV

Poe Would Be Pleased!

A well written tale with a macabre sense of balance an justice. Thanks!

I'll give this a six

Excellent writing, goodness to me, a decent writer on Literotica? Blimey! Whatever next? To parody Craig Revel-Horwood on the UK's 'Strictly' . . . FAB. U. LUST! Please continue.

A pleasant surprise.

No cucks were harmed in the writing of this tale. However the cheating wife and her lover were not so lucky. We've been seeing some different types of plots lately and that's good. This was very well written and entertaining. I thank the writer.

AMAZING! 5 & FAV

Best story in December. Thanks for sharing

NON EROTIC

Should have been in non erotic or fetish.

Very good story of a woman unworthy of the title wife

5*

Excellent Storyline & ORIGINAL

This was one of the best stories I've read recently, very original and thought provoking.

Thank You

This one was for those who like to burn the bitch.

Well the burn the bitch crowd loves this short story. Why they get off on someone's demise is beyond me. Does a cheater deserve death for having an affair. The husband could be a horrible human, who beat his wife or other reason or she just was so lonely there marriage was dead. There are so many reason but death,?

Brilliant...

... Maybe a little better suited for Halloween but brilliant nonetheless.

Add two more to the LW body count

This is without a doubt the wordsmithiest story written in this category in a long time. It seems as though the author painstakingly crafted every sentence in order to convey the highest-definition imagery and emotion in as few words as possible. On that level, this was brilliantly executed.

It's hard to believe this is the same guy who wrote "The Cage!" What a peculiar range. I do enjoy the unpredictablity of this author. It's a shame this story wasn't submitted in time for the Halloween contest, or he might be a few hundred dollars richer.

Enjoyed it

A nice flash tale.

Five Stars

Excellent!

As others have said, the ending with Cupid's arrow was a fitting finish.

Very Good Story

Well written and good.
I really don't like stories to end with death, because the "sinners" does not live to feel the pain and consequences. So in my view, it would have been better if at least, he survived, and that he saw the Cupids arrow penetrate her hart and with a broken neck sitting the rest of his life in a wheel chair, remembering how he helped killing a woman and a marriage. At least, that is what I hope happened.
5*

Nice flash story understanding that sometimes, many times, the need for in depth background is unnecessary to relate the intended story.

Wow!

Excellent story.

5*

Very well written!

Now that's capturing a very just event of justice!!

So very well written, not overly worded but it's quality over quantity and a well "painted" picture!
BRAVO!!!!

Re: anon - non-erotic

If you believe that this story is non-erotic, you either didn't read it or don't understand the definition of non-erotic.

Worthy of Edgar Allen Poe

Nice short story.

Perfect. Very clever and pregnant with symbolism. Congratulations.

Her contempt and ignorance: her husband's gift dress used as the wrapping paper for the gift of her sexual passion to an animal who will consume her lust then leave her another one of his wandering whores.

His arrogance and domination: carrying his conquest as a naked trophy, up to the altar of her marriage, where he will cut out the heart of her husband's love and consume it with the whore's encouragement and pleasure.

The house, the husband's castle, the sentinel of their home: it cannot save the marriage, but it can bring it to an ignoble and conclusive end the betrayal, leaving the criminals in a pile of humiliation and suffering that they would have gleefully heaped upon the cuckold husband.

And they never even got to fuck each other, but the house did.

Perfect. Thank you for your sharing your talent. And thank you for allowing us poor ignorant anonymouses to squeak our unworthy opinions.

Excellent flash story.

Highly descriptive, highly emotional, excellent pacing. I found the story to be a very good read.

Not all stories have to end with a happily ever after, and this is one that proves that point perfectly.

Thank you for writing and looking forward to your next story. 5 stars

This is a masterpiece!

I'm not going to try and dissect this, it is in it's whole...a masterpiece.

Yes!

One of the best stories in this group in a long long time. Sorry, I cannot give more than 5 stars.

Very good tale

At least some one is not posting fag cucky fag shit.

King? Kinda! EA Poe? Definitely!

Cable TV Real Estate shows often have wives who demand 'a house with character!'. Hope WDMC's 'trophy wife' appreciated the character in Hubby's house. Until she didn't!

The tale got more and more 'Raven'ish as it developed. Fortunately, I read through the comments before writing this. LSD nailed it (both times!)

Not sure if the details about Hubby and Scoundrel were too many ... or too few! That, and duration of pursuit, were a bit distracting from developing the tension within the room.

OTOH, I liked the occasional hints (bra-less and fancy panties) that Sweetie was not THAT much of a clueless victim.

People actually get off on snuff porn?

That is some wacko shit. Seek help.

This was gore-no graphy and in the wrong catagory.

Try non erotic or maybe keep it to yourself.

Cool 5*

A little something different on LW.

On this cold day with the wind blowing outside, a bit of architectural malevolence warms the crusty old souls of those who savor their vengeance.

Kudos!

Nice...

Justice; brought to you by a haunted house???

*****

Cold windy day with a fire crackling. A perfect little piece to add to the ambiance.
Nicely done. Thx.

5*

For creepiness well crafted.

Flash story to warm the hearts of the BTB crowd everywhere

Great flash story,

Very enjoyable "dark" tale

My reaction half way through the tale was that someone is trying to retell a story
from Poe's closet in modern language. The whole idea that she never put on her birthday present for her husband but was wearing it for this interloper had me boiling!
Great, Thanks.

@whackdoodle

You may well be the stupidest person who comments on this site. Are you just here to whack your doodle? The most brilliant thing I've seen in a long while and all you can do is complain that it doesn't give you enough material to whack your doodle. You either didn't read the same story I did, or you're such a fucking moron that you can't grasp what you're reading. Some people are just too stupid to grasp brilliance.

"Skillful advances were made, the lips and tongue caressed the moist folds, slipping up to find the erect nub of her clitoris, peeking from its hood, her arousal evident in her flushed condition and her slickness." That goes in non-erotic? The whole thing, leading up to the scene on the stairs was highly erotic. You're the problem here, not the story or the author. I gave this the top score and it deserved it.

To the other moron who talked about snuff porn, who snuffed anyone? They fell on the stairs. Sure, the house seems sentient and as if it punished the cheaters, but snuff? You're a fucking moron, too.

@LSD

Yes, of course, respectfully. I get the subjective part. It's just that lines such as, "The wind sighed in the eaves, the fire crackled and slowly died, its heartbeat stilled by the consumption of its fuel until only glowing coals remained," and "or like an 18th century farce, in which sly wit and jaded sophistication laugh together as they plunge their rapiers into the breast of innocent honesty and true love." They are so crafted that it's difficult for me to imagine that a writer could put it together better, or that we would find it on this site.

I just thought the visual imagery painted in the words was stunning, and starkly and horribly beautiful. My opinion, of course. You have yours.

Loved it and hated it

I would have to agree that this author extremely skilled and has a huge range in the types of stories that he produces . There is real skill here and I would have to agree that the imagery works because every single word is exactly chosen. But I also hate stories like this because things like this really don't happen in the real world. Houses are not really haunted ... there is no real Supernatural and God doesn't exist.

Loved the Story and Moral

3* for the Author 6* for the House.

Just one lesson...

Just one lesson: Never play and cheat in a very old mansion. This seems one of Alfred Hitchcock's short stories...3*