All Comments on 'The Observer'

You are a hell of a writer. Four stories and I've read them all. All different, all so well written, all just about as good as I've seen. This one reminds me of some early Steven King. I don't know how you packed so much into so few words, but you nailed every word. I would like to see more chapters about this house. The finale, where that statue of Cupid fell on her! How perfect and ironic was that? You're as talented as anyone we've seen here in like forever. Please give us more about this house! I wouldn't know how to give this one less than five. The perfect flash story.

After waiting for weeks, this made it all worthwhile. This is why I come here. It was dark and sexy and the ending was everything I was looking for. My only question is, is it just an accident, or did the house act to protect the absentee husband? I guess I have another question. Is there more? I hope there's more. Prequels, sequels, there has to be more..

This is probably the most unique story I've ever seen on this site. I can't remember ever reading anything like this. Dude, you have a fan. You are a phenom. Humor, to drama, to humor, to this, almost Gothic horror story. I'm impressed. I rarely give fives. I gave this one a five. What an imagination. I'm in awe.

Where did this come from? What a terrific little tale. Little is an operative word here. I feel like the other comment. I want to know more about this. Don't get me wrong, this was just perfect, but I'd like to know the back story. It is different, I'll grant you that. Creepy, in a way, but in a good way. Your way with words is stunning. Here you go, Lordslamdawg. You want a wordsmith, this is as good as it gets. Would this make a good novel, or what? Full marks from me.

The work reminds me of early Stephen King, back when he was at what I think was his best.

keyboard evidently felt differently. Ended up a 4. Thanks for sharing your talent. Well done.

Pure talent and storytelling. One of the best I've read in a long time. You remind me of someone. Like the other guys said, Steven King, I guess.

Maybe a bit dark (Previous commenter) but karma is a bitch. Would like to see more from you. Very good writing for a flash story. You really could flesh this out with a prequel type offering. Either way, thanks for posting. 5 stars!! Keep writing.

Could have easily gone in several categories, but I like it here. 5* stuff.

What a wonderful holiday tale. And such a wonderful, happy ending. My first comment in a week. Wonderful!

Too much? Oh well.

Five Stars

Wow , this is actually spine tinglingly (?) great !

If this is a hint of this Author's repertoire , then the sky's the limit !

Someone mentioned Poe , I think I'm inclined to agree .

I think Literotica has seen the future , and its name is Whatdreamsmaycome !

Simply brilliant !

5 huge *'s

will soon turn into the Avenger, TK U MLJ LV NV

A well written tale with a macabre sense of balance an justice. Thanks!

Excellent writing, goodness to me, a decent writer on Literotica? Blimey! Whatever next? To parody Craig Revel-Horwood on the UK's 'Strictly' . . . FAB. U. LUST! Please continue.

No cucks were harmed in the writing of this tale. However the cheating wife and her lover were not so lucky. We've been seeing some different types of plots lately and that's good. This was very well written and entertaining. I thank the writer.

Best story in December. Thanks for sharing

Should have been in non erotic or fetish.

5*

This was one of the best stories I've read recently, very original and thought provoking.

Thank You

Well the burn the bitch crowd loves this short story. Why they get off on someone's demise is beyond me. Does a cheater deserve death for having an affair. The husband could be a horrible human, who beat his wife or other reason or she just was so lonely there marriage was dead. There are so many reason but death,?

... Maybe a little better suited for Halloween but brilliant nonetheless.

This is without a doubt the wordsmithiest story written in this category in a long time. It seems as though the author painstakingly crafted every sentence in order to convey the highest-definition imagery and emotion in as few words as possible. On that level, this was brilliantly executed.

It's hard to believe this is the same guy who wrote "The Cage!" What a peculiar range. I do enjoy the unpredictablity of this author. It's a shame this story wasn't submitted in time for the Halloween contest, or he might be a few hundred dollars richer.

A nice flash tale.

Excellent!

As others have said, the ending with Cupid's arrow was a fitting finish.

Well written and good.

I really don't like stories to end with death, because the "sinners" does not live to feel the pain and consequences. So in my view, it would have been better if at least, he survived, and that he saw the Cupids arrow penetrate her hart and with a broken neck sitting the rest of his life in a wheel chair, remembering how he helped killing a woman and a marriage. At least, that is what I hope happened.

5*

Nice flash story understanding that sometimes, many times, the need for in depth background is unnecessary to relate the intended story.

Excellent story.

Very well written!

So very well written, not overly worded but it's quality over quantity and a well "painted" picture!

BRAVO!!!!

If you believe that this story is non-erotic, you either didn't read it or don't understand the definition of non-erotic.

Nice short story.

Her contempt and ignorance: her husband's gift dress used as the wrapping paper for the gift of her sexual passion to an animal who will consume her lust then leave her another one of his wandering whores.

His arrogance and domination: carrying his conquest as a naked trophy, up to the altar of her marriage, where he will cut out the heart of her husband's love and consume it with the whore's encouragement and pleasure.

The house, the husband's castle, the sentinel of their home: it cannot save the marriage, but it can bring it to an ignoble and conclusive end the betrayal, leaving the criminals in a pile of humiliation and suffering that they would have gleefully heaped upon the cuckold husband.

And they never even got to fuck each other, but the house did.

Perfect. Thank you for your sharing your talent. And thank you for allowing us poor ignorant anonymouses to squeak our unworthy opinions.

Highly descriptive, highly emotional, excellent pacing. I found the story to be a very good read.

Not all stories have to end with a happily ever after, and this is one that proves that point perfectly.

Thank you for writing and looking forward to your next story. 5 stars

I'm not going to try and dissect this, it is in it's whole...a masterpiece.

One of the best stories in this group in a long long time. Sorry, I cannot give more than 5 stars.

At least some one is not posting fag cucky fag shit.

Cable TV Real Estate shows often have wives who demand 'a house with character!'. Hope WDMC's 'trophy wife' appreciated the character in Hubby's house. Until she didn't!

The tale got more and more 'Raven'ish as it developed. Fortunately, I read through the comments before writing this. LSD nailed it (both times!)

Not sure if the details about Hubby and Scoundrel were too many ... or too few! That, and duration of pursuit, were a bit distracting from developing the tension within the room.

OTOH, I liked the occasional hints (bra-less and fancy panties) that Sweetie was not THAT much of a clueless victim.

That is some wacko shit. Seek help.

Try non erotic or maybe keep it to yourself.

A little something different on LW.

On this cold day with the wind blowing outside, a bit of architectural malevolence warms the crusty old souls of those who savor their vengeance.

Kudos!

Justice; brought to you by a haunted house???

Cold windy day with a fire crackling. A perfect little piece to add to the ambiance.

Nicely done. Thx.

For creepiness well crafted.

Great flash story,

My reaction half way through the tale was that someone is trying to retell a story

from Poe's closet in modern language. The whole idea that she never put on her birthday present for her husband but was wearing it for this interloper had me boiling!

Great, Thanks.

You may well be the stupidest person who comments on this site. Are you just here to whack your doodle? The most brilliant thing I've seen in a long while and all you can do is complain that it doesn't give you enough material to whack your doodle. You either didn't read the same story I did, or you're such a fucking moron that you can't grasp what you're reading. Some people are just too stupid to grasp brilliance.

"Skillful advances were made, the lips and tongue caressed the moist folds, slipping up to find the erect nub of her clitoris, peeking from its hood, her arousal evident in her flushed condition and her slickness." That goes in non-erotic? The whole thing, leading up to the scene on the stairs was highly erotic. You're the problem here, not the story or the author. I gave this the top score and it deserved it.

To the other moron who talked about snuff porn, who snuffed anyone? They fell on the stairs. Sure, the house seems sentient and as if it punished the cheaters, but snuff? You're a fucking moron, too.

Yes, of course, respectfully. I get the subjective part. It's just that lines such as, "The wind sighed in the eaves, the fire crackled and slowly died, its heartbeat stilled by the consumption of its fuel until only glowing coals remained," and "or like an 18th century farce, in which sly wit and jaded sophistication laugh together as they plunge their rapiers into the breast of innocent honesty and true love." They are so crafted that it's difficult for me to imagine that a writer could put it together better, or that we would find it on this site.

I just thought the visual imagery painted in the words was stunning, and starkly and horribly beautiful. My opinion, of course. You have yours.

I would have to agree that this author extremely skilled and has a huge range in the types of stories that he produces . There is real skill here and I would have to agree that the imagery works because every single word is exactly chosen. But I also hate stories like this because things like this really don't happen in the real world. Houses are not really haunted ... there is no real Supernatural and God doesn't exist.

3* for the Author 6* for the House.

Just one lesson: Never play and cheat in a very old mansion. This seems one of Alfred Hitchcock's short stories...3*

it is different, utilizing highly descriptive language and somewhat sinister and other worldly. But definitely a high quality piece for which I give 4*

You're looking for reality here?

I guess you didn't like "The Twilight Zone" or "Star Wars" or "Raiders of the Lost Ark" either?

There is a little unreality here. The difference is, this was meant to be here. All those Navy SEAL, super-spy, electronic wizard, assault everyone involved stories are unrealistic, but it's because they did it by accident. They didn't mean to be unrealistic, they just weren't good enough at writing to pull it off.

Faithful wife going to sloppy slut in an hour and cuckolding a man who was normal the day before? Talk about unrealistic, but it's by accident. They were going for realistic but didn't have the know how to get there.

This guy wrote something I think is spectacular with a haunted house. He did it on purpose. Real authors do things on purpose. Wannabes do it by accident. By the way, "HIV?" LOL, that's hilarious, dude.

I came late to reading the story after reading the multitude of favourable comments. A nicely-crafted story The comments were well deserved.

As others have said, WhatDreamsMayCome has provided readers with remarkable variety in just four stories. This one perhaps his best?

I stand in awe of this author's creativity.

Lue

This was riveting , certainly not something one would expect to find on a free erotica website .

To me , this author makes me think that we have a professional " ringer " amongst us ,Stephen King as some have said ? No in my mind this reads more like Dean Koontz straight from his " Book of Counted Sorrows " , which just so happens to be one of my guilty pleasures .

Whomever our newly arrived author is , professional who has a secret "sexy" alt , or just a very talented amateur , I certainly hope and pray ( that prayer is just to spite HIV) that he continues to share his wonderful creations with us . Top marks from me.

I thought this was neatly done and commendably brief but I don't believe in supernatural intervention so this does not do it for me.

Erotic Horror is probably your best bet.

Thanks for sharing.

This is too good, too polished to be just another guy.

This guy is someone with a huge writing background. I like the "sexy" alt theory. In that case, how embarrassing is it for a guy like Impo to be giving it a three. Imagine giving Dean Kontz a three!

I didn't expect to find this kind of quality here, either. I just read the stories and try to enjoy them, but this guy. There's something special. I read "Corporate Whores." Laptopwriter is right. This guy can write! "Corporate Whores" had me amazed at the amount of snark that had. I was chuckling all the way through. This sent the chills up my spine. What will the house do for an encore?

Amazing story. I gave it 5. Looking forward to more.

I am amazed at how much is inferred in such a short little tale of erotic horror. Others have praised the skill of the writer, I concur. Sparse, brief terse, evocative, and illustrative. The hints, asides, and inferences pull the reader in deeper and deeper till the whole scenario comes crashing down around the cheaters. The husband might not have been there, but they were not alone.

It is brilliantly written. A feel from a far distant style of writing. Something like Poe or some of the other Gothic writers of the 19th century.

Why do I get the sense of something even farther back "Even the trees and the rocks will shout out with voices "Here is a cheater, hiding behind me. Come and kill him!"

Except in this case, the house didn't need to yell. It took care of business itself.

its worth all the thumbing through page after page of dross on this site to find a real writer of quality, and not just another semi-literate stroke merchant. well done

the Supernatural awareness of the house, the weather and the space within combine in seemingly random events to settle the score for a betrayal as it progresses.

The finality of the answer is chilling and, as I said above, it leaves one feeling a little outside normal reality.

Thank you.

Please continue.

To all who have said LW just has the same old same old, who have asked for a story with imagination, here it is. This one is a solid 5!

To Harryin VA: Did you know you're mentioned in the Bible? It clearly says something like this, "The fool has said in his heart there is no God." Remember Tom Clancy's line--when you decide to kick the tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with his teeth.

If you're like me and don't read much over the weekend, don't miss this one. I was just scanning down the list and noticed I hadn't looked at this. Lots of people have made references to Poe, King, Kuntz, Hitchcock (I think).

That's not a joke. This guy is that good!!. I think it's like H.P. Lovecraft, or maybe Ambrose Bierce. That sense of brooding watchfulness was just powerful. I hope like hell you write more of this. If not, I'll look forward to reading something else by you, because you are a beast of a writer. Congrats.

Edgar Allan Poe would Love it. Keep at it.

I agree with you! I was disagreeing with Harry's criticism.

Re: HIV, hey, Harry chose the name, I'm sure it's not the first time he's seen it abbreviated like that!

This is the best story posted here since, well, forever. Come on, it's like those other guys said. You're some sort of pro, slumming with us here on literotica, right? If not, you should me. This was freaking erotic twilight zone.

So do I. Great story, imagination out the wazoo, a house that's awake, great writing, not a mistake anywhere in it, every word is the right word to make you see the picture. I don't know how it could be any better. Yes, I do, come to think of it. Tell the story of the great aunt the husband got the house from. Maybe how the place woke up. Are there more episodes? That's the only thing I think would improve this story. More stories. Or write a different one. I love everything you've written.

They do not get much better than this.

very good.

Lord! Finally, a story that's worth paying without a thought. This is the best written story of the year for the LW section. Technically, superbly constructed, full of allegories, with the correct words for each sentence to bring out the the scenes to the fore conveying the contrasting duality of the cold fury of the house versus the hot passion of the lovers. Undoubtedly, this author is a pro. The scene of the statue of cupid with the tip of the arrow piercing the cheating wife's breast is nothing but, short of masterful. I do agreed with some of the sentiments that their death is to easy of a punishment, a life of suffering and regrets works better to my likings.

I agree with @Carolinadreamer. I can't believe I just said that. I read these stories because of the drama. Unfortunately, day after day, you see the same old tired stories written. Plot after plot, exactly the same, whether it's cuck stories all the way over to BTB and RAAC. Just change the names and places and you've got the same old tired stuff. Then, something as fucking amazing as this comes along. It's like life gets pumped back into the place.

All the people, like me, who moan and bitch about the same old shit being written, this isn't the same old shit. Maybe this guy can keep up the amazing variety he's given us, maybe not. For now, this is, for me, the best story in this category, the freshest, for 2016. I wish I could give it ten stars. I don't know who down votes it, but you need to fucking stop. I want this guy around!

Most of these writers seem to have to write stories that piss people off to get this many comments. You seem to write stories that people love so much that they comment. I guess that's the difference between a real author and people who just write. From looking at your stories, you seem to get a 100 comments on a regular basis. Ninety five percent of them are positive. You're doing something right,

This story was, as the last comment said, a work of art. I've not read better writing on here, anyway. Even the guys that usually piss all over other authors love this story. This is how it should be done. Great story, great author. Keep then coming.

i must say a superb way of story please wright more i love to read your work

Excellent! All three characters were beutifully created: the woman, the man and the house.

Excellent writing

It's just too bad they didn't suffer longer. Great job

I loved every word.

Jedd Clampett

Wonderful tale beautifully told. So perish all seducers !

An absolute masterpiece. Every word added to the story, every nuance was just where and what it needed to be. Great work, please keep writing.

This is an absolute jewel of a story. Thanks.

What a great House

If i could give more stars I would.

best home security system ever.

Every cheater should die like the cheating cunt in this submission.

But there's gonna be one nasty mess for John to clean up! ;-)

I want it to be a whole movie !!

So much imagination ! So much skill as a writer !

Thank you for your labor

means no mess in court.

I enjoy reading about cheaters experiencing emotional pains; maybe a little physical pain, but not death. The punishment should fit the crime. Unless you're one sick bastard, what happened too the two cheaters didn't. You are a fine writer and I've enjoyed some of your other stories very much.

A bit on the strange side but leave it to nature to sometimes repair faults.

T.T.

Little bit different than what I've read on here, but good,,

One of the best stories I have read here, or anywhere, for that matter.

Perfection.

Talk about original and creative. This one has it. A fine tale where the house takes care of the 2 cheaters. As mentioned by others, this tale definitely follows the Poe and Hitchcock forte. Thank you for a wonderful and clever, imaginative, ingenious, innovative, inventive, and original story.

that's new. well done a more .. mystery even horror vs lw. better story than high dive. very original idea. id like to see the aftermath and how the discovery would play out in the same theme . not a sequel but a continuation from the husband and family viewpoint. maybe explore how and why the house reacted in that manner

. just a thought

👍👍👍👍👍👍👏👏👏

well done, quite original, it seems it would belong in two categories, Loving Wives and Erotic Horror

TY

EXCELLENTLY CRAFTED SPOOK OF A STORY. 5*****.

An excellent reminder of the need for prompt and thorough house maintenance.

Period.