All Comments on 'Andrea & Jack Ch. 01'

by BigJackHorner

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

You didn't do anything to me and i sure as hell didn't do anything to you.

"If only you knew that I am as turned on by your sexy attire as I am by your oral hygiene!"

WTF? who thinks that let alone writes it? 1*

worshipper622worshipper622over 7 years ago
Really needs work, but....

You have the outline of a pretty good story.

Like the previous commenter, I have a real problem with the attempt at inserting "flowery" crap where it doesn't belong.

While Andrea took care of Jack, you left us hanging. That's not the best idea considering that we're doing the voting.

Based on outline alone, I gave you 3*. I won't be so generous with CH. 2 if you continue the "hanging."

Anonymous
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