All Comments on 'His Fantasy Brought To Life'

by ksha

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6 Comments

FASfan over 7 years ago

Another marvellous story!

Thank you for sharing your stories with us, ksha, you write really well. Five stars and Season's Greetings to you!

Epiphany_Jones over 7 years ago

The story wasn't "bad", but the narration was like I was listening to a bad 1930-something radio show.

"He turns to see one of his coworkers standing behind him with her head close to his looking at his screen. Startled, he closes his search and shakily asks what she is doing. She lets out a short chuckle and returns to whatever she was doing previously."

It's all pure present tense description, and it's annoying as hell to read.