12 Steps to Renovation

What a pity you couldn't find an editor.

The basic premise of the story is undoubtedly one that is worth exploring but there are major problems with it that an editor would have quickly spotted. An author may just not be able to spot faults that are obvious to others - as here.
Typos, grammatical errors and terrible use of quotation marks are irritating, but for me the storyline was underdeveloped and much too disjointed. Some of the timelines within the story are so unrealistic that they beggar belief.

Awesome

If I wanted a professional author I would have gone to a book store! This was an awesome story that captivated me and kept me going for the length of the story. If you had somebody edit it, that would be great but the story was great!

Good story

Please continue, and give us a description of sexy Matthew -- some chest hair for his handsome and muscular chest, perhaps?

Excellant

At first it was a little hard to grasp what you were doing with the chapters, but it quickly became apparent that we were reading thoughts. As an editor I found some grammatical errors, but nothing to onerous. Story line was good. Looking forward to more stories, and if you are in need of an editor, I'm listed!

Nice story

This is your 2nd story I've enjoyed. I like your style of light romance with good humor thrown in.
Looking forward to enjoying more of your work.

Mixed feelings

The story went very well until the anal sex bit started. Then you lost me. How do you average a 5 star for 75% of the story then one star for the rest?
The writing is good without using an editor. Not sure what they might have added.

Almost, but not quite

The anal sex was an unnecessary distraction. Severe editing needed. It was hard to tell between spoken words, internal thought and backstory by the author.

Author notes

I debated on posting this under Anal or Romance, based on responses, I'll see about changing it. I did tag the story as such.

This was a bit of an experiment on my part on how to write a large amount of dialog, and include the thoughts of the protagonist.

Finally - if you are an editor and have room for another author please PM me. Otherwise, if you are not an editor, comments on editing, grammmar and structure will be taken with a grain of salt.

11 out of 12 quite good

I would agree that the story works well until step 10. I admit I found this section not fully to my liking in what had been posted as "romance" but this is not my main complaint.

I can live with minor typos and even a little anal diversion in a romance story but irrespective of the content to me this section, at around a third of the total story length, effectively unbalanced the rythm of the whole story line. Up to that point it was built up on short sections so a slightly longer section may have been better. e.g. possibly an editor would have suggested excising some of the repetatve exclamaitions?

Delightful Romance

This was a male fantasy come true. A wife without hangups and who appreciates you!

Wow!

A very interesting story. It really does not matter if the sex is anal (at first it was not), but I was surprised reading, it was like I was reading while taking a ride on a Bugatti Veyron at full speed, the vertigo feeling was incredible ...
As an experiment, it was a lot of fun. As a romance story (or anal, to the liking of each reader), I found this story too short and quick, although I suppose that was the reason for the experiment.
Particularly, he would keep the story in the section where he is, in the background, it is a fast-paced romance (he asks even in marriage), in which much sex is anal, but sex after all, and she was in love with He for at least 10 years.
5 * for you, and some tablet for the dizziness for me.:)
I apologize for my English (yet), is not my native language.

Great Fast-Paced Story

I enjoyed the ride with this story quite a bit. Yes, there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes - I didn't find them a major problem. I think that putting this in the Romance category was fine - perhaps you could add to the note up front and mention that there is anal sex for those who want to avoid it. I don't think this story really belongs in the Anal category...

I particularly enjoyed how profoundly competent Chrissy was and what a great boss Matt was - we need more people like that in the real world.

much enjoyed
could very easily be the outline for a story 8 or 9 pages longer

still even as a short , wham/bam/thankyou mam
flash story it works well