There is not one thing wrong with this story, spelling, grammar, length of story all great. One hell of a good read. Certainly requires, nay! demands a second or more chapters. This appears to be your first submission, I look forward to many more from you.
Thanks.
by
Anonymous12/29/16
Excellent!
If you hadn't mentioned it then I probably wouldn't have even noticed that English wasn't your native language. You write very well and I can't wait for part 2!
Very good start, can't wait to see were this goes. Hopefully a lot more ahead.
by
Anonymous12/29/16
Just Fantastic
Great story and it does require more but don't rush it and make it stupid. Glad there aren't any 14 inch cocks either. Keep it real.
by
Anonymous12/29/16
Hum....
Nice. Sweet.
Still, let's see how the story develops.
Many a potential have been ruined by absolute crappy follow ups.
So it's wait & see for me.
Thanks.
by
Anonymous12/29/16
good job cant wait for #2
honestly this was written better then some of the fluent English speakers on this site. if you hadn't said anything we would have had no idea. great job and cant wait for part 2.
This is a nice set-up. Well paced. Believable and likable characters. If you hadn't mentioned that English isn't your first language, I might not have noticed. You write better than a majority of the authors on this site. There are only a handful of awkward phrases. And nothing that was so odd as to pull my head out of the story.
There are two directions this story can flow (actually there are millions). But, you could have the story be sweet, sexy and romantic; or you could get VERY kinky and involve the parents. I have a feeling you will be writing a sweet, vanilla story, and I'm fine with that.
Welcome to Literotica! You're off to a great start! I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Someone else mentioned how well written this was. Thank you for your effort! I noticed very few mistakes. Some say it makes no difference, but it does to some folks.
Great job.
by
Anonymous12/30/16
VERY WELL DONE
As she told Tom, don't apologize for your English... It's fine, better than most authors on this site. The story is well crafted, nicely paced, very plausible (unlike many others), and erotic. So it begs to be continued... :-)
Yes, well written and a story that has even more potential .... now that they have masturbated together; maybe Anna might be interested in doing more. Jerking him off while out for a swim or sucking him off ?? Tom, most likely would like to kiss her, feel up her body and eat her out ?? So many, nice ideas !! Cannot wait for the next chapter or 2 -- very arousing !! Thank you.
Please keep these two lovers going... And give Tom a bit of chest hair -- he seems a very sexy and muscular young man. I'm sure Anna will go wild over his chest, his hair, his abs, etc. Go for it, Anna!
by
Anonymous01/01/17
This may be your first story, but I hope the continuation will be coming soon.Very well done.
Although I frowned a bit at the start, I mean, there is just one room and one bed? To convenient for my taste, It would have made it some more believable when it was all unplanned, like one room completely wrecked by some animal or something, forcing them to either leave or share the room. Also that could have made some more story, them discussing how to sleep, maybe even having a little fight or argument over it, being basically strangers and all.
But that aside, I liked it and think it earns 5*
Thank you
by
Anonymous01/03/17
Fun times
My step brother and I became lovers on a family camping trip. We have ended up together after becoming very close in that tent. And
Ok it has been almost a month has passed sense you posted this you posted this, Waiting o pins and needles for the next chapter, and the next chapter......
English
Part 2 please!
Well written and i enjoyed it.
Encore Please
I'll be checking everyday for part 2
Great story
Well written. Waiting for chapter 2. Thanks
WOW!!!!!!!!
There is not one thing wrong with this story, spelling, grammar, length of story all great. One hell of a good read. Certainly requires, nay! demands a second or more chapters. This appears to be your first submission, I look forward to many more from you.
Thanks.
Excellent!
If you hadn't mentioned it then I probably wouldn't have even noticed that English wasn't your native language. You write very well and I can't wait for part 2!
Fantastic!
Great story! Please continue!
Great start
Very good start, can't wait to see were this goes. Hopefully a lot more ahead.
Just Fantastic
Great story and it does require more but don't rush it and make it stupid. Glad there aren't any 14 inch cocks either. Keep it real.
Hum....
Nice. Sweet.
Still, let's see how the story develops.
Many a potential have been ruined by absolute crappy follow ups.
So it's wait & see for me.
Thanks.
good job cant wait for #2
honestly this was written better then some of the fluent English speakers on this site. if you hadn't said anything we would have had no idea. great job and cant wait for part 2.
5star
Sm grt fucking coming up sister
Well done
This is a nice set-up. Well paced. Believable and likable characters. If you hadn't mentioned that English isn't your first language, I might not have noticed. You write better than a majority of the authors on this site. There are only a handful of awkward phrases. And nothing that was so odd as to pull my head out of the story.
There are two directions this story can flow (actually there are millions). But, you could have the story be sweet, sexy and romantic; or you could get VERY kinky and involve the parents. I have a feeling you will be writing a sweet, vanilla story, and I'm fine with that.
Welcome to Literotica! You're off to a great start! I am looking forward to the next chapter.
I agree....
Someone else mentioned how well written this was. Thank you for your effort! I noticed very few mistakes. Some say it makes no difference, but it does to some folks.
Great job.
VERY WELL DONE
As she told Tom, don't apologize for your English... It's fine, better than most authors on this site. The story is well crafted, nicely paced, very plausible (unlike many others), and erotic. So it begs to be continued... :-)
THANKS for sharing your fantasy with us.
Excellent. Please continue.
Great job. Hope you write more.
Yes, well written and a story that has even more potential .... now that they have masturbated together; maybe Anna might be interested in doing more. Jerking him off while out for a swim or sucking him off ?? Tom, most likely would like to kiss her, feel up her body and eat her out ?? So many, nice ideas !! Cannot wait for the next chapter or 2 -- very arousing !! Thank you.
Great start
I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Sexy kids
Please keep these two lovers going... And give Tom a bit of chest hair -- he seems a very sexy and muscular young man. I'm sure Anna will go wild over his chest, his hair, his abs, etc. Go for it, Anna!
This may be your first story, but I hope the continuation will be coming soon.Very well done.
Nice start
Although I frowned a bit at the start, I mean, there is just one room and one bed? To convenient for my taste, It would have made it some more believable when it was all unplanned, like one room completely wrecked by some animal or something, forcing them to either leave or share the room. Also that could have made some more story, them discussing how to sleep, maybe even having a little fight or argument over it, being basically strangers and all.
But that aside, I liked it and think it earns 5*
Thank you
Fun times
My step brother and I became lovers on a family camping trip. We have ended up together after becoming very close in that tent. And
waiting!!
Ok it has been almost a month has passed sense you posted this you posted this, Waiting o pins and needles for the next chapter, and the next chapter......
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