It had all to be a so-so story, but then the writer destroyed it: 1st - The husband talked with everyone but his wife about the swinging, not before nor after. How can that be possible? 2nd - From swinging they went for the wife to become a sex slave for the other wife, again from nowhere, swinging forgotten. And both were cool with that not having the smallest of the doubts where this could lead their marriage and their life. I understand this isn't the end of this story, but all the signs point that each part will be worst than this one...1*
by
Anonymous01/08/17
Literotica should have a different area for Gay Cuck Stories
While this story has potential, it seems a little rushed -- as if you skipped over several important parts. The most important is the conversation between Jack and Anna. Married couples normally don't leap into bed with other couples without a considerable amount of discussion beforehand.
As readers, we don't know much about any of these characters, so it's difficult to relate with them and invest ourselves in their actions. So far, there is no tension or drama. It's just four people having fun.
Keep writing, and keep working on character and plot development. It'll come to you. Thanks for taking the time to write and post this.
by
Anonymous01/08/17
Read more, write better. Lots of extraneous and pointless verbage.
What does their athleticism have to do with anything? What difference does it make where they went to college? Is there some reason we need to know what their professions are, what they look like, or how big anyone's cock or tits are? Unless those details feed into the plot or the action or the characters' behavior. I did think it was odd that while the guys do athletic stuff the women, go shopping. Guess they didn't want to mess up their hair, or come home smelling like sweat.
How this new couple end up becoming swingers with nary a word of discussion or concern or setting limits was totally unbelievable. And of course swinging leads right into Lesbianism, right? Bet you can't wait till chapter two, where you have the two guys in the 69 position sucking each others cocks (Feeling tingly and aroused?)!
I suspect this will get worse, but hope I am wrong.
Read more, write better, lose the queer cuck urge.
by
Anonymous01/09/17
this isnt swinging its seduction of a wife, making her a couples sex slave
the husband is an idiot 2*
by
Anonymous01/10/17
1*
No communication between Jack & Anna before they started this and Linky & Paul where having the same discussions with both of them separately and didn't in courage them to take to each other indicates that they only care about their own pleasure. Anna is now cheating with Linky and loves to be their sex slave. Soon to include Paul leaving Jack out in the cold. Not a good start to swinging.
I really enjoyed this story and we have to remember to encourage first-time authors on here or the site will stagnate! I loved the whole scenario........keep it up RR50!!
English
It had all to be a so-so story, but...
It had all to be a so-so story, but then the writer destroyed it: 1st - The husband talked with everyone but his wife about the swinging, not before nor after. How can that be possible? 2nd - From swinging they went for the wife to become a sex slave for the other wife, again from nowhere, swinging forgotten. And both were cool with that not having the smallest of the doubts where this could lead their marriage and their life. I understand this isn't the end of this story, but all the signs point that each part will be worst than this one...1*
Literotica should have a different area for Gay Cuck Stories
# 1
Overall not bad
Could use a fair amount of editing, however.
Welcome to Lit
While this story has potential, it seems a little rushed -- as if you skipped over several important parts. The most important is the conversation between Jack and Anna. Married couples normally don't leap into bed with other couples without a considerable amount of discussion beforehand.
As readers, we don't know much about any of these characters, so it's difficult to relate with them and invest ourselves in their actions. So far, there is no tension or drama. It's just four people having fun.
Keep writing, and keep working on character and plot development. It'll come to you. Thanks for taking the time to write and post this.
Read more, write better. Lots of extraneous and pointless verbage.
What does their athleticism have to do with anything? What difference does it make where they went to college? Is there some reason we need to know what their professions are, what they look like, or how big anyone's cock or tits are? Unless those details feed into the plot or the action or the characters' behavior. I did think it was odd that while the guys do athletic stuff the women, go shopping. Guess they didn't want to mess up their hair, or come home smelling like sweat.
How this new couple end up becoming swingers with nary a word of discussion or concern or setting limits was totally unbelievable. And of course swinging leads right into Lesbianism, right? Bet you can't wait till chapter two, where you have the two guys in the 69 position sucking each others cocks (Feeling tingly and aroused?)!
I suspect this will get worse, but hope I am wrong.
Read more, write better, lose the queer cuck urge.
this isnt swinging its seduction of a wife, making her a couples sex slave
the husband is an idiot 2*
1*
No communication between Jack & Anna before they started this and Linky & Paul where having the same discussions with both of them separately and didn't in courage them to take to each other indicates that they only care about their own pleasure. Anna is now cheating with Linky and loves to be their sex slave. Soon to include Paul leaving Jack out in the cold. Not a good start to swinging.
Enjoyed it!
I really enjoyed this story and we have to remember to encourage first-time authors on here or the site will stagnate! I loved the whole scenario........keep it up RR50!!
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