... for the conclusion of this tale and I'm afraid it is a huge disappointment. The author only covered one scene - the confrontation - and it is a woeful resolution for all the humiliating events built up in the first chapter. There should have been more; perhaps the author could have written about the insecure protagonist's renaissance by reconnecting with Janet being one example, alas it seems the author was only focused on the betrayal.
Perhaps there is a third chapter, but as chapters go, this was a poor sequel.
Great ending, even if the delivery was a little flat. Drugs (and alcohol) are a lame excuse, and are only valid if the victim is unconscious or paralyzed. This bitch was in full heat, and the drugs just help take her in a direction she already wanted to go.
Time to give Jill(?) from the ski lodge a call, and move on.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
1 star
No wimps my ads. He ran away like a little birch.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Pretty good
Seemed like a reasonable reaction. Poor decisions have consequences. I liked how he was able to stand his ground. 4*
Please tell me there is one more chapter for closure. This just felt like you left the character's life's hanging in limbo. Why did Rose not go to the police? Aftter all the drugs were administered without her knowledge and she was raped. There are two victims here and no justice! like I said no closure . Friends forever???
Its seem to be a good story i think Pete make a right choice she deliberately humiliate him in front of his new boy toy she know very well what step she tuck and way i believe Pete make good and fine choice now he have to look in to that new girl wich give him courage and care in bad time
and i request you please write more story and don't make your hero wimp or week if some body have little large cock and strong body its not meen that he have all right's for every women size don't mater what mater is love and care and kick every bitch in ass yes if she try to humiliate his man by any reason of some one have big cock so what its not mean that other became his slave no way
the good we once had. Maybe someday in the future when you have hated me enough we can be friends again. It would kill me if I knew that I have lost your friendship forever."
Yeah. She rips his heart out, pisses all over their relationship and shits in the hole in his chest. She came to him marked up by her lover, and wants to be friends???
What is it with these iditiotic women? If you're going to crash and burn your relationship at least give the guy his fucking dignity and get out of his life. I just can't believe that these affair stories are all about being seduced. Drugs or no.
Women don't behave like that. What makes us cheat is something is missing or we just want out. So if you're gonna go, go.
All this "let's just be friends" shit is just nonsense.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Clean up on aisle- SIR FUCK UP!
THIS IS A LOAD OF CRAP, PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Meh
Her justifications are just a HUGE pile of bullshit. The guy drugged her for days? Really? If the wimp was the love of her life, how come she had told the girls that they were just friends with benefits with "no promises" between them?
It ended the only way it could end, but it fell kind of flat. You could use an editor. ***
Good Intentions, Iffy Execution Carry the Day for Both Innasipo and His Fictional Sweet , Young Thing
This lost weekend due to Jules spiking drinks for entire interim is a dog that won't hunt. Author came up with a excellent premise and has flubbed up the resolution. Well this is an amateur writing site, so that will happen. There are magazines and books that Innasipo should peruse to.further lnext attempt to craft next short story. A sympathetic editor wouldn't hurt eìther. I wish him luck and thank him for effort expended.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Pete
Ya Done good, Pardner...
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Fiction
Part one was enticing enough to wait for part two, which was a dismal disappointment. Just about the only thing that rang true were his descriptions of his confusion and hurt. The rest was totally two-dimensional, unrealistic content, style, and plot. In such situations no one in human form could ever resemble what you made of either character, let alone the cognitive aspects of their conversation.
Perfectly painted story. Finally a real man character in this God forsaken cuckold world
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Yep
Too many males have hit the dust just as the male in this tale... maybe your once lover did not go into such detail but you could read between the lines 4 stars
may mean that there is more. She will save him from a burning wreck or cure him of cancer and they will fall back in love. This story is like Freddy Krueger... it will never die.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Hmmm
Not sure about the cliffhanger. I'll wait and see about the next chapter. 4*
"Oh my god no, no, no! Please, no, you can't think that I wanted to hurt you."
WTF?!? Are all women so stupid? Lets see, I didn't want to hurt you but I fucked another guy and humiliated you in front of everyone else, but I sure didn't intend to hurt you. How was I, stupid bimbo that I am, to know fucking other guys would hurt you?
"Oh please Pete, believe me, I didn't want to hurt or humiliate you in any way. I could never hurt you on purpose. I didn't plan for any of it to happen. And I don't want to leave you, I don't love him, I love only you. We had sex only one night and not after, and I won't ever have sex with him again."
Why do women characters always say that - I love only you, it was just hot sex with him. WTF has love got to do with it? First, why do women assume guys care more about being loved than having rip roaring hot nasty sex - with as many hot nasty women as possible? Get a clue. We guys aren't interested in love when the sex isn't there. We aren't women. Second, if we have to give up other women to have you then you damn well are going to give up other men and give us all the hot nasty sex we want or you can be replaced.
Hello Janet. Yeah, it's Pete. How about dinner and dancing. My knee is all better now... ;)
Thankfully not a WACC nor RAAC but not BTB either... Needs a little something. Blond guy gets eaten by a pack of wolves... After being drugged by Pete and tied to a tree... While sweetie Rose watches from a cabin... And is then gang-raped by characters out of Deliverance.
Stupid women characters? Well it is a genre mostly about cheating women after all! Cheating is always a selfish act. Selfishness that becomes extreme as in cheating, is self destructive. In this case this woman traded a long term relationship for a weekend fling. Years of time invested for a few days of lust and ego gratification. Even a long term affair of months, does not compare to years of marriage. That is why cheaters try to hide their cheating, they do not want to lose their long term investment - at least until they come up with a plan to trade those years for cash in a divorce settlement. Sadly, in this day and age you had better look at your girlfriend or wife as a business deal. You need to buy insurance and hedge your bets. A person does not have to be "stupid" to cheat. The requirements for cheating are: a lack of personal honor, an arrogant attitude, (My definition: when selfishness exceeds a persons intelligence and over rides their training.) You can screen people in your life by noticing poor decisions that they make based on ego and a lack of honor resulting in unethical behavior.The good news in this case is that he is aware of her character and they have not married. He is moving away from her emotionally and if he uses his head - he will see that she is unfit to be a wife and would be a disaster as a mother. He will lose his anger towards her and his hurt and actually feel grateful to her. He learned that he could love a woman from her and he learned that she put her selfishness before her love for him. So, with what he has learned he has the chance to go off and find a woman with self control that will make a decent wife.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Why?
Why allow yourself to sit there and be humiliated even more by her lies in such detail?
That hurt this chapter more than anything. If he was going to throw her to the curb, than why listen to more of her bullshit?
I said in part 1 that for me it had a good ending...And I was right! This part didn't add anything to the story. She lost her boyfriend/love when she took him in that trip, knowing she was going to fuck the other guy and when she completly forget about her boyfriend being there...However 3*, just because he didn't receded in his decision, not even with her "corcodile tears" and false remorse...Will this have a part 3? I hope not with her...
by
Anonymous01/10/17
matt black
trolls the comments and then shoots his mouth off about other people and has the gall to call them trolls. The story was in my opinion good until you made him out to be an idiot. Comment on that matt you idiot.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Sorry the ending sucked, she got away with everything
here is your story in one sentence, Why did you leave, I only fucked him and humiliated you?
Is Long from over First Janet from the Lodge should be appearing on the Horizon.
Not to mention her Female friends who know him as a Friend and have feelings for him. But he should really rub her Nose in the fact he has gotten on with his life.
as they say Live Better is the Best Revenge.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Still doesn't make sense
The explanation still makes no sense. If she was horny and her boyfriend was there. Why not have sex with her boyfriend. It was not like they couldn't be together. Why would she not know she was ignoring him. Finally, if the group was going to the dog sled, but only two could go, then why didn't they all leave. How can she invite him and not realize they hadn't spent time together. How many guys would sit back and be ignored by their girlfriend, and never say anything. This was weak!
by
Anonymous01/10/17
What wimp.
Just another RAAC bullshit effort.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Friends forever
Please tell me he somehow makes a new friend forever. There is no redeeming aspects of this characters. She will always be able to make friends because she is pretty and outgoing, it doesn't matter how mean and small minded she is people will be drawn. Sure, down the road a ways she may get burned but her friends will pick her up and reinforce her attitude towards her whimp boyfriends. Best case scenario is she lose her beauty somehow and realize how petty she is then finds a humble man to love her forever. As for the boyfriend, Run! If he doesn't get away then he will forever live in her shadow and will come to her rescue anytime she needs saving only to go back to being small and petty as soon as she gets over her pain.
I understand people make mistakes, friends take advantage of each other but, there is no coming back from this type of betrayal. If being just her boyfriend wasn't enough to keep her legs closed then no ring will do it for her. It seems she is only an opportunist friend and kind of gets off on humiliating friends. No drug in the world will make a girl horny specifically for only one person so if this drug made her horny then she should have been all over everyone including her boyfriend. Then she comes to his room to kind of apologize and had to display all the "love bite" marks all over her neck? Please!
Just let this poor character fall in love with another girl, one closer to his personality and looks. It's apparent that he is insecure and that will never go away no matter how much his girlfriend/wife says she loves him. Only way this girl could be his best friend is to leave him alone, forever!
Good effort, especially as this is the author's first story. I don't think there is any need for a sequel, and I don't think Rose "got away with it" as some commentators have stated.
Coming from a different culture, writing in English I think you told a good story. I hate to think what a story I had written would look like in Scandinavian.
I don't know if this was the end though, there are still a lot of ways this story could go. If it is the end you should have let us know positively.
Thanks for the effort, its still a good story.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
@anon Re: What wimp.
You said:
Just another RAAC bullshit effort.
RAAC means Reconciliation At All Costs, which is not what we have here. Yet. Still, the guy is a wimp.
@Innasipo
Not so bad first effort, but you need an editor. A couple of lines of introduction when you start a story would be useful. At least to know how many chapters there are in total.
Is this story finished?
Didnt' she already explicitly have a conversation with her friends that she and the protagonist weren't really committed and were more just extended friends, so it wasn't cheating?
Ie, she planned it.
The question is still, why did she push him to go with the group at all if she intended to have a fling?
Is he a wimp? Yes. When a man is humiliated and can't walk away with his head held high he is a wimp. If the jerk drugged her, is he under arrest? Did all the people who "took Pete's side" gang up and beat the crap out of Jules? Beyond the break up, which Pete is suffering equally, what has Rose suffered?
All we get throughout the story is Pete suffering and nothing ever happens to the perpetrators. He's a wimp and the story leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Similar to me, 30 years ago
My girlfriend had been my next door neighbor and we were engaged, to be married in forty-five days. She talked me into a 3 day rafting trip with some of our wedding party and friends who were mostly hers. What angered and worried me, was a boyfriend of hers, during a time when we argued and broke up in high school for a couple years, somehow ended up going.
During that time Tom had popped her cherry and fucked her regularly, although mutual friends said she fucked him regularly, she wanted it as much and often as he did. Tom ended up cheating on her, they broke up and we resumed our friendship.
My first indication something was wrong, was when I went for a dip in the river and Joli didn't come along. When I returned, she was sitting with Tom as though it were a normal thing and they were both drinking. I took a beer and sat across from them, looking pointedly at Joli, who ignored me and stayed leaned against Tom.
That night she came to our tent late, hammered to the point she puked everywhere. Yet the next day was almost as bad, she swam with Tom, they ate togather and even once I found them napping on the same towel. I grew angry at first, then scared, and finally sad. That second night I went to bed early and yes, watched from inside the tent as Joli made a spectacle of herself with Tom in front of her and our friends. With me not nearby, I watched as they kissed and fondled one another, in full view of everyone. I was sickened and finally lay back to sleep but of course, couldn't.
Joli didn't return to our tent that night and I was packed and ready to leave at daylight. Our river journey took us along a highway for a distance and it wasn't far. Letting one of the guides now I was leaving, he understood, I hiked up to the road and hitched a ride back to our car. Joli could find her own ride home.
She stayed the next night too, the guides wouldn't let anyone else leave, especially a woman. Our mutual friends told me she came to her senses and realized she was in deep shit after finding out I left. She didn't sleep the final night with Tom, she stayed with her maid of honor, or I should say, the girl that was going to be her maid of honor.
By the time she returned home, we didn't live together, her parents were livid. I'd already called them and everyone else we had invited and told them the wedding had been called off. Deposits were lost and she eventually had to pay her parents back. Me? I ignored her. When she called, I didn't answer the phone. When she stopped by, I had changed the locks, her key no longer worked and I refused to open the door.
It took her about a week before she feared we were over forever, a month before she knew it was true. I refused to speak to her, even though we lived in a small town. A town where everyone knew what had happened. She sent letters, I returned them unopened. She sent her friends, whom I told it they mentioned her name I would throw them out my door.
Joli went on to marry Tom, the following summer. Her parents were so angry with her for what she did to me, they told her to find her own place. That place was moving in with Tom and 12 months later, they went to Vegas and came back married. It was pretty uncomfortable for me, I worked for George, her dad.
I found a job in Alaska working up at Prudhoe Bay in the oil fields, first as a grunt and then worked my way up. All my money went into an account administered by a company investor and everything I put in, the company matched. After five years I was what, at one time, I would have considered a wealthy man. After ten years oil flow had slowed enough our jobs were over but I was definitely comfortable.
Revenge is a life well-lived. And I lived it. Returning to my hometown, my parents and family still lived there, I purchased a nice piece of property and built a small home, all in cash. I met a girl on the job in Prudhoe and she came home with me. She was a scientist and I was the luckiest man on earth. We married and waited another five years before beginning our family.
Joli? To this day, I've never spoken a word to her. Violet knows my past and our story and she's spoken to Joli, although never acknowledging she knows of our past. You see, Joli works at the local grocery store and Violet sees her almost every time she goes in.
Tom and Joli were married for two years before they separated the first time after he cheated again, they had four kids before she finally divorced him. I hardly recognized her when I returned, life and motherhood hadn't treated her well. When we were together she was about 105 pounds at 5'3, when I returned she was perhaps twice that weight, if not more. I hope she's happy with her choices, I know I certainly am.
Really no other way you could have ended it. Thanks for posting! If there's a follow-up, I hope he hooks up with the other girl.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
FYI, Punctuating Dialogue
As an FYI, when one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed. If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative.
When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.
by
Anonymous01/10/17
was hoping for a better ending.
clearly she was lying, thre's no way she didn't know her behavior was cruel and humiliating to him. "netorare" unrelenting cruelty turns her on and she needs taking down.
part 3 maybe?
".I have never lied to you. Well actually I have..."
oh my god.
then there was this LIE by the cunt... "Oh my god, I didn't see it. Oh no, you can't think that I was laughing at you, please tell me you don't think so." She gasped and put her hand on her mouth."
if you go back and re read chapter 1 of this turd of a story you will see she was looking right at Jules and Pete
the cunt even claims.. without no proof at all that somehow the other guy gave hr so low does fate rape drug over the course of 2 days
She CLAIMS to have all this love for Pete BUT she shows up at his door with loves bites and marks all over her body?
English
Unbelievable
Please attempt to have characters with IQ's larger than their shoesize.
at least he is not a complete wimp
Interesting Finish***
Thanks for the read!!!
Waited in anticipation ...
... for the conclusion of this tale and I'm afraid it is a huge disappointment. The author only covered one scene - the confrontation - and it is a woeful resolution for all the humiliating events built up in the first chapter. There should have been more; perhaps the author could have written about the insecure protagonist's renaissance by reconnecting with Janet being one example, alas it seems the author was only focused on the betrayal.
Perhaps there is a third chapter, but as chapters go, this was a poor sequel.
1*
Incomplete Stars for an incomplete story
There needs to be more to this.
No Wimps Here!
Great ending, even if the delivery was a little flat. Drugs (and alcohol) are a lame excuse, and are only valid if the victim is unconscious or paralyzed. This bitch was in full heat, and the drugs just help take her in a direction she already wanted to go.
Time to give Jill(?) from the ski lodge a call, and move on.
1 star
No wimps my ads. He ran away like a little birch.
Pretty good
Seemed like a reasonable reaction. Poor decisions have consequences. I liked how he was able to stand his ground. 4*
More???
Please tell me there is one more chapter for closure. This just felt like you left the character's life's hanging in limbo. Why did Rose not go to the police? Aftter all the drugs were administered without her knowledge and she was raped. There are two victims here and no justice! like I said no closure . Friends forever???
hello
Its seem to be a good story i think Pete make a right choice she deliberately humiliate him in front of his new boy toy she know very well what step she tuck and way i believe Pete make good and fine choice now he have to look in to that new girl wich give him courage and care in bad time
hello
and i request you please write more story and don't make your hero wimp or week if some body have little large cock and strong body its not meen that he have all right's for every women size don't mater what mater is love and care and kick every bitch in ass yes if she try to humiliate his man by any reason of some one have big cock so what its not mean that other became his slave no way
Emotional Blackmail 101
the good we once had. Maybe someday in the future when you have hated me enough we can be friends again. It would kill me if I knew that I have lost your friendship forever."
Yeah. She rips his heart out, pisses all over their relationship and shits in the hole in his chest. She came to him marked up by her lover, and wants to be friends???
What is it with these iditiotic women? If you're going to crash and burn your relationship at least give the guy his fucking dignity and get out of his life. I just can't believe that these affair stories are all about being seduced. Drugs or no.
Women don't behave like that. What makes us cheat is something is missing or we just want out. So if you're gonna go, go.
All this "let's just be friends" shit is just nonsense.
Clean up on aisle- SIR FUCK UP!
THIS IS A LOAD OF CRAP, PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
Meh
Her justifications are just a HUGE pile of bullshit. The guy drugged her for days? Really? If the wimp was the love of her life, how come she had told the girls that they were just friends with benefits with "no promises" between them?
It ended the only way it could end, but it fell kind of flat. You could use an editor. ***
Good Intentions, Iffy Execution Carry the Day for Both Innasipo and His Fictional Sweet , Young Thing
This lost weekend due to Jules spiking drinks for entire interim is a dog that won't hunt. Author came up with a excellent premise and has flubbed up the resolution. Well this is an amateur writing site, so that will happen. There are magazines and books that Innasipo should peruse to.further lnext attempt to craft next short story. A sympathetic editor wouldn't hurt eìther. I wish him luck and thank him for effort expended.
Pete
Ya Done good, Pardner...
Fiction
Part one was enticing enough to wait for part two, which was a dismal disappointment. Just about the only thing that rang true were his descriptions of his confusion and hurt. The rest was totally two-dimensional, unrealistic content, style, and plot. In such situations no one in human form could ever resemble what you made of either character, let alone the cognitive aspects of their conversation.
The Art of Being MALE!
Perfectly painted story. Finally a real man character in this God forsaken cuckold world
Yep
Too many males have hit the dust just as the male in this tale... maybe your once lover did not go into such detail but you could read between the lines 4 stars
It is chapter two, which
may mean that there is more. She will save him from a burning wreck or cure him of cancer and they will fall back in love. This story is like Freddy Krueger... it will never die.
Hmmm
Not sure about the cliffhanger. I'll wait and see about the next chapter. 4*
Immature
Sorry, these two have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old.
A good second chapter
Further chapters would be welcome.
And ignore the trolls.
An anon said he ran away like a tree?
Ha hah ha! Too funny!
Stupid women characters...
"Oh my god no, no, no! Please, no, you can't think that I wanted to hurt you."
WTF?!? Are all women so stupid? Lets see, I didn't want to hurt you but I fucked another guy and humiliated you in front of everyone else, but I sure didn't intend to hurt you. How was I, stupid bimbo that I am, to know fucking other guys would hurt you?
"Oh please Pete, believe me, I didn't want to hurt or humiliate you in any way. I could never hurt you on purpose. I didn't plan for any of it to happen. And I don't want to leave you, I don't love him, I love only you. We had sex only one night and not after, and I won't ever have sex with him again."
Why do women characters always say that - I love only you, it was just hot sex with him. WTF has love got to do with it? First, why do women assume guys care more about being loved than having rip roaring hot nasty sex - with as many hot nasty women as possible? Get a clue. We guys aren't interested in love when the sex isn't there. We aren't women. Second, if we have to give up other women to have you then you damn well are going to give up other men and give us all the hot nasty sex we want or you can be replaced.
Hello Janet. Yeah, it's Pete. How about dinner and dancing. My knee is all better now... ;)
Thankfully not a WACC nor RAAC but not BTB either... Needs a little something. Blond guy gets eaten by a pack of wolves... After being drugged by Pete and tied to a tree... While sweetie Rose watches from a cabin... And is then gang-raped by characters out of Deliverance.
Stupid Women?
Stupid women characters? Well it is a genre mostly about cheating women after all! Cheating is always a selfish act. Selfishness that becomes extreme as in cheating, is self destructive. In this case this woman traded a long term relationship for a weekend fling. Years of time invested for a few days of lust and ego gratification. Even a long term affair of months, does not compare to years of marriage. That is why cheaters try to hide their cheating, they do not want to lose their long term investment - at least until they come up with a plan to trade those years for cash in a divorce settlement. Sadly, in this day and age you had better look at your girlfriend or wife as a business deal. You need to buy insurance and hedge your bets. A person does not have to be "stupid" to cheat. The requirements for cheating are: a lack of personal honor, an arrogant attitude, (My definition: when selfishness exceeds a persons intelligence and over rides their training.) You can screen people in your life by noticing poor decisions that they make based on ego and a lack of honor resulting in unethical behavior.The good news in this case is that he is aware of her character and they have not married. He is moving away from her emotionally and if he uses his head - he will see that she is unfit to be a wife and would be a disaster as a mother. He will lose his anger towards her and his hurt and actually feel grateful to her. He learned that he could love a woman from her and he learned that she put her selfishness before her love for him. So, with what he has learned he has the chance to go off and find a woman with self control that will make a decent wife.
Why?
Why allow yourself to sit there and be humiliated even more by her lies in such detail?
That hurt this chapter more than anything. If he was going to throw her to the curb, than why listen to more of her bullshit?
I said in part 1 that...
I said in part 1 that for me it had a good ending...And I was right! This part didn't add anything to the story. She lost her boyfriend/love when she took him in that trip, knowing she was going to fuck the other guy and when she completly forget about her boyfriend being there...However 3*, just because he didn't receded in his decision, not even with her "corcodile tears" and false remorse...Will this have a part 3? I hope not with her...
matt black
trolls the comments and then shoots his mouth off about other people and has the gall to call them trolls. The story was in my opinion good until you made him out to be an idiot. Comment on that matt you idiot.
Sorry the ending sucked, she got away with everything
here is your story in one sentence, Why did you leave, I only fucked him and humiliated you?
This Story
Is Long from over First Janet from the Lodge should be appearing on the Horizon.
Not to mention her Female friends who know him as a Friend and have feelings for him. But he should really rub her Nose in the fact he has gotten on with his life.
as they say Live Better is the Best Revenge.
Still doesn't make sense
The explanation still makes no sense. If she was horny and her boyfriend was there. Why not have sex with her boyfriend. It was not like they couldn't be together. Why would she not know she was ignoring him. Finally, if the group was going to the dog sled, but only two could go, then why didn't they all leave. How can she invite him and not realize they hadn't spent time together. How many guys would sit back and be ignored by their girlfriend, and never say anything. This was weak!
What wimp.
Just another RAAC bullshit effort.
Friends forever
Please tell me he somehow makes a new friend forever. There is no redeeming aspects of this characters. She will always be able to make friends because she is pretty and outgoing, it doesn't matter how mean and small minded she is people will be drawn. Sure, down the road a ways she may get burned but her friends will pick her up and reinforce her attitude towards her whimp boyfriends. Best case scenario is she lose her beauty somehow and realize how petty she is then finds a humble man to love her forever. As for the boyfriend, Run! If he doesn't get away then he will forever live in her shadow and will come to her rescue anytime she needs saving only to go back to being small and petty as soon as she gets over her pain.
I understand people make mistakes, friends take advantage of each other but, there is no coming back from this type of betrayal. If being just her boyfriend wasn't enough to keep her legs closed then no ring will do it for her. It seems she is only an opportunist friend and kind of gets off on humiliating friends. No drug in the world will make a girl horny specifically for only one person so if this drug made her horny then she should have been all over everyone including her boyfriend. Then she comes to his room to kind of apologize and had to display all the "love bite" marks all over her neck? Please!
Just let this poor character fall in love with another girl, one closer to his personality and looks. It's apparent that he is insecure and that will never go away no matter how much his girlfriend/wife says she loves him. Only way this girl could be his best friend is to leave him alone, forever!
I liked the story
Good effort, especially as this is the author's first story. I don't think there is any need for a sequel, and I don't think Rose "got away with it" as some commentators have stated.
Thanks for writing.
She's covered in hickeys and she expects her boyfriend to stay with her?
If she loved him that much, why cheat on him?
Hat is off to you
Coming from a different culture, writing in English I think you told a good story. I hate to think what a story I had written would look like in Scandinavian.
I don't know if this was the end though, there are still a lot of ways this story could go. If it is the end you should have let us know positively.
Thanks for the effort, its still a good story.
@anon Re: What wimp.
You said:
Just another RAAC bullshit effort.
RAAC means Reconciliation At All Costs, which is not what we have here. Yet. Still, the guy is a wimp.
@Innasipo
Not so bad first effort, but you need an editor. A couple of lines of introduction when you start a story would be useful. At least to know how many chapters there are in total.
Is this story finished?
Did she really expect...
Anyone to believe the crap coming out of her mouth? But otherwise a solid 4*
How could she be so stupid
to believe he would forgive her after all she had done? The most important issue being her total disrespect for his feelings.
Didnt' she already explicitly have a conversation with her friends that she and the protagonist weren't really committed and were more just extended friends, so it wasn't cheating?
Ie, she planned it.
The question is still, why did she push him to go with the group at all if she intended to have a fling?
Pretty sad
Is he a wimp? Yes. When a man is humiliated and can't walk away with his head held high he is a wimp. If the jerk drugged her, is he under arrest? Did all the people who "took Pete's side" gang up and beat the crap out of Jules? Beyond the break up, which Pete is suffering equally, what has Rose suffered?
All we get throughout the story is Pete suffering and nothing ever happens to the perpetrators. He's a wimp and the story leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Similar to me, 30 years ago
My girlfriend had been my next door neighbor and we were engaged, to be married in forty-five days. She talked me into a 3 day rafting trip with some of our wedding party and friends who were mostly hers. What angered and worried me, was a boyfriend of hers, during a time when we argued and broke up in high school for a couple years, somehow ended up going.
During that time Tom had popped her cherry and fucked her regularly, although mutual friends said she fucked him regularly, she wanted it as much and often as he did. Tom ended up cheating on her, they broke up and we resumed our friendship.
My first indication something was wrong, was when I went for a dip in the river and Joli didn't come along. When I returned, she was sitting with Tom as though it were a normal thing and they were both drinking. I took a beer and sat across from them, looking pointedly at Joli, who ignored me and stayed leaned against Tom.
That night she came to our tent late, hammered to the point she puked everywhere. Yet the next day was almost as bad, she swam with Tom, they ate togather and even once I found them napping on the same towel. I grew angry at first, then scared, and finally sad. That second night I went to bed early and yes, watched from inside the tent as Joli made a spectacle of herself with Tom in front of her and our friends. With me not nearby, I watched as they kissed and fondled one another, in full view of everyone. I was sickened and finally lay back to sleep but of course, couldn't.
Joli didn't return to our tent that night and I was packed and ready to leave at daylight. Our river journey took us along a highway for a distance and it wasn't far. Letting one of the guides now I was leaving, he understood, I hiked up to the road and hitched a ride back to our car. Joli could find her own ride home.
She stayed the next night too, the guides wouldn't let anyone else leave, especially a woman. Our mutual friends told me she came to her senses and realized she was in deep shit after finding out I left. She didn't sleep the final night with Tom, she stayed with her maid of honor, or I should say, the girl that was going to be her maid of honor.
By the time she returned home, we didn't live together, her parents were livid. I'd already called them and everyone else we had invited and told them the wedding had been called off. Deposits were lost and she eventually had to pay her parents back. Me? I ignored her. When she called, I didn't answer the phone. When she stopped by, I had changed the locks, her key no longer worked and I refused to open the door.
It took her about a week before she feared we were over forever, a month before she knew it was true. I refused to speak to her, even though we lived in a small town. A town where everyone knew what had happened. She sent letters, I returned them unopened. She sent her friends, whom I told it they mentioned her name I would throw them out my door.
Joli went on to marry Tom, the following summer. Her parents were so angry with her for what she did to me, they told her to find her own place. That place was moving in with Tom and 12 months later, they went to Vegas and came back married. It was pretty uncomfortable for me, I worked for George, her dad.
I found a job in Alaska working up at Prudhoe Bay in the oil fields, first as a grunt and then worked my way up. All my money went into an account administered by a company investor and everything I put in, the company matched. After five years I was what, at one time, I would have considered a wealthy man. After ten years oil flow had slowed enough our jobs were over but I was definitely comfortable.
Revenge is a life well-lived. And I lived it. Returning to my hometown, my parents and family still lived there, I purchased a nice piece of property and built a small home, all in cash. I met a girl on the job in Prudhoe and she came home with me. She was a scientist and I was the luckiest man on earth. We married and waited another five years before beginning our family.
Joli? To this day, I've never spoken a word to her. Violet knows my past and our story and she's spoken to Joli, although never acknowledging she knows of our past. You see, Joli works at the local grocery store and Violet sees her almost every time she goes in.
Tom and Joli were married for two years before they separated the first time after he cheated again, they had four kids before she finally divorced him. I hardly recognized her when I returned, life and motherhood hadn't treated her well. When we were together she was about 105 pounds at 5'3, when I returned she was perhaps twice that weight, if not more. I hope she's happy with her choices, I know I certainly am.
Hackneyed
There are probably dozens of stories like this on Literotica and similar story sites. This one is pretty middle-of-the-pack.
Good job with the ending
Really no other way you could have ended it. Thanks for posting! If there's a follow-up, I hope he hooks up with the other girl.
FYI, Punctuating Dialogue
As an FYI, when one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed. If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative.
When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.
was hoping for a better ending.
clearly she was lying, thre's no way she didn't know her behavior was cruel and humiliating to him. "netorare" unrelenting cruelty turns her on and she needs taking down.
part 3 maybe?
its pretty clear this author a Moron
".I have never lied to you. Well actually I have..."
oh my god.
then there was this LIE by the cunt... "Oh my god, I didn't see it. Oh no, you can't think that I was laughing at you, please tell me you don't think so." She gasped and put her hand on her mouth."
if you go back and re read chapter 1 of this turd of a story you will see she was looking right at Jules and Pete
the cunt even claims.. without no proof at all that somehow the other guy gave hr so low does fate rape drug over the course of 2 days
She CLAIMS to have all this love for Pete BUT she shows up at his door with loves bites and marks all over her body?
why didnt he just spite in her face?
Nice writing I enjoyed every bit of it. Hope to read a part 3.
Harry, please tell us that your phone
auto corrected your last comment! If not, take an aspirin and get to the ER as fast as possible!
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