All Comments on 'Peter Pan Complex Ch. 01'

Shifts in narrator make the story harder to understand. Some of the premises are totally unrealistic - a 20-year-old still nursing at the breast? Didn't someone catch this, years earlier, and bring it to a halt? And the 'mommy' crap drives me up a bloody wall. Won't be reading a "part 2", if it's ever published.

that was ruined by lack of an editor! The grammar is atrocious. First grade math should have told you that if the "price"( I think you meant Prince) is 20 and Mom got married & conceived at age 20, she could not be 38 now. I do like the premise of the story but switching from 1st person to 2nd person to 3rd person is a bit confusing. Flow of the story and attention to details can make or break a story.

…..thought the author meant "little Prince" when he wrote "little price". I thought he meant "little prick"!

… to mention the amazing LLL tits each holding a litre of milk. That's over 2 kilograms or about 4.5 pounds! Wow. The biggest I've read about before were HHH

so we've beaten III, JJJ and KKK! Unreal!

Do you even know bra sizes?

At LLL that makes each breast plus milk

the size of a 15 pound motor cycle helmet.

Obviously English must be your second or third language. Phraseology, sentence structure and word usage are foreign. Or perhaps you are just 6 or 7 and really haven't learned to read and write.

I quit reading after a few paragraphs because this was so poorly written and obviously not proofread or edited. Pure trash regardless of the storyline.

What a perfectly ridiculous story.

Editor schmeditor. An editor should be used to refine a story, to find the stray grammatical mistakes. An editor should NOT be used to provide the "writer" a crash course in basic English.

<P>

This is so badly written that an editor would need to do a complete rewrite, so much so that the editor should be credited as the author.

Terrible, just plain terrible.

PLEASE don't bother to post anything else here. Your writing skills are nonexistent. Setting aside the "language issues" (which are glaringly obvious), your story would have been shitty, even without the more blatant grammatical fuck-ups.

Don't listen to the a holes Your story is great Please continue

Dear loser (wannabe)

I'm so glad I got to read this. It was just great!

Oooh there's more:

In case you can't tell I'm being sarcastic! You stink! You're a senile old buck tooth mummy with boney girl arms and you SMELL LIKE AN ELEPHANTS BUTT!

You don't need an editor. If you took out all of the mistakes, there would not be any story left.

Sorry, but don't bother again.

Like others have said, your writing leaves much to be desired, but this is pretty hot.

The idea of a crazily busty and perpetually milk-laden woman who allows her children indefinite, unrestricted access to her bounteous breasts really does it for a lot of people.

You might want to work on your English and study up on composition, but don't stop writing. FYI, your most jarring errors are the changes in perspective to first-person and then back again.

Who cares about grammatical errors? This story line is hot! Can't wait for more

finally a good story! thanks man. I hope you keep going!

Might be a good story if you can get someone to edit it for proper grammer and misspellings.

Dude, first of all your grammar and math are at the level of a 3 year old. Second, the premises is not only completely impossible but almost illegible. People that rich don't raise their kids, they hire other people to do that. Also, WHAT TWENTY YEAR OLD STILL BREASTFEEDS FROM THEIR MOTHER AND EVEN RUBS IT IN THEIR FATHERS FACE? This mother is clearly a gold digger who should've long been divorced and is actually a horrible parent for not only continually engaging in incestuous acts with her own son but never forcing him to actually grow up. Also, you need to learn fucking anatomy because there is no way a human can hold or drink 2 liters of milk. You would actually break something. Not to forget the back problems having breasts bigger than basketballs would give you without multiple pounds of milk. Please educate yourself before you write such fictitious bullshit and don't even have enough sense to put it as fantasy. Also, go back to the first grade and redo all of elementary, middle, and high school because you are basically illiterate

I don't understand why some people were so crazy aggressive, probably they're having mental problems so don't pay attention to them. Second, people must be crazy if they're looking for realism in erotic stories. There're stories about anything here! About aliens raping elves, just anything. Whatever turns on the author and his readers, anything is possile. It's fiction.

I can't comment on your grammar since English isn't my native language but I realy enjoyed the idea and first 3/4 of the story! Especially the beginning when you described how he sleeps, and the sunlight, and how his mom wakes him up... That was amazing! And the story background, how she grow him up continue feeding, that was really nice also.

The only issues I had were the giant size of his cock and her breasts and how he almost forced mom to please him. The end of the story sounded rushed up, I didn't like it. It started as a story where he's a mommy boy, loving her, etc, so this end when he almost force her or brave enough to ask her to do it sounds illogical. It could be better if it happened somehow unintentionally or she seduced him slowly, something like that. But maybe you want him to be strong and rude, I don't know... I want to see him like a cute guy, a kid, not too manly, but not too submissive either. Just as you described him most of the story. It's up to you of course what to do, just my opinion. Anyway, continue. You have some talent despite what some angry morons wrote here.

I hope to read the development of this story. All the best to you!

Loved it, please make more!

Overall, it's not bad, if you do only take its erotica side for account.

Problem is, you can't... the writing's not good, changing perspective from third person to one person without any care, and the spelling mistake here makes no sense (how anyone, even someone to whom English isn't their mother tongue, could confuse 'prince' with 'price'.... TWICE?)

But the biggest error this author made was such a short tale without giving us immediately its sequels - shifting perspectives and bad grammars would have been forgiven if we actually got to see how the whole thing turned. 'Wasn't meant to be, I guess.

You may be correct in your criticism of this story, however, you can't attack a writer about bad grammar and spelling mistakes then make just as many in your comment as they did in their story.