I didn't understand most of it. The common person does not know what the hell things like 'diaphanous' and 'wanton' mean. I agree that you should not be repetitive with your wording, but you do want to keep it simple enough so we can create the image you are trying to depict. If we cannot comprehend, then how can we possibly imagine?
On the contrary, everyone alive knows what diaphanous and wanton mean. If not the first time you come across them, then the second for sure.
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