homeNonConsent/ReluctanceShelby Ch. 01Public Comments

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Shelby Ch. 01

bygpguy1©
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by Anonymous

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by KJLarson01/18/17

Fun story

Very fun and promising premise. The "this is a dream/fantasy" disclosure at the beginning is a literary buzz-kill. Other than than, well-written and great groundwork for future chapters.

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by Anonymous01/19/17

Smoking hot, almost...

That disclaimer in the beginning is definitely a buzz kill. See if you can do a little reorganization and move that bit of info to the finishing. We don't need to know that it's a fantasy at the start.

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