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It's a "what if" question that's interesting
but it doesn't read like poetry. It reads like prose with line breaks to give it a poetic appearance. I have had poetry come out like that. I have to go back and tweak it until it's a poem. :)
posted on new poems 6-20-04
Eve's right, it doesn't read like a poem, but yet it has structure, some internal rhyme and content. Everything is fluid but the last verse, leaving me feel somewhat incomplete and questioning "what if" this was a poem. *grin*
Very....
....enjoyable reading. It is a bit prosey, as has been commented, and that rhythm doesnt fit all that well with the structure. It would not take much at all to change structure and trim, without loss of meaning. Very good thoughts here, and words as well.
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