All Comments  for

The Deal Ch. 02

bylitfan10©
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Comments (23)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous01/20/17

glad your back

loved this story the 1st time thought it did have an ending guess not can't wait to read the new chapters keep up the good work

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by Turtle195201/20/17

getting there

enjoying the play along the way though

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by boaman00701/20/17

love it

Really enjoying the realistic way the story line is moving. Keep up the good work.

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by tjb50cal01/20/17

good story

so, if the kid earns straight A's would he get laid ? lol

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by TheOldRomantic01/20/17

Interesting lesson of anatony

An interesting lesson in anatomy. Not in my wildest dreams would I have had the imagination of such a teacher.
Waiting for the next chapter to see where the story goes (although I imagine where).
5 * for you.
I apologize for my English (yet), is not my native language.

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by Anonymous01/20/17

bummer that we have to wait a week

but a deal is a deal. thanks for sharing

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by litfan1001/20/17

response to anon email

yeah, these early chapters are a bit short. As a long time journalist, I tend to gravitate to brief writing. I can tell you the chapters do get longer as we go.
This series for me is very episodic - I write them as mini events if you will. Later as the series goes I do start to bring in elements that develop and play out in later chapters.To date, I've finished twenty-seven chapters, and they do fill a large binder pretty nicely.

Thanks for the email.

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by litfan1001/20/17

response to Turtle1952, boaman007 and tjb50cal

Turtle1952 - thanks, I like this as lighthearted. I'm looking for sexy and fun. It does have it's serious moments but bottom line is it's a love story.

boaman007 - thanks. Of all my work, non-erotic and erotic, I'm happiest with this in terms of the development. I tried to make the characters as real as possible.

tjb50cal - too funny - Matt and Diana have much wheeling and dealing ahead of them.

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by litfan1001/20/17

response to TheOldRomantic and first anon

TheOldRomantic: thanks for you nice comments. Your English was great. I hope you enjoy where the story goes.

Anon: When I decided to bring this back I did think about releasing it all at once or in some staggered form. I settled on this weekly basis so (1.) I wouldn't flood Literotica with a lot at once and possibly irritate the site owners, and (2.) weekly gives me a chance to keep writing new chapters so there will be no long wait between chapters.
I'm trying to write two complete finished new chapters every three/two weeks. Ideally, I will finish writing the series before I submit the penultimate chapter. That's the deal I made with myself.
Thanks for your patience and the great comment.

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by litfan1001/20/17

first anon comment

Anon: Sorry I missed you the first round. Thanks, it feels great to be back. As an episodic series, you could leave it where I stopped writing the first time years ago, but I do have a definite ending in mind that really settles the future of the characters. I hope you enjoy the new chapters as well. If you followed everything the first time, chapter twenty-eight will be the first chapter of completely new material. Before I submit each chapter I'm rereading them to polish them up a bit, and it has been a blast to read them again. I hope that is the same for my readers.

Thanks again.

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by Anonymous01/21/17

Journalist?

How come they never taught you how to use semicolons? Google them; you're misusing them in a lot of places. They're not for decoration or for ending questions.

Good dialogue, though. Sometimes a bit long to be believable, but solid.

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by Anonymous01/21/17

Fun story

Quite a few mothers have been able to change son's behavior for the better with similar deals. Rewards vary but mom remains in control and enjoys the arrangement.

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by litfan1001/21/17

comments

Anon: Yep Journalist - with a long and successful career. You know, I wanted to say "Oh hell no" at the semicolon comment but right away I saw a misuse in the story. So much for that. As the Deal is a non-revenue work I edit it myself. Obviously I need to be a little more careful. Dialogue can be challenging as we don't read and speak the same way but overall I'm happy with it here.

Considering editing I will take this moment to say when I was first posting this series a reader pointed out my misuse of the word "smirk." It was a lesson to me as in my vernacular and upbringing "smirk" had a playful connotation not really negative. To me and those around me "smirk" meant with playful mischief not it's actual definition of annoying of smug intent. To me that is "sneer." I still see it more as playful and do hear it as such in daily use so I've left it.

Second anon: definitely it is reward based and the characters are by nature good people. I know I'd love to meet them in real life.
Hope you continue to enjoy it.

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by Anonymous01/22/17

This is a great story series. I love that you dont make us wait a month between the chapters even if a week is way long enough to have to wait. I just wish the chapters weren't only one pagers. You just get into the story and then it ends.

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by litfan1001/22/17

comment to anon

Hi, thanks for the comment. Happily the chapters don't stay short - they do get progressively longer. Personally, I like short pieces here on Lit as a reader. Coupled with the journalism background, I tend to keep it short myself. Whenever I write a full length book I have to approach it from a totally different mentality and find it is harder for me than my mag/newspaper work.
Keeping it weekly gives me more time to get further ahead and keep the flow so it will be weekly until the end. I thought about twice a week but feel between health (which is a lot better) and full time non-erotic work I wouldn't be able to finish the series before all the chapters were out creating a longer gap before new chapters came out.
Enjoy

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by Irfon01/23/17

I really thought that...

....something was about to happen !

Can I breathe now ?? :-))

Keep going kiddo - great story and hopefully you'll continue ?

P.S.
I shot the last grammar nazi...HAHAHAHA

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by litfan1001/25/17

reply to Irfon

Loved your comment, thanks.

Eh, the "grammar nazis" never bother me at all, especially as I did see a semicolon out of place right away.
Yeah, I do find there are plenty of teases here, but there are pay offs as well.

I definitely will continue - I just finished chapter twenty-eight today and already started twenty-nine. I'm sticking with my plan of submitting a chapter every week until it's all finished.

I hope you will stick around for the ride.

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by oldpup01/26/17

Great Read!!

Please keep writing. If only mothers and/or other mature women would provide young men with some basic sex education in real life. Now she has to move on to the next lesson......soon??

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by litfan1001/27/17

To oldpup

Hey oldpup: Thanks, it was a fun visual scene to write. I enjoy the old sexperts interacting with the newbies in this series - it is a lot of fun with the dynamics.
I have twenty-eight chapters complete at the moment and will release one a week.
Thanks again and I hope you continue to enjoy the series.

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by Eric_Shift01/29/17

Very happy reading indeed

Please go on.

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by litfan1001/29/17

response to Eric_Shift

Thanks, I like to keep this a sexy, fun and happy story. As we go, it does get serious at times but overall sexy, fun and happy are my main goals.
Glad you liked it.

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by Corey2Justified02/10/17

So I felt it was kind of a lie because she promised to take things off one at a time and suddenly she slip her skirt and panties down.

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by litfan1002/13/17

response to Corey2justified

Thanks, funny you should say that about the abrupt end of the striptease - when I was reviewing this after so many years I thought that too - I felt Matt got gypped.
Never stop a hungry woman I guess.

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